for PATTAYA TRADER 174 (A)

A PEACE-NOR-QUIET PUPPET
Sat in his lap
she looks so funny,
as if the girl were
a ventrilloquist's dummy.

The man sits quiet.
She's a big-mouth,
and blows hot air
north, west, east, south.

Yes sat in his lap
she looks very funny,
don't bet on peace
you'll  lose your money.

GREENISH-GLAMOURISH-
GIRL-ARE-YOU
You are never one to listen
nor ever one to observe.
Your lovely-hair glistens,
you've good looks, the very nerve
to think it is quite enough
just to appear pretty-glamoorous.

DOWNED DESPOTS?
If women once ruled the earth
why were they overthrown?
Were these goddesses despots?
Will it ever get to be known
if women once ruled the earth?
Perhaps it's so, perhaps it's not.

THE-BEAR-HUGGING-GIRL
She met the man
by the town-square
in  a pub-place called
The Honeybear.

Big hugs, big hugs,
goes up the stairs
when back at home,
not with her tiny-teddybear !

for PATTAYA TRADER 173 (F)

A-PAST-PALE-PRECIOUS-PEARL-
PARASITE-SURE
Pale and out the sun
was once the thing,
but to sport a tan
is now to be 'in'.
The pale weren't like the ruddyish rest
who were the peasants, half-undressed,
in the fields and, no, not at their best.

A-POLE-APART?
Your glass is half-empty,
my glass is half-full.
We've got the polar-balance, girl,
though your end icy and miserable.

for PATTAYA TRADER 173 (E)

THE-VIRGIN-VENTING-VAMPIRE-
HAS-JUST-ARRIVED-HERE-IN-TOWN
When the Count Alucard
comes into town,
just like his name
he turns girls' heads around.

There's no hanging about
like a sleepy-bat,
with a young virgin lady
he soon is sat;

will take the poor-girl
under his wing,
his eyes and teeth
so very piercing.

TO-FALL-APART-TINY-MINDED-
FRIENDS-WERE-BOUND?
Told to grow up -
when we were young -
and to get married,
not keep living in sin,
by so-called friends
who've divorced become
and now gone away,
we pair far-outlasting
those who frowned on us,
those who poked fun,
the very same people
once bound by a ring.

WELL-ROUNDED-INDIVIDUALS
Around the sheepish-flocks,
around, too, the common-herds;
around the horse-sensed-people
pass the 'individuality'  word !

IT'S-THE-PIPING-HOT-PAN-TYPE-
GUY-GETS-PLAYFUL-FIND
Like Pan with his pipes
he plays a pretty-note.
The guy is half-man
and yes, half-mountain-goat.
All the ladies love him
and he too loves them,
which is very natural
when girls join with young men !

for PATTAYA TRADER 173 (D)

FROM-STRAWBERRY-HAIR-
TO-THE-PEACHES-SURE-FIND
You recall me
with a strawberry-blonde?
Guy, that girl
I moved beyond.

I took a flight
to old Siam
and now a teacher
I surely am.

The ladies there
are such a peach.
Pretty-women
I like to teach.

Back for a visit,
and you recall
a strawberry-blonde.
I hardly at all !

BETWEEN-TWO-BUDDING-
FILM-STARS-YOU'LL-FIND-ME
Ah to have been a performance-learner
with a fine young actress, Kathleen Turner.
And to have taken an Easy Rider run
with a fine young actor, Jack Nickelson.
But Kathy, she was Romancing the Stone
and Jacky sure got beaten to dead bones.
Kathy much younger, Jacky older than I.
As inbetweener, they both passed me by.

LATE-HIS-ARRIVAL-AT-
THE-VAMPIRE'S-ABODE
A Romanian gypsy
with a Transylvanian vernacular
spoke of a Count Alucard,
mirror-image of Count Dracula.

She said that Alucard
had gone out to dine,
he'd be back before
the sun would rise and shine.

The company of young women
was his delight.
They had him a-howling
like a wolf in the black bat night.

The Romanian gypsy
then said "On reflection
you look pale as a virgin.
Glad you missed your connection?"

WHERE'S-THE-MERIT?
The card-carrying communist
who buys a ticket for the lottery
speaks of a brotherly love,
but hates the rich does he.
What must we make of this?
What's wrong with a meritocracy
other than run-away capitalism
makes a far poorer man of he.

A-WARSHIP-WOMAN-SHE
She was buxom
and then some.
So beautiful
and bountiful
and on the rum.
A drunkard to be sure,
the fresh-sea-air no cure.
Yes so beautiful
and bountiful
but a woman o' war.

TOASTING-A-BEAUTY'S-ABSENCE?
Wine and women?
Yes I like them,
as I like the flower
atop the rose-stem;
and feel its thorns
when my head's swimming
yet drowning in wine
without the women !

THIS-AND-THAT-AND-
THE-MIDDLING-OTHER
If we're not for this
we must surely be for that,
as though there were no neutralities
for us to be at.
As if there were no centre-ground
as the wheel of change goes around.

NEVER-A-NEMESIS-LOVER-
AM-I
You preach about love.
Don't you mean compassion,
or perhaps tolerance?
But the word's in fashion
though I can't love the enemy,
for it would make a masochist of me !

LATENTLY-LOW-DOWN-
AND-DEADLY?
No man is born evil?
Arrives an angel not a devil?
A babe can do no harm
but once it's grown can charm
or shoot you down to his level.

173 (C)

JUST-A-DAMN-HOUSE-AND-HORSEWORK-
DRUDGERY
The Victorian workhouse
was very-much one for alarm.
So was the Marxist-workhorse
carrying the rest in Animal-Farm.

CHOOSY-IS-SHE
She'd escaped a dictatorship,
said she found in a democracy
you can choose to be a slave
and you can choose to be free,
but under a dictatorship
a slave you'll always be.

for PATTAYA TRADER 173 (B)

MOTORMOUTH MICHAEL
Mouth-a-lot Michael
rides a motorcycle.
He doesn't know when to stop.
Working as a courier,
he's out to break the speed-barrier,
gives it all he's got.
Yes mouth-a-lot Mike,
he rides a motorbike,
which break the barrier first?
His motor or his mouth
as he flies north and south?
Ever big headed? He's the worst !

for PATTAYA TRADER 173 (A)

THE-FINE-BLACK-BULL-BREAKS-THROUGH-
THE-FILD'S-BARRIERS-LIKE-A-BUDDHA

Dual were the horns
grown on his head.
"I must rise above
my station," he said.
"I must rise above
all duality.
From this field
I shall then be free."
The field of cows
looked at the bull.
He might be black
but he was beautiful.
He'd rise, rise above
earthly love and hate,
the ties which bound them
to their state
like the lock and chain
there on the gate.

PLAINLY-POEM-INSPIRING
She was no pretty Sappho
and there was no verse ran
like blood through her veins,
but like the ancient Lesbosian
she slept with women
and would sleep with a man.
The girl slept with me
and this poem, for her, began.

FIND-GONE-HAS-THE-CLOUDY-GIRL-
MOST-FORTUNATELY
Now the cold-girl has gone
and the sun is shining,
I shall view her as
a silver-cloud with a gold-lining.

CARE-AND-MAINTENENCE-NEEDS-
A-DECAYING-MERITOCRACY
There are some financially merit
and some who simply inherit.
There are those surely paid in excess
and sorts whose work's found meritless.

WISDOM-AND-KNOWLEDGE
I'd a friend from the land
of the Dalai Lama.
Yes he was a Tibetan man
who'd fled from the bad karma
Chinese soldiers were sowing
in the place he had called home.
Wisdom comes not with knowing
you can oppress another's zone.

NO-HEAVEN-ON-EARTH-
FOR-HE?
For several heavenly-virgins
and the wine here he was denied -
taking too the lives of victims -
the suicide-bomber died?

for PATTAYA TRADER 172 (G)

AN-IMPISH-IMPOSITION?
Several shades of red
are worn by the elves
who wish to undermine the society
of selfish, not elvish, selves.
Find they cannot  agree
which one red-shade is the best,
or which one red-colour to go
impose upon the rest.

for PATTAYA TRADER 172 (F)

A-FLOORED-WIFE-NEAR-
A-DOOR
He strikes her down,
he knocks her flat,
he treats his lady
so-like a doormat.

It's knock, knock, knock.
Who's by the door?
It's his mat-lady
lying on the floor.

for PATTAYA TRADER 172 (E)

THE-MINUTE-BUTTERHAIRED-
FAIRY-YOU'LL-FIND?
With yellowy-gold locks
she'll stand up
no taller than does
a buttercup.

Tiny, oh sure tiny.
Find a fairy-mite
stands in the grass
way beneath sunlight ?

THE-HEADY-ROAM-AROUND-
WOMAN-DREAMER
Like an aboriginee,
here in the sunshine,
I lay right-back
deep in dreamtime.

Heavenly visions of you
girl, have no doubt,
inside my head
go walkabout.

for PATTAYA TRADER 172 (D)

SUMMERY-RETURNS
Sometimes her autumn
can be mistook
for summer years.
She has now that look.
I see her hair
with a golden glow
one hardly believes
will turn white as snow.
But turn to white -
after turning to grey -
will her hair of gold,
sure as leaves decay.

VOCATION-IN-VERSIFICATION-
MINE-IS-FIND
Verse is my vocation,
as you can see.
Eve's was the lesson
of the knowledge-tree.
The Buddha's the path
to spirituality.
If only his wisdom
had set the world free.
Not through religion,
his fine philosophy.

for PATTAYA TRADER 172 (C)

THE-KNIGHTMARE-HERS
From a dragon of a dream
you have awoken.
It leaves you weeping, girl,
and heart-broken.

From a dark dungeon
in the depths of your mind
you have emerged, lady,
no lordly-lover to find.
Gone has your prince, false-princess.
The guy found you out a sorceress.

THE-BOHEMIAN-BEAUTY
She was like a Parisienne
with her black beret,
her zebra-striped top
and eye for art, I'd say.

Yes she was like a Parisienne,
a beautiful girl from Paris gay.
Oh for kisses, French kisses,
from zebra-lady in the hay !

A-RUNAROUND-WORLD
Running, running,
after dreams men chase.
Welcome, the newly born,
to the human race.
Running, running, we run run run
round in circles, like the earth the sun.

for PATTAYA TRADER 172 (B)

FIND-A-FLUTTER-ON-BY-
LADY-IT-IS
She's a voodoo doll
and an unpinned butterfly
with whom men
surely desire to lie.

But not for her
the living hell
of a broken-marriage,
gone the spell.
And not for her
the collector's glass-coffin.

THE-STICKLEBACK-JACK'S-NOT-HE
Ride upon a salmon
did tiny Pebblebrook Jack,
better than to go ride
on a prickly stickleback.

Ride upon a salmon
or a rainbow-trout,
sticklebacks stay in water,
while salmon-and-trout leap out.

for PATTAYA TRADER 172 (A)

TEACHER-MARK-TO-STUDENT-Z
"I'll teach you the alphabet,
my mature student be;
sat down at a desk
with your Siamese-woman-beauty.
A present to a foreign pupil,
the lessons all for free;
a gift from an English tutor,
mister-M. to lady-Z."

A-SIAMESE-CAT-GIRL-CAN-SURE-
GET-ITCHY-FEET-YOU'LL-FIND
She is no feminist
though she is a feline.
She is the kind of a cat
whose lives number up to nine.
The girl likes to get around,
will scratch your back with her claws
if you're not an envious guy
who minds a girl with itching paws.

PERSONAL-FAVOURITES-
VERSE-POEM
He: "What's your favourite colour?"
She: "Rainbow."
He: "Your favourite food?"
She: "Knowledge, y'know."
He: "Favourite drink?"
She: "Life, that would be."
He: "Your favourite music?"
She: "Love is my melody."
He: "Who's your favourite personality?"
She: " The kind of person who's like me !"

A-DAILY-DRUG-NOT-ANY-
MORE-GIRL
Hooked on you pretty-woman,
symptoms of withdrawal when away,
I could have sought a cure
but you wer the drug of the day.

Hooked on you pretty-woman?
I am hooked on you no more.
You were a very bad-habit.
Girl you're no longer a heavenly-score.

for PATTAYA TRADER 171 (G)

THE-LADY-LANDLUBBER'S-TREASURE-
WAS-NOW-HIS-BOOTY
The pirate's ship sailed
into a lady's cove,
and there the man found
her hidden treasure-trove.

His hands upon her hills
sure went out to rove,
taking pleasure from the plunder
of a lady's treasure trove.

THE-LIFE-LIGHT-FOLK
The selfish, damn-greedy,
envious and fiercly-manipulative;
theirs the dead-of-night darkness
while in the light the rest live.

for PATTAYA TRADER 171 (F)

THE MYSTICS'-MATERIALISTIC-MENACE
A spiritual home of the Buddha
and where the Yeti's foot had set,
the cruel-soldiers of Red China
have taken possession of Tibet.
They're out to crush the mountain men,
grind them into the ground find.
When wars aren't caused by religion
they're caused by the materialist-mind.

for PATTAYA TRADER 171 (E)

THE WORLD-WIDE-EYES?
Several Buddhist girlfriends
and one a lovely-Hindu,
as well as the white-Christians
whom I have courted too;
it's good to be single
and with foreign ladies mingle
when overseas with a wide world view?

for PATTAYA TRADER 171 (D)

THE BLUE-BROOK-WATER-WOMAN-EYES
Skimming stones upon the water,
in his eyes a far-away look,
he was not to spy the daughter
of the dark-lady of the brook.

No, not to spy the daughter
of the dark-lady of the brook,
who was fishing for a landlubber,
and whose offspring was the hook.

Yes, whose offspring was the hook,
the girl whose gaze upon him cast.
He turned and saw and shook.
She'd a beauty that held him fast.

She'd a beauty that held him fast,
she'd a beauty that held him true.
She'd eyes that a spell had cast.
He drowned in their watery-blue.

A-PERFECT-PICTURE-COULDN'T-BE-
FRAMED-BY-A-MARRIAGE-NO
Your and my love-making
was a work of art,
but now the canvas is
very-much torn apart.
For the picture you sought a frame,
believing that love could be contained.

A SEA-CHANGE LIFE
Take me, do, as I am,
and as I come to be.
All go through changes.
Don't need a girl to change me.
Yes take me as I am
and as I come to be.
All go through changes
just like the great changing sea.

for PATTAYA TRADER 171 (C)

FIND-IT-WAS-A-WOLF-AND-
BAT-MOON-FOR-DREAMY-SHE
A werewolves' full-moon
hung outside her room,
but her man was more the vampire.
He would come in the night
and leave a love bite,
from her he'd then retire.
To the dawn she would awake,
heart pierced as with a cruel-stake,
finding such-dreams only formed of desire.

RELIVE-AND-LEARN-DO?
It's good and bad
to meet with you.
I am just a spirit
passing on through.

I'm heading home.
Maybe I'll return.
We live to die
and also learn?

IT'S-THE-HOUND-ON-THE-LOVELY-
LADIES'-HEAVENLY-SCENTS
They came into my life
and then each-one went,
now my memory's a hound
upon their sweet  scent.
Ah the foxy ladies
with their feminine wiles,
the unchaste Pattay beauties
in the Land of Smiles.

for PATTAYA TRADER 171 (B)

THE-GREAT-DRAGON-RIDER'S-
DARKEST-HOUR-CAME
Blew, blew, blew, the blizzard,
while flew, flew, flew, the giant-winged-lizard,
on its back the grand old wizard.
Blew, blew, blew, the snow-storm,
white as is white the magical unicorn,
only to leave the blackest morn.

THE-FAIR-PLAY-EMPLOYER-
FOR-POOR-MAN-HE
He hates the rich
but hates being poor.
Who'll keep the wolves
from the door?
Some hate the rich
yet play the lottery
though they are not
as poor as can be.
Driven  by envy he is not.
A fair-paid job he hasn't got.

ON-STEPS-PASSES-
WE-TWO-MADE
We passed on stone-stairs.
It was she going up
and I just going down.
Some went up and down in pairs.
Don't give me that dirty-look.
To meet we sure were bound.
Though it was later, and on the level.
Which bedded the angel? Which bedded the devil?

FIND-MERIT-AND-
DAMN-MISFORTUNE
When the wheel of life
is roulette
you take a chance,
you place a bet.

When the wheel of life
is sagious
the gambling habit
is less contagious.

SELF-SALVATION-THROUGH-
INWARD-OBSERVATION-FOR-SHE
Looking to the outward stars
instead of her inner-scars,
salvation lies not out there,
she'll carry her scars everywhere.
This world has much to teach her
if she'd let the lessons reach her.

A-SUGAR-DADDY-GIRL-SHE
After a father figure
was the girl, I know.
A good few years younger than me,
she sat down and said so;
in a bar in Pattaya,
in a land that's young.
I was that father figure.
Sought sugar the pretty-one !

for PATTAYA TRADER 171 (A)

A-GALLIC-GIRL-NOW-POSED-FIXEDLY-
FOR-A-TO-BE-FRAMED-PICTURE
She was from France,
was the artist's rose.
He painted her
without her clothes.

He, an Englishman,
had her naked pose.
The girl shed her petals,
find then she froze.

SMART ALEX
Should the guy wear his bossy-boots
with his smarty-pants, or his clever-clogs?
He'll put on his head his handicap
very sure he looks a top dog.

A-CAUSE-CAREERIST
Don't be a one
to fight a lost cause.
Heal your wounds,
your cuts-and-sores.
Pick yourself up,
dust yourself down,
soon a new cause
can be found.

for PATTAYA TRADER 170 (G)

IT-IS-FANTASY-ISLAND-
IN-HER-I-FIND-OH-YES
Shiver m' timbers,
rattle m' bones,
the lovely-lass
is the wind that groans.
Arrr the wind that groans
and the sea that sighs.
She is m' Treasure Island
and also m' Isle of Paradise.

for PATTAYA TRADER 170 (F)

AXED-THE-HEAD-TAX
Two heads better than one?
Find this wouldn't have been the fact
when folk got their big-bills
under the poll-tax !

A PRECIOUS PEARL
Green palms, blue lagoon,
orangy-yellow-sun late-afternoon.
Coconut-juice, oysters too,
and the very pearl-of-a-girl that's you.

THE-ECLIPSING-COUPLE-THEY
Eyes meet across
a crowded room.
Boy meets girl.
Gold-sun meets blue-moon.
Lips will meet lips
the pair in eclipse.

LOVING-VENUS-VERSUS-
WARRING-MARS?
Women come from Venus
and men come from Mars,
but both are quite capable
of pure-love-and-evil-wars.

THE-PRETTY-DAMSEL'S-
IMPRISONED-HEART?
The girl sits on a wall
waiting, waiting to fall
into the arms of a fine-young-man
who is like a battering-ram
breaking down walls in an age bygone:
"Please come free me, fair-princely-one !"

IT'S-A-MAD-CITY-MAN'S-
TIME-TO-TRAVEL-VERSE
I like the city
but have to leave
when there is not
enough space to breathe
and the madding-crowds
make a guy grieve
for the loss of a countryside,
open fields, sky clear-and-wide.

THE-KITE-FLYING-COUPLE-
WERE-WE
We flew a kite midsummer
and balloons at Christmastime.
We were like young-children
or actors in a pantomime.
Yes we were like young-children.
At Christmas aren't we all?
And many in midsummer,
aware that soon will come the fall?

for PATTAYA TRADER 170 (E)

THE-PALE-MIDNIGHT-MOON
The night is black as a crow
and dove-white sure is the snow,
but it's an owl calls from the wood
whose trees are like tall shadows stood
beneath a pale-as-a-ghost moon's glow.

A-REALLY-SMALL-ONE'S-
HIGH-LEVEL-LOVE-WAS-IN-TATTERS
For my mum, I reached higher,
to pick a rose from a brier,
when I was but a tot.
I fell and my shirt was torn
upon many a brier-thorn
(I was to go meet with her scorn).
Love appear in rags cannot?

A-LYING-FOOL-HE-WAS-
LEFT-THE-LUNATIC
Because he was a crook
he told lies, y'know.
The lies grew and grew,
like the nose on Pinnochio.
But those lies found him out
and his friends would go.
Forgetting what was true or false
his mind left him also.
Some think it clever to be dumb
and finish up in a lunatic-asylum.

A-TOTAL-POWER'S-DESPOTS?
For some it's sure power
find turns them on,
like the rapist with the power
over his victim-woman;
or the politician
with his law-making pen;
and complete power...
what then? What then?

for PATTAYA TRADER 170 (D)

MIDDLE WAY?
The Church persecuted men
in it's universal evolution.
The Church persecuted by turn
when came the communist revolutions.
Science and religion go their own way?
Not so, do the Buddhists say.

for PATTAYA TRADER 170 (C)

THE-PURRING-EARTHY-
FEMALE'S-PERFECT-SOLO-ACTS
She was used-and-abused
when a kid; then adult-and-fit
she was performance-purrfect.
All down to herself, Eartha Kitt.

for PATTAYA TRADER 170 (B)

THE-FEATHERED-FRIENDS?
I say you're too pretty,
you say I'm too clever.
We could go on, girl,
 like this forever.
You'd think us both parrots,
but birds of a feather?
Are we not opposites
attracted by the other?

for PATTAYA TRADER 170 (A)

IRELAND'S-GOLDEN-ROSE-GETS-
TOO-DAMN-DRUNK !
To Britain she'd come over,
with a sprig of lucky clover,
and Rosie is her name.
She's an Irish-gypsy-type.
Ah yes you've seen the like.
She's known to drink and profane.
Outside of her wagon,
sat with a whiskey-flagon
underneath the starry night;
the girls sings of the roads,
hedgehogs, frogs and toads,
of mushrooms by dawn's gold light.

NEVER-THE-BON-VOYAGE-
THE-ROSE-D'OR?
The gold-girl has gone, she is gone;
without even a goodbye.
Never a wave-of-her-hand;
not as if she was too shy.
She has gone, the gold-girl is gone;
in the blink-of-an-eye
I beheld a very-pretty-rose.
Thorns cut, though I'll not go die.

for PATTAYA TRADER 169 (E)

THE-SUNNY-HOT-SPOTS-GIRL-
GOES-RUNNING
Her love for him is very rash.
She's got a fever, she has the hots.
He's the lifeguard on the beach.
She's breaking out in polka-dots.
The girl's head-over-heels for him,
but he's so much older, you understand.
This girl doesn't wish to know.
She runs to him across the sand.
She runs to him across the sand
in her skirt with sun-yellow spots.
Yes her love for him is very rash.
She's broken out in polka-dots.

IT'S-A-FLYING-CARPET'S-
PAIR-FIND
Open sesame:
our mouths did so, wide.
The two tongues met, girl,
on a magic-red-carpet ride.

A-WET-WITH-THE-WIND-BLOWING-
WILL-BE-YOUR-DAY-TOMORROW
The weatherman
has got it wrong.
Tomorrow there'll be
no kind sun or song.

The astrologer
has told you this:
"A wind will blow you
the wettest kiss."

THE-BENNY-HILL-BRILLIANCE
Very saucy postcards
from a seaside-town.
A variety performance
jesting-clown.

You're on a holiday.
Who's the turn on the bill?
Just that chap Benny,
cheeky as a Fanny Hill !

for PATTAYA TRADER 169 (D)

A-SOLITARY-SCRIBE-YES
However you term it,
a poet or a hermit,
I've my wordings, my spellings;
my verses or my rhymes
about past and future times.
The present, too, for the telling.

SIGNPOST-POETS-SOME-ARE
Some are born to lead
and some to follow, I say.
Then find there are those
born to point out the pathway.

AQUARIAN-AGE
Humanity, individuality,
Fairness. Pour on us
(we under its sign)
the silvery waters of Aquarius.

for PATTAYA TRADER 169 (C)

THE-TOXIC-HUMAN-TERRESTRIALS
"Our hurricanes-and-tsunamis,"
calls the air and the seas
"will storm you like mighty armies.
You humans are a deadly-disease !"

for PATTAYA TRADER 169 (B)

THE-GROWLING-HOT-COUGAR-LADY'S-
RED-RAW-WELCOMES
She came from Cougar Canyon -
young men were her meat -
to live in New York City.
The boys there a bigger treat.

In bars or in the street
she came across young men
whom this type of cougar
took back to her den.

Ah she came from Cougar Canyon
and preyed upon the young.
Find just few objected
to a more than warm welcome !

REGAL-SWAN-GIRL-YES-
YOU-ARE
Today's was a swanny-sea,
just like Swansea's water's said to be.
Tonight come and lay down with me,
we'll make love, swan-lady, majestically.

for PATTAYA TRADER 169 (A)

THE-PINKY-EGLANTINE-AND-
A-PURE-WHITE-EQUINE
'Twas under a magic spell
a white horse became he,
and under a magic spell
a sweetbrier became she.
A white horse he'd sure become
and to her was to hoof, to run.
The equine and the eglantine.
Go seek love in flower, find the sun?

for PATTAYA TRADER 168 (G)

FAR-AWAY-FROM-FROWNING-
FAMILY-AND-FRIENDS
Ah when in Rome
do as does an Italian?
She sought for a man,
a famed gigolo and stallion.
She danced, danced, danced.
Danced the whole-night through.
Ah when in Rome
do as English-foreigners do !

FIND-JOBLESS-JIM-ENJOYS-
A-DOLE-LIFE-WHILE-ENVYING-
WORKING-FOLK-THEIR-EVERY-
BELONGING
Young Jim sure likes to shirk,
he just doesn't want to work.
Lazy-boned is his situation.
Idleness and envy his vocation.
He wants the latest gadjetry,
all of the latest wizardry.
Says "Let the workers carry me
and give me everything for free."
Sure likes to shirk young Jim.
He wants the dole and everything.

for PATTAYA TRADER 168 (F)

UNDER-A-BLUE-MOON
You are in a deep hole
that is larger than a moon-crater.
A girl looks for a man.
A girl looks for a lover.

A man shall come, girl.
He will come later,
then your growing anxiety
shall, at last, be over.

And over the moon,
now no longer under,
your young-heart will be
no more torn assunder.

A man shall come, girl.
Later if not sooner.
You will not be blue
beneath the glowing lunar.

for PATTAYA TRADER 168 (E)

YOU-ARE-A-PERSON-INCLINED-
TO-CORRECT-MISPELT-WORDS
I sure have an inkling
that you are the type
who seeks out errors
in the words men write.

I sure have an inkling
that you come awake
over a verse-poet's
or a printer's mistake.

I sure have an inkling
you're under a spelling
of what the poet
or publisher's selling.

for PATTAYA TRADER 168 (D)

A-FINAL-FLOOD'S-FORECAST?
His crystal ball
was a goldfish-bowl,
a tiny carp within.
The tiny carp told
of an age of gold
and many angelfish aswim.
No sharks then,
not even men
walking on the land.
Now the wizard, he
became a merman-of-the-sea
with a wave of wand in his hand.

THE-RIGHT-PROPER-NUT-NO?
At free speech you tut-tut.
Yes you would censor and cut.
Then keep your own mouth tight-shut
like the shell of a nut !

THE-TOP-OF-THE-TOWER-TALE-
SHOUTS-RICHLY-IN-LOVE-CINDERELLA
The pretty glass-like-shoe
from your foot you slip.
He fills it with wine
and takes a sip.

A fairy-godmother
you feel is near.
Is that she who
whispers in your ear?

Is that she who
was the teller
of a classic tale,
you Cinderella?

Was that you who
was to doubt it?
Climb atop a tower
and do now shout it !

WENT-WEST-WILDE'S-
DAMNED-BRILLIANT-WIT
Poets Dorothy Parker
and Ogden Nash,
witty verifiers in
a land of cash, cash, cash.
Now Oscar Wilde,
he journeyed there.
Only his genius
was he to declare.
And when he left
the overawed Americans,
he left behind
some very-witty gems ! 

for PATTAYA TRADER 168 (C)

THE-HISSING-CRADLED-CATS-
MAKE-PRESIDENT-PUTIN-LOOK-
A-FORMER-FANNY?
Ex-commie Putin
is now using religion
to subjugate. He's no Rasputin
with a Russian royal under his thumb.
Just a Tsar-like president
whom the band Pussy-Riot sure resent.

CHAINED-TO-THE-WHEEL-OF-
EVER-CHANGING-LIFE?
Should we inherit
a past life's merit
find this could explain
why some at the top
and some at the bott
of the spiritual chain.

A-WORLD-ABOVE
The stag upon the high-hill
or the mountain ram.
Making love with you,
climb above the world I can.

THE-THRUSH'S-SONG-THORNY-
SURE-IS-NOT
There's a songbird sings
in the thorn-bush.
Sings, yes sings
the thorn's thrush.
The song has wings
no bush wounds and stings.

BECOME-MY-BOOTY-
O-CUTIE
Thar she blows...
arrr thar she blows...
the breeze behind her,
sand beneath her toes.
She is no ship
but call her Mary-Rose.
No pilgrim or gypsy,
thar the girl cutely-goes.

FIND-A-CRABBY-FACED-HERMIT-
IS-THE-CRANKY-MAN
On a cyclic earth
with a cyclic sea,
life going round
in circles for he;
the man feels bad,
and he looks bad;
locks himself away
just like a hermit-crab.

UNDERWATER-WITHOUT-
HER-UNDERWEAR
She's a sailor's gal,
ah a sailor's gal;
naughty, oh naughty
and nautical.

She sails with him
in dreamy-sleep,
swims with him
there in the deep.

Becomes a mermaid
the deep-sleeper,
and a merman
her wavy-lover.

for PATTAYA TRADER 168 (B)

A-BIG-CITY'S-CAT-GIRLS
She's one of the big cats.
One of the many whites and blacks.
Up and down the street she makes tracks.
One of the girls in leopardskin-slacks.
It's just hard-work, sweat and heat,
here in London's jungle of concrete.

THE-HAPPY-PAIR
A good-meal a day,
that's what I said.
A loving-girl too,
and a sturdy bed !
Top it off with
a roof over our heads.

BEGGING BOWLS
Beggars here, beggars there,
beggars, beggars, everywhere.
Were I a giver to all I meet
I'd be beggared, out in the street !

THE-FOLK-OFTEN-LACKING-FIND
One often wants,
the other often needs.
One is often greedy,
the other often lacks greed.

THE-SING-SONG-SEA-IN-CHAINS
What is high-tide here
is low-tide elsewhere.
What is low-tide here
is high-tide across there.
And so the sea is cyclic
but also chained to time.
Chained like we to changes
just as Dylan Thomas in his rhyme.

THE DEMONICALLY-
DIVINE-DIVISIONS
"There's only one God"
find the divides say,
and for this Divine
the other divides go slay
to gain good-Heaven
the bad boys way.

OTHERWORLDLY
Find no such thing as nothing,
contradictory as this seems.
Where you spy empty spaces
I spy airy future dreams.

for PATTAYA TRADER 168 (A)

PARIS-AND-SONGSTER-PIEF
Here, you are Piaf,
and in Paris, Pief.
Many sought your autograph.
Many mourned your death.
Many loved the song-lady who
came, gave voice, then left.

for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (G)

FIND-A-HORSE-HOOFED-HEART
There was no Black Bess,
the horse a work of fiction.
Dick Turpin was a wicked man
despite the novel contradiction.

Ah be my Yorkshire lass,
young-lady so very-pretty.
I'll be your Yorkshire lad
here in fairytale York City.

How my heart pounds
like hooves upon the horse
that never, not ever, ran
a London to York course.

LORD-I-TO-LADY-MINE
I'll be her sword,
I'll be her shield.
I'll champion her
on life's battlefield.

I'll be her lord,
I'll be her knight.
I'll guard my lady
and the dragons smite.

STONY-U.S.A.-STATUE
Speak up, speak out.
Speak out, speak free.
No stone cold silence
Lady Liberty !

for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (F)

GETTING-FAT-ON-FAR-AWAY-DREAMS-
WITH-A-SANDY-HOT-GIRL
You piggy-back rode me across the sands,
your long-legs, pretty-girl, in my hands.
We gorged and got sick on icecreams,
and now I pig-out on such past-dreams.

THE JUNKIE
EX-G.I.-JOE IS HE
Forgotten was the colour
of death and skin
when the soldier first stuck
the dire needle in.

A-DUO'S-DISTANT-DIRECTION?
The Draughtman's Contract,
Prospero's Papers;
Peter Greenaway's
eccentric capers.
He and Ken Russell
far-out film-makers.

for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (E)

YES-VIRGIN-SOLDIER-
FIND-GIRL-DID-NOT
With a bayonet of steel
and not of flesh,
he'd known no girl
when he met death.
Through his pocket-Bible
and into his heart
sped the enemy's bullet,
not Cupid's love-dart.
The war was over
for the soldier brave.
It made him a man
but found him a grave.

THE LIVE-IN SIN
I'll rent a room,
you'll move in,
and some will call
our love a sin.

for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (D)

FRANKENSTEIN
I wrote you a poem,
off the top-of-my-head,
and away with you
my verse then sped
(my imagination ran away with you).
You didn't like poetry,
or so you had said.
What a monster this
to steal you from your bed,
take you where wild-flowers grew.
While birds in the trees
sang above your head,
behind the verse-lines
you then read
with the morning shining through.
Now you are back,
very-safe in bed,
my poem in your hand -
find its monstosity fled -
saying you now like poetry too.

I-HAVE-A-HANGOVER-GIRL
I can't recall your face.
The features are without hope,
while it is my mind's eye
peers down the wrong-end of a telescope.
All I have is your first name
that slipped from my tongue
when I awoke this morning
under a cloud and over-hung.
We met in a bar last night,
spent time in your bed.
I've a sickness in my stomach
and a pain inside my head.
I'd like to say it was good
but I can hardly recall a thing
other than your first name, girl.
Mine the last you'll be remembering !

for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (C)

TOO-BIG-TO-BE-A-
DODDY-DIDDY-GUY
He went for a job as a diddyman.
They said he was far too tall.
So much for equal opportunities,
sure no equality at all !

Even down on his very knees -
in his attempt to beg
for a job with Ken Dodd's show -
he was taller by a leg !

Oh what did he diddy,
oh what did he diddy-do?
He's now face-to-face with giraffes
as a keeper in a zoo !

for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (B)

A DEEP-RED-SUN'S-
SLEEPY-EYE
Pinkened are the clouds
by the sun's red-eye.
Soft and free they sail
across the crimson sky,
the sinking sun about to close
on sand-and-sea, like-a-rose.

CALL-HER-THE-DRUNKEN-
CLOWN
Talk about crazy, ah talk about crazy,
the whole episode was bananas.
The girl looked just like a zebra,
a piss-pot pony in striped pyjamas.
Drunk and down on all fours
she was giddying-up round the room
and circling a single pound coin
that she though was the glistening moon
being reflected in a watery-pool -
and not a small spilt beery-pool
there on the kitchen's lino-floor.
Oh yes she appeared a circus-fool.
And she doubless felt a circus-fool
when finally waking to the morn.
Place a dunce's-cap on her head.
See girl? Now you're a unicorn !

A-DOWN-LOW-TONE-
IT-IS
They're lowering the Tone,
oh they're lowering the Tone.
The priest in his collar
is giving a dog a bone,
and the widow in her weeds
is letting it be known -
now her husband is gone -
she'd like callers at her home.
The chap wasn't up to much,
and he's being lowered down.
Ah yes her husband Tony
is being buried in the ground.
When the funeral is over
to her house will be bound
the priest, the male-mourners,
and that sure-frisky hound !

for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (A)

TRY-HIGH-FLY-
LADYFRIEND-LET-US
I'm the minstrel, I'm the jester,
I play the poet and the fool.
I'm the tragic, I'm the comic,
I'm the wise-owl and the mule.

Spend time with me young-lady
and maybe laugh and cry.
Lie down with me young-lady,
do let's both try-fly-high.

INFINITE-FLOW-SAY-
SOME-FOLK
Alone we enter the world,
the world we exit alone.
Under us lies the cradle,
above us - later - it's the headstone.

And when it comes to later,
from our graves where then we go?
Some say Heaven, some say nowhere,
some say tomb-to-womb again we flow.

THE-DEATH-BOX-
JACKS-AND-JILLS
Have fun while you can,
there's no turning back the clocks.
Life becomes most-serious find
when you're a Jill or Jack in the box !

A-MALT-WHISKY-MARINE'S-
HIGH-SEA-WOMAN
A marinated-mariner,
he's on the malt.
Leave alone the whisky
old soak, old salt.
it's the only female till port.
There you'll find a pretty-solid-sort !

A-SHAGPILE-RUG-BUG-SURE
I'm bitten by the love-bug;
girl join me for a while.
Come over to the rug;
come lie on the shagpile !

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (G)

A-LAST-BREATH-DRAW
Sure like gunslingers in the street,
both barrels blazing Death you'll meet;
or you shall face him like a friend,
but Death will get you in THE END.

A PANTOMIME PYRATE
Lady I's a Long-John,
a Long-John-Silver ooh.
Yea lady I's a Long-John,
a Long-John just fo' you.

Girl I's a Long-John,
member of a motley-crew.
Pieces-of-eight, pieces-of-eight,
pieces-of-eight I got fo' you.

Yo ho ho and yo ho ho,
beach-brown eyes 'ave you.
Arrr lady I's a Long-John
whose eyes are ocean-blue.

Girl I's a Long-John,
come 'n' cruise wi' me.
I'll be yer sailor-boy,
you m' pretty-sailor-lady.

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (F)

THE GREEK GODDESS?
I knew her when in York,
she was from across the sea.
Aphrodite from the foam?
She wasn't all Greek to me.

The girl was a student
and an olive-beauty.
A goddess in the sun?
She wasn't all Greek to me.

Yes I knew her in York,
she was at the University.
We talked into the night.
She wasn't all Greek to me.

DANCING-TO-NATURE'S-
BLOWING-TUNE
Far from the cemented walls,
the brick and mortar of cemetries,
cast my dust on the green hills
or on grass 'tween the forest-trees.
Scatter my ashes along the shore
and let lap up the tonguing sea,
or throw them to the whistling wind,
for in tune with nature I am surely.

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (E)

IT's-A-GREAT-LORD-GOOSE'S-
DOWNFALL-YOU-WILL-SOON-FIND
They were a gaggle of geese
who gave their lord-gander no peace.
Their saucy tales went far beyond
the farmstead with its murky pond.
His harem-wives loved to compare -
and to take the lion's greater share -
with spicy talk of private-behaviour
when alone with him their emperor.
The farmstead they though he ruled.
With this thought their chicks they schooled.
But each of them was a so-silly-goose
as not to spy a wily gander on the loose
among a gaggle that was female all,
that soon male-chicks would be as tall,
and thus this harem then devide,
the lord-gander's empire to subside.
They thought that he truly loved them,
and so he had power over the harem.
They thought the farmstead he truly ruled,
were not aware that he had them fooled
claiming the farmer at his command
who came with food in his hand
to feed the gaggle and lord-gander.
Gossip will geese, no fear of slander !

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (D)

HALLOWEEN HOWLS
There is skulduggery,
there are scallywags.
There are warlocks,
crones and hags.
A ghost-pirate-ship,
there is a coven,
magic and mayhem,
webs are woven.
There's a storm whips
sea-foam into cream.
Creamy as some moons.
My oh my, it's Halloween.

THE TIME WAS
There was a time
I might have said
"Pack your bags girl,"
and we'd have fled
like types of swan
to a warmer clime.
There was a time,
ah there was a time.

There was a time
 not low my means
we'd have bid farewell
to local ponds and streams,
like types of swan
to British wintertime.
There was a time,
ah there was a time.

There was a time
when I'd have found
that to some other
you were not bound.
Like types of swan
from here we'd fly.
There was a time
to touch the sky.

CONCRETE-CITIZEN-ON-
THE-OTHERSIDE
She lived her life
only for the discoteheques,
the drink, the drugs
and for sex, sex, sex.
She's crossed over the big-city street
to lie beneath a headstone of concrete.

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (C)

THE GREAT BIRD
The White Bird
shines like a star
down on Ormond St
from up-afar.
Nurse Wendies aid
hospital mites.
Oh Peter Pan be
their Xmas light.

BOTH BOUND
The girl slips the ring
past her fingertip.
Find she now owns him.
Her man, too, has ownership.
She owns him and he her.
May it not bind them to despair.

A DIZZY-WORLD
History repeats itself,
human nature seldom changes.
The world is a spinning wheel
no direction rearranges.

A-LIST'S-END-LINE
There are 'isms' and 'ists',
the capitalists and communists,
the sadists and masochists
and more that make the list
that ends with the 'cut-wrists'.

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (B)

A-MIDAS-LIKE-MAN'S-CARESS?
Might he just have the Midas touch?
A griffon now guards her heart of pure-gold.
Maybe she loves the man overmuch?
Let not the Cyclops or the Gorgon behold.
They've an eye ruinous to life-and-beauty.
Let not the Furies glimpse her peace.
Fiery-tempers and a tempting duty
to jealous gods may their works release.

MASK-MAKER
"Write a poem for me," she asked,
and I did so, though it is masked.
The girl is in disguise.
"Write a poem for me," she said,
"then I'll know that I am read
by men with depth behind their eyes."

A-FOOL'S-CAP-OR-THE-WIZARD'S-HAT?
She could not believe the age of me
and thought I was the vanished Doctor Dee
or surely some wizard at longevity !
Though she may have been a sorceress
using magic words just to impress
a perfect fool. The girl did, I guess !

THE PIRATE'S-PISTOL-PLEASURE !
Captured am I, lady, in your cove,
and by the pleasure of your treasure-trove !
The richness of your love-making
leaves me a pirate for the taking.
Take me, take me, take me do Madame,
at your service I most surely am !

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (A)

A KISS-QUICKLY-GIRL GOES
She'd Cupid-bow-lips
and my own they hit
after coming so arrow-swift.
The girl-archer is gone,
quick was the wet-kiss.

THE-HOTLY-BEDDED-DUO
The girl was a red-hot devil
who'd bring you down to her level
which was all well for a time.
But when her passion's flames
went beyond her bedroom games
up-and-out was sure divine !

ONEANOTHER
And so it is
we two connect
together girl
to the effect
we are one,
and although
we are one
the other also.

FIND-A-HIGH-AND-
HANDY-FEW
It's a handful
of helping hands
help themselves
to our England.

Throw up your hands
in total-despait.
The privileged few
get just everywhere.

A-PATTAYA-CITY'S-
POKY-SOI-COWBOYS?
There are cowpokes on the sois
out for bar-girls or the ladyboys
who are found to give loud voice.
White-waves the horses on the brine -
sent by Poseidon with his trine -
brought Sirens to the Pattaya land line?

for PATTAYA TRADER 165 (G)

THE-OVER-HEAVY-EARTH?
Can a caterpillar be called a butterfly?
Can a tadpole be called a toad?
Can even a foetus be called a child?
Should the earth we humans overload ?

for PATTAYA TRADER 165 (F)

ONE,TWO-AND-THREE-
WE'RE-AWAY !
Love at first sight?
Would that it were.
It took a whole-night
to fall for her.
To fall not fully,
say only a third.
Soft were the sighs
that could be heard.
On the second floor
of a hotel in Pattaya.
Yes on the second floor,
we floating up higher !

FOR FAAH
Twin peaks, girl, you and I,
beneath a royal-purple sky.
On sea-turtles of the turquoise-tide,
then on dolphins do our spirits ride.

Twin peaks, girl, you and I,
under a now night-black sky.
Longer than a white-elephant's memory
may we glisten like stars in eternity.

THE-CONSTABLE'S-
HELMET-CHARGE !
Angry Ted, ah angry Ted,
went the anger to the guy's head.
He ran around the streets, the houses,
took a red-flag from his trousers,
waved it in public. A PC surged,
like a bull to a red-rag he charged.
With his helmet he Red Ted butted.
With the PC was Red Ted besotted !
He couldn't sit down for over a week,
the redness in all four cheeks !!

for PATTAYA TRADER 165 (E)

CONCRETE-EVERY-CORNER-VERSE
Concrete-over the countryside,
and leave the globe cemented?
Who will stem the rising tide
of madding crowds, or of crowds demented?
Small towns into huge cities grow
as new lives into the world fast-flow.

GET-MEASURE-FOR-MEASURE-
GIRLFRIEND
"How much do you love me?
I really want to know !"
She didn't ask, she demanded,
I answered "Oh blow,
I love you eight-inches girl.
I'm a braggart, doesn't it show?!"

for PATTAYA TRADER 165 (D)

BUNS-AND-BABS
Hot cakes ! Hot cakes !
Men love the girl's home-bakes !
The queen of hearts
is no guy's cool tart.
Her babs and buns
give wag to their tongues.
Hot cakes ! Hot cakes !
Men love the girl's home-bakes !

for PATTAYA TRADER 165 (C)

A-CAPITALIST-COUNTRY-CAP
There are those who merit
and find those who inherit.
There are those who tarry
and find those who carry
the work-idle and the "Won't-do-it."
There are crooks. There's the capitalistic-chap
for whom capitalism should have a cap.

for PATTAYA TRADER 165 (B)

THE-RESTRICTED-AND-THE-
CONTRADICTED?
"There is not enough love
in the world" you say,
while hating all governments
on the earth today.

The love you share
reveals a restriction?
Or the hate you declare
suggests a contradiction?

for PATTAYA TRADER 165 (A)

AN-OVERALL-VIEW?
I found myself in London
and over in Paris too.
I found myself in Amsterdam,
now I've found myself with you.
From the heart of the cities
into the heart of you,
who are my neon-lights
and my Pattaya City view?

DAMING-A-TYRANNY'S-TOIL
The right to work
and not to play,
the Slave States find,
for which "Do as I say"
is the despots' order
of the life-long day.

WORN DOWN !
I met a bar-girl
I found rather young
yet round my neck
both her arms clung.

I took her back
to my Pattaya hotel
where South-Eastern stars
cast down their spell.

Turned out a Siren
the young Thai-lady
and I the Old Man
of the Sea !

YES-TO-THE-LITTLE-BAR-
LADIES-THIS-HERE-TOAST
It is upon the wind
some smell fortune, money;
as does the worker-bee
smell nectar, future honey.
And led by the wind
a good many Thai-girls' noses
to busy about in city-bars.
Here's to the wild dark-red roses !

for PATTAYA TRADER 164 (H)

S & M ?
To try love an enemy
who tries to love you not,
where can it land you,
unless masochism's your lot?!

CLOUD-CUCKOO-LAND-DUO
Do think me nutty
and fruity too.
We will bed together girl
and sing "Cuckoo !"

THE-BONEHEAD-BENITO'S-
BARK
Benito, Benito,
small-dog, big-bark,
much-like Mussolini
damn-fascist-patriarch.

Benito, Benito,
you sure tiny pup,
you'll be no bigger
when you have grown-up !

for PATTAYA TRADER 164 (G)

MEAT AND VEG
Hitler was vegetarian.
He didn't drink.
You are what you eat?
It makes you think.

Stalin ate meat,
drank wine it is said.
Meat and wine,
bet both were 'red' !

BEAUTY-GOES-BY-
SO-QUICKLY-GIRL
Such beauty as yours
can take you very-far,
and take you quick,
like a shooting star.

But like a shooting star
will fade fast from view,
so it is, lovely girl,
goes beauty very-fast too.

for PATTAYA TRADER 164 (F)

SECOND-SIGHTED-THEN-WAS-I
It was love at first psych.
I saw your mind
and read your thoughts
as if outside of time.
It was love at first psych,
or so I had thought.
I saw your mind;
the unkind heart latterly-caught.

UNSTRAPPED-AND-UNDRESSED
Straps slip from each shoulder.
My arms ache to enfold her.
I want to always hold her.
Her dress slips to the floor.

The shiny moon behind her,
her beauty is a blinder.
I'll take her as I find her,
by the window beside the door.

A-BEDROOM-BALLERINA-
MINE-BE
Be my ballerina,
be my lady swan;
the bedroom your arena,
the bedroom your pond.
Yes be my ballerina,
be my lady swan.
Spread your wings, soar me higher
into, girl, a blue beyond.

A-SAVAGE-VERSE-POEM-
SATIRIST-PAIR
Now there was Swift
with his literary gift.
There was Pope as well
who was greatly-satirical.
One named after a bird,
one after a bishop-of-Rome.
Versifiers-of-the-savage-word.
Deviling-clergyman and hunched-gnome !

(The swift was known as a deviling)

for PATTAYA TRADER 164 (E)

SO-DEAR-GIRL'S-GOLD-LIE
You wouldn't look me in the eye
as if, girl, you were much too shy.
Your shiny windows to the soul
were tuned from me, now I know
your soul you didn't wish to bare
to one whose so insightful stare
could only a gilded lie detect.
Your eyes with mine did not connect.

THE SEX-PARTY GIRLS
The girls held a party -
there were no boys -
with a catalogue lady
selling sexy clothes, toys,
Ken Dodd tickling-sticks,
bondage paraphernalia,
all the stuff with which
a good-girl's not familiar.
Naughty girls, naughty girls,
looking for a spanked bott.
My guess, they'll get one.
Wow, what a kinky lot !

'E' FOLLOWS 'I' ?
'I' before 'E'
except after 'C'.
Y'know, that sounds
really wEIrd to me !

(CORRECTION: I should have thief and thieves in TRUTH-AND-HONESTY )

for PATTAYA TRADER 164 (D)

TRUTH-AND-HONESTY
Not even a liar likes a liar,
still a world of lies spins on.
If it takes a theif to catch a theif
then we all are in the damn-wrong.
The latter I do not believe,
it's a world of lies calls us all theives.

THE WORDY-WORLD-OF-
MY-VERSE-MUSE
To win your hand
would have been to bruise
a time of knowing
when to lose.
Lovers now gone
showed their jealousy
just over how much
she has meant to me,
that otherworldly-Muse...
the Muse of Poetry.

for PATTAYA TRADER 164 (C)

IT'S-THE-DEVOURING-DEMONISH-
MORTICIA-MINE-VERSE-OH-YES !
The girl looked to me
like an Ozzy Osbourne groupie,
or Gomez's bit-of-stuff
in The Addams Family
(or Lili in The Munsters,
those diabolical-funsters).
Damn delicious, aahhhh,
was my devilish-Morticia !

for PATTAYA TRADER 164 (B)

CLIMBING-SPIRITS-WE-WELL-MET-
KINDRED-PAIR
Two spirits on an upward climb.
Your arms around me, around you mine.
On our meeting lips the heavenly wine
trickling from the goblet of some divine;
from the goblet of some god or goddess
astride a winged-white-horse in harness,
or in a chariot by eagles drawn
across the sky of a crimson dawn.
Ah yes two spirits on the up,
heady on the wine from a divinity's cup !

LINES-FOR-SIAMESE-
LADYFRIEND-LEE
Ah my dear Lee,
on the darksome sea
a tiny candled boat
we there set afloat
for Water-Lady.

Ah my dear Lee,
may Lady-of-the-sea,
lake, river. spring,
here in the darkling
bless the memory.

for PATTAYA TRADER 164 (A)

TREASURE CHEST
The bathing-suited are on the beach
and the bikini'd-girl looks a peach.
Sand 'tween my toes, gone unshoed,
by she and the sun I'm barbecued.
Treasure tumble into my arms,
lay your head on my chest 'neath the palms !

A BURLESQUE BEAUTY
The Beauty at the Burlesque
sure tickled with her fancy-feathers
many a bachelor's heart
and wedded-man's, under-the-weather;
for she was the kind of a bird
with whom to fly above the world.

for PATTAYA TRADER 163 (F)

PORT-PATTAYA-SEA-LIFE
I was just sailing solo.
The girl wore naught but a halo
that soon would turn to horns.
She was a siren to be
for this sailor on a sea
of many ports and many storms.
Find she was my undoing,
the virgin-girl was my ruin.
The young-lover sank ageing me !

SHARK-WORLD
Tell sons, warn daughters,
we share deadly-waters.
Sharks are out for the kill,
sinking-baht-and-dollar-bill.
Rising, find, the slaughter.

THE HUMANE?
Foxes in London's suburbs,
monkeys in Phetchaburi.
Forests and jungles fall
to make way for humanity !?

LAUGHING-WITH-AND-NOT-
DAMN-OFTEN-AT-LIFE-YOU-WILL-FIND
When I am rude
it is often in jest.
Just to laugh with life
is surely the very-best.

But not to mock
this life I share
with friends-and-lovers
who've made me swear !

for PATTAYA TRADER 163 (E)

UNDER-THE-THUMB-DUO-YES
Playing doctor and nurse
on a surgery couch
that is imaginery,
no cries of "Ouch"
escape from our lips,
under a thumb-pressure analysis?

YES-DEED-SEEDS-
RETURN-TO-YOU
Thought, word and deed
were the actions that would lead
you. See, girl, where they've led.
See the cruel-seeds you've shed.
The flowering of your thoughts indeed
like nightshade have left me dead.
Ah you'll bloom in your spring,
but dark-winter shall be your withering !

YES-THE-GROWN-UP-SCHOOLGIRL'S-
GOT-BLACK-MARKS
She'd been lost among the minions
of the Hellcats at St. Trinian's
or a school like it I am sure.
The girl has found her wicked way
into the adulthood of today;
adulthood of the sexually-mature.
Tigers don't change their stripes;
leopards don't change their spots;
Hellcats don't change their lives,
they're full of evil plans and plots !

for PATTAYA TRADER 163 (D)

NOT-HOT-ENOUGH-
FOR-HER-FIND
She doesn't like sex.
I caught her with a book.
She and a female friend
were taking a sneaky-look
at an erotic-page of print,
the next page and the next.
"It's not that hot," she said,
"I don't like sex."

A-COOL-THAI-GIRL-LICKED-
THE-RUDE-ICES-GUY
The icecream man
was a face-to-face lout.
He said "Your knockers
are a big knockout !"

The icecream man
was live and kicking
till the girl kick-boxer
gave him a Thai-licking !

EASY-ACCESS-IS-HER-
HIGHNESS'S-REAR-EXIT
Lady Lowbottom lives
down on Avarice Avenue.
Knock upon her door,
find it is number two.
But on her back-door, if you please.
There sycophants enter with ease !

QUARTERING-A-
CAPITALISTIC-PARTY-CAKE?
A card-carrying communist
was talking about humanity
and asked socialists, rebels, anarchists,
to come together, form a unity,
as if all the four were one?
End capitalism, quarter the United Kingdom?

for PATTAYA TRADER 163 (G)

TALL TALES
As small children we
were like giants then,
the whole world was ours,
just a fairy glen.

And down on the beach
by the old smuggler's cave
we ruled the mighty seas
like pirates bold and brave.

But now we have grown
and gone our seperate ways,
real-life bandits and ogres
rule all our days.

We find the world's not ours,
nor yet are the cruel seas,
but who is it will tell
their own small children these?

for PATTAYA TRADER 163 (B)

ENGLISH TONGUE
To touch your heart,
for I've a care
to run my fingers
through your hair.

To brush your lips
with my own lips,
to part your lips
and then tongue-kiss.

You say Thai-men
do not kiss so.
Thai-lady my tongue
is English, y'know !

DIAGNOSIS: A DREAMER
The doctors say I've got it bad,
the nurses cry "How sad, how sad,
he's a romantic, that is for sure,
draw the blind, there is no cure."

My head upon the pillow I lie,
of this disease I am bound to die,
don't bring me fruit or the latest news,
let me wallow in my love-struck blues.

"Who was it did this?" people ask,
as the nurse applies the oxygen mask,
and though my life I'll one day lose,
I will forever love the poets' Muse.

for PATTAYA TRADER 163 (A)

WHEN-IT'S-RUDE-TO-SPEAK-
WITH-A-MOUTHFUL-OF-WORDS
You speak now only
because you are afraid
of a silence that is
as quiet as the grave.
No, cosmic contemplation
sure is not - girl - for you,
bound to this noisy-sphere
that is found a human zoo.

MEETING-OF-TWO-VICIOUSLY-
RAKISH-EXTREMES
If Sade had said to Masoch
"You're such a strange bloke.
I'll take up my whip
and give you a stroke,"
might Masoch have replied
"you and I can agree,
but you prefer reluctant women.
Find you will only pleasure me !" ?

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (H)

THE-NONSENSICAL-OLD-RHYMES?
The power of words
is very-much on show
in the nursery rhymes
we sure came to know
and that stick with us
as the older we grow.
Yes there's power in words
that we can go spew,
and the longevity, perhaps,
of aged nonsense too !

PRETTY-WILY-WEEDS-MIDST-
A-CANNY-SPRINKLING?
Some weeds sport a flower,
yes some weeds sport a bloom,
like a sun in a summer-shower,
hoping the gardener shall give room.

NOT BAD, BUT GOOD?
There's the good,
there's the bad,
the indifferent too.
The positive,
the negative etc,
which of the three are you?

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (G)

IT'S-THE-FIRST-TONGUE-OF-FIRE-
GIRL-OH-YES
A fire in your belly
leaps and licks your lips
with its own tongue.
Your lips now burn, girlie;
yes they burn to kiss
the boy you find is the one.

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (F)

RULE THE WORLD?
The hand that rocks the cradle
says "Ga-ga coochie-choo.
Have another suck on my nipple
and grow to be a big titty too !"

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (E)

ALL I REALLY NEED
Three meals a day.
That's what I said.
Give me a girl too
and a sturdy bed !
Top it off with
a roof over my head.

IS-IT-LIVINGSTONE-AND-CARR-
BY-MONEY-ARE-DRIVEN?
An alternative comedian Jimmy Carr?
He's as alternative as Red Ken !
Carr and Livingstone have tax-dodged.
Capitalists are the two of them !

DEVIL-RED DOUBLE-TALK VERSE
Don't speak of sisters and brothers
when you'd make some more equal than others.
Your communist party's not on the level.
It's a cunning underworld devil !

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (D)

AN EVOLUTIONARY VERSE
Come the 'Evolution'.
Better 'Head' than dead.
Cosmic-consciousness,
universal-harmony it's said.

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (C)

PARADOX
Why do I write
and my QUICK-words display?
Perhaps it is I have
MORE than some to say?
QUIET man
that I am !

YES-FAT-PUPPETS-ON-
THE-CHAIN-FIND
Fast-foods for slow-thought
cause indigestion of the brain.
Don't be a right-mindless puppet
on a fatty-fast-foods chain.

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (B)

ON-BOARD-ROCKERS'-CASH-
IS-OFFSHORE-SURE-FIND
Rock 'n' rollers sell we fans dreams.
They like the fame, the drugs and girls.
The record-industry is a big-ship
in a shallow money-grubbing world.

Some sing of revolution and anarchy
but keep their cash in banks off our shore.
Of course, I can't speak for them all,
yet it's very capitalistic, that is for sure.

SURE-STANDING-OUT-IN-A-
CROWDED-INSTITUTION
I'd very long-hair
and wore denims blue.
That wasn't good enough
for the teachers at school.

Now I'm a teacher
my fellows all cry
"Why is it you wear
a suit and even a tie?!"

NOT-SINGLED-OUT-TO-LOOK-
THE-RIGHT-MICKY-DOUGLAS !
The title of the film
do I now forget,
starring Jack Nicholson
and Ann Margaret.
It was about carnal knowledge
(all the sex you can get).
It's what I wanted back then,
and I have no regret
that I got it. Oh boy, oh yes,
it has been no spoiler
as with a Michael Douglas
and his Glen Close pet-bunny-boiler !

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (A)

CONDOM DON
I think that it is damn-silly
for John-Thomas, Dick and Willy
just never to use a condom.
It is clever, find, to don one.

THE-RED-LANTERN-LIGHT-LADY
The lady of the lantern's red light
slays the Western dragon in its flight.
Hers is the light of blue love,
but she a softly-cooing dove.
Soothes she with mystical charms
they who lie in this lady's arms.
Men go their eyes to feast
on this woman of the Far-South-East.

COST-FREE PEACE
Find freedom I'd not sacrifice
for the slavery of peace-at-any-price.

A-LYING-DOWN-LADY-DANCER
To the needle in the groove
how the lady likes to move.
Ah the needle in the groove,
the music of making love.
Not the needle of the record-deck,
nor the needle of the junkie-wreck.

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (J)

THE LADYLIKE-BOYS-SEEK-ATTENTION-
IN-SUNSHINE-CITY
You don't need the third
all-seeing eye
for the third-sex
found here to spy.
That is what they call
the loud ladyboys
who in many bars
make a big noise.
Each to his own?
How this perplexes.
I've seen them with
the two opposite sexes !

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (I)

A GINNY-GRIN
She was old and ugly.
Yes as ugly as sin.
Empty bottle in her cold-hand
and a toothless grin.

She was old and ugly,
on a booze-soaked-bed.
Empty bottle in her cold-hand.
Not dead drunk, just dead.

BOBTAIL BOBBIT
There was a guy called Bobbit
who'd been going like a rabbit
with someone other than his wife.
The wife cured him of his habit
by cutting off his tail-bit ...
with a bunny-skinning knife?

TIFFANY-THE-TIGHTROPE-WALKER
Tiffany is a high-wire act,
her skirt is a silk-parachute.
When she sails to the ground
the waves of applause are accute.
There is no holding them back
(her ancestor was King Canute).
Yes when she sails to the ground,
having fallen from the high-wire
(which is very often find),
the male audience spies no under-attire !

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (H)

NAUGHTY-NYMPHO
She'll be really-bad
for her sugar-dad
with his white candy-floss-hair.
Both are being had.

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (G)

TYPES-AND-ALIKES
Geordie chap
Andy Cap
and his missus, Flo.
Not all the likes
and stereotypes
hang up their hats, y'know.

PATTAY-LADYBOY
Is she running from poverty
or here to get rich quick?
Maybe it's to earn money
to feed a bad drug-habit?
She sports several tatoos
but looks to you real slick.
Better watch-out young fella,
I hear she's got a big-dick !

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (F)

DICTATING-A-DIET-TO-LOOK-
SHAPELY-FASHINABLE-FIND
The people all eat little
for the state has big-money spent
on spiralling architecture.
Brick, steel, concrete and cement.
The ruler is so hungry for style.
It's a half-starve-the-populace government.

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (E)

WEIGHTY-REACTION-WAITS-IN-
THE-THEATRE-OF-ACTION'S-WINGS
Follow in the Buddha's footsteps
to where his spirit had set
having first risen in India.
Now Red China is in Tibet.
Yes Red China is in Tibet
his philosophy there to stamp-out
with their booted-footprints.
Thus does heavy-karma come about.

PARTNERS
Part-time love?
Is it so bad
when full-time love
can not be had?

A-RED-RUSSIAN'S-SHARP-REPLY
"No criminals in Russia,"
the communist soldier had said.
That is surely because they sent them
to colder Siberia instead !

SEVERELY-SEVERED
"Find no criminals here,"
the religion's leader had said.
Well it is hard to kill or steal
missing hands, arms, feet or legs !

POSTCARD-FROM-THE-
FAIRWEATHERED-PATTAYA-SEASCAPE
I'm surrounded by Thai girls
before an oceanic view.
The sandy sun and beach of dun
now the evening has closer drew.
Yes I've surrounded myself with beauty,
as you know poets are wont to do.

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (D)

MAKE-NO-CLEAR-SONG-AND-
DANCE-ABOUT-BULLDOZERS
In a country where
they bulldoze the homes
of their own people
to make a host-zone
for the singers from
many other proud-nations
to sing in a Eurovision
Contest stadium,
everyone is brought down
to the very-level
of dirt and dust,
of grit and gravel.
Only the contest-singers
may sound-out vocal,
and merely about love.
Kept quiet are the locals.

COME UNSTUCK?
Yes you knob,
you penis point,
head hung low,
did she disappoint?

Did the girl
give you no rise?
It's she likes
less stuck-up guys.

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (C)

WHY-GIRLS-GET-THE-HUMP?
The Arab said he'd swop a camel
for the English-guy's girlfriend.
It had two humps in the wrong place,
and to bed a camel's surely the world's end !!
Two humps on a female-camel.
Yes you'll find I'm being very rude.
Fathers give away daughters at the altar
in Britain. No swops. Are they devalued?!

THE RESPONSIBLE-CHOICE-POEM
You say no man is born evil.
Because a helpless babe sure hurts not?
What about a latent seed-of-evil
from a previous life that had gone to pot?
Somebody from a good background
has grown-up to be bad.
Somebody from a bad background
has grown-up to be good.
We can't give all the blame to society.
We each have a choice and responsibility.

THE CHEF WORD
Is it Gordon Ramsey
or is it Ramsbottom?
To the end of the gin bottle
has the cooking guy gotten?
Every other word is "eff".
A television series
about a gin-soaked chef ?!

THE WRONG-WINDOW-VIEW
They said she was asking for it,
being out alone at night
in a micro-mini-skirt
and a sweater way-too-tight.
They say that she deserved it,
the rapist she was to over-excite.
But leaving a window open
on a very hot summery night
is an invitation to a burglar,
though it doesn't put the guy in the right !

WHERE? (repeat)

This is the original lyric I sent plasterer-rapper Zipparah (Zippy) Tafari when he advertised for a suitable lyric for the Britain's Got Talent show on Facebook. I was teaching English in Thailand at the time. It's derived from two much older (naughtier) lyrics of mine. He said he wanted to enter the show as he wasn't getting any younger.

WHERE?
Where'd I put my door-key?
Where'd I put my cellphone?
Where'd I put my car-keys?
Where'd I put them down?
This must happen to everyone
(even the Queen)

I went out Saturday night
and ended up in a fight
Lost my cellphone and my keys
Where did I put down these?

(Rpt. all 3 x)

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (B)

GROUCHO'S GROG
The barman looked like Groucho Marx
but with his glassy eyes popping out on springs,
and his bow-tie span round and round
like a propellor, which now brings
me to his hair. It stood up on end,
or what was left of it, my friend.
Yes he surely was a damn funny sight,
yet I'd a lot to drink that night !

ON-LOVING-ENEMIES-AND-
A-LIKEABLE-GIRL
Yes I liked her, didn't love her.
Find she could not deal with that.
If you can't love what you like
an enemy's chances are damn-fat !

THE-FIXED-FIGHT-HERO
On go the boxers' gloves,
the first bell is then to sound.
Both men make a real mean face
and start to shove each other around.

One of them lashes out wild
and strikes his foe right in the teeth.
The battle is now underway,
to the winner the laurel, to the loser the wreath.

There are punches in the belly
and blows dealt to the chin.
Jabs that will blacken the eye
and dirty digs to bruise the opponent's skin.

In trying to knock the other half-dead
the crowd seems to come more alive.
Some might say it's just blood-money,
but the loser's been paid to take a dive.

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (A)

THE-DIZZY-DRINK-DRY-DAY
The tiny pink-fairy-elephants
fly around the wishing well.
But there is no water to drink
because of a long hot-spell.

Yes the only wishing well
has been sun-baked, sun-dried.
There's not yet one raindrop
and fine-chance of a rainbow wide.

The tiny pink-fairy-elephants
are most surely out of place.
Bring on the flying camels
while after after-a-further-beer I thirstily chase !

A-COOP'S-PECKING-
ORDER-COCK
Ah, pretty soon
the dawn shall crack
as will the eggs
in the chicken shack.
To the yellow chicks
the rounded sun -
yellow as yolk
above the run -
shall be the god
for the priest-cock's praise,
he their feathery father
in two ways.

TORPEDO-TYPE-DREAMS
People were to call the man the captain
for he sailed upon the ocean wide and deep
where he was made a hero of the war,
though at home in peace-time he could not sleep.
Bad dreams were to return and haunt this man
like torpedoes from out of the sea so vast and blue,
while his frightened wife had long left him
and taken their very small children too.
But then old habits, as we know, die hard,
now and again he'd shout "All hands on deck."
He made a rope-noose round like a porthole,
later to be found hung with a broken neck.

A HEROIC MAILMAN
Hey Bukowski,
are you the hero Chinaski
of the P.O. ?
P.S. I do think so.

A SUGAR DADDY'S NAUGHTY GIRL
The hair on the man's head is very much like candy-floss,
while he is sugary-sweet as his blonde girlfriend's dad.
But she will craftily call him her handsome lover-boy,
and for his money the brassy girl shall be ever so bad.

WHERE?

The following lyric I sent BGT's Zapparah Tafari via Facebook, when teaching in Thailand, almost a year ago. Made up from two much older lyrics of mine. Zapparah adverised on Facebook asking for a lyric suitable for Britain's Got Talent, as he wanted to enter the show, implying he wasn't getting any younger. He has apperently altered it a little. This is what I sent him:

WHERE?
Where'd I put my door-key?
Where'd I put my cellphone?
Where'd I put my car-keys?
Where'd I put them down?
This must happen to everyone
(even the Queen)

I went out Saturday night
and ended up in a fight
Lost my cellphone and my keys
Where'd I put down these?

(Repeat all 3x)    Captain Mark's email: mark_thai2007@hotmail.com

for PATTAYA TRADER 160 (F)

COCKBIRD-COGBURN-
OR-COCKBURN?
Rooster Cogburn?
No it's not, by Cock !
Roosters are fowls,
don't you cop?
It's Cockburn, Cockburn,
oh by Jeeves-and-Wooster !
Cockburn his surname,
nickname Rooster.

for PATTAYA TRADER 160 (E)

A-FAST-FOOT-FEMALE
Look but do not touch,
or the showgirl will kick-box.
Place your hand on her rear,
she'll thrust her foot in your crotch.
If the message you don't get
her pretty foot you will, you bet !

for PATTAYA TRADER 160 (D)

THE-EXEMPLARY-ELEPHANT-MAN
They liked to mock the freaks
in Queen Victoria's day.
The victims were on show,
their deformities to display.
The Elephant Boy grew to man
more-learned in his way
than his Victorian mockers
who should've had hell to pay.
The man no longer with us
sits with the god-Elephantus?

HER-MAIDENHEAD-
AND-MEMORY-YES
Wherever is her cellphone?
Wherever are her keys?
Where'd she place her panties?
Can't find any of these.
If not fixed-on, she would lose her head.
Today she lost her virginity instead.

for PATTAYA TRADER 160 (C)

A-MINOTAUR'S-MAZE-
IT-IS
You are leaves of grass
on which he comes to graze,
and girl you are lost
as in a bullman's maze.
He eats your body with his eyes,
drinks-your-dove-coos-and-your-sighs.

THE-HUGE-STEAM-ENGINE
We are just cogs
in a huge-machine
that is surely running
quick out of steam.
Going round in circles,
getting nowhere.
Spluttering to a halt,
poisoning the air.

for PATTAYA TRADER 160 (B)

FAIRY-FOOD-FOR-THOUGHT
"Thank you for calling
but I'm not home,
though I stand here
in flesh and bone.
I am out to lunch
as you must see,
away with the fairies
accompanying me.
So thank you again
but I'm not here,
my vacant stare
surely makes that clear."
She shuts the door
in her doctor's face.
Given up on people,
Fairyland she'll grace.

LANA TURNER
Turn round the name 'Lana',
you get 'Alan' and 'anal'.
She gave birth to Kathleen.
To call her male I shall
be saying something absurd,
so these lines are banal !

A-RAILWAY-STATION'S-
CROSS-DRESSING-QUEEN
His hair is long, his nails are clean.
He likes to pose and loves to preen.
They call him the King's Cross queen.
He'll offer every guy a fag,
ask them if their life's a drag.
Thinks he has them in the bag.
His lines are full of expectation,
but not of a train coming to the station !

for PATTAYA TRADER 160 (A)

ANXIOUS-AGEING-ACTRESS-SHE
She's there on Sunset Boulevard
and awaiting the night-time stars.
The young men in fast motorcars
for her, find, no longer slow.
She'd caught the film-camera's eye
and those of youths she strolled-by,
but now it is she gives a sigh:
"Starry-eyes come see this show."

DEAD-OLD-MEAT-WAS-A-MAN
Sandwhiched 'tween two matresses,
find the keen-as-mustard cold
still left the man dead meat.
Ah yes, he sure was old.

PUPPET-ON-A-STRING
How he used lady Ling.
Just his dancing puppet
with a G-string.

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (G)

THE-PASSING-NIGHT-SHIPS?
You on one side
and I on the other,
going in opposite directions.
Each in search of a lover?
There's an irony that is bitter-sweet
when boy and girl pass on the street:
ships in the night never to meet.

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (F)

A-PARTY-POLITICS-POEM
Politics is a loopy loop.
Call me the out-looper.
Can't wave a flag for anyone.
I'm no follow-the-leader trooper.
I try to point to a better way
by being a political party pooper !

THE-FAIRY-GREEN-FROG-PRINCES-
PERHAPS-NOT
She chose her cheese at the dairy.
Ate it with absinthe, saw the green fairy.
Gobbling cheese and drinking grog
can get a girl to kiss many an ugly frog !

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (E)

A-MATTERY-WORLD'S-
REBEL-SPIRITS
The free spirit
is a rebel born.
Not to any conventions
does he conform.

The very idea sure
does a slave betray,
on the planet earth
with its material way.

THE WISE-WOLF-OWLS?
The wild wolf in the wood
has a face like the owl.
Gold-moon on white-snow.
A hoot or a growl?
Both a beast-and-wise-bird-of-prey.
So an owling-wolf? Does it bay?

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (D)

CROW-DED?
Find two crows perch.
The close-pair are united.
Ovehead another hovers,
on their branch soon alighted.
"Oh for crowing out loud,
don't you know three is a crow - d !!"

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (C)

THE-HAPPY-MEDIUM?
"Live your life in moderation,"
said the lady-spiritualist,
as gathered round her the congregation,
"you can't go wrong by this."

MEET-WILL-DUO'S-TWO-
SOULLESS-ENDS
He's a militant socialist,
though he does play the Lottery.
He envies the big-capitalist.
So-selfish find, and damn-greedy,
like the boss for whom he slaves.
Both will be equal in their graves.

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (B)

CITY-CENTRE-CITIZENS
A busker in the subway.
A drug-pusher too.
Above, in cold light of day,
no traffic stops for you.
Along her ladyship strolls
in a coat of mink.
She climbs into a Rolls
and it makes you think
of the beggar who is blind;
penniless and unable to see
the posh-lady on your mind.
A woman of such luxury.
Blind to the priest too -
like him on bended knees -
praying for the prostitute
and confessing to impure deeds.
A roof-top sniper fires.
An assassin he's now become.
A foreign diplomat falls.
City shoppers sure do run.

CONTACT THE CAPTAIN (POET OF PATTAYA)

Email: mark_thai2007@hotmail.com (mark_thai)
Captain Mark (Beevers) Is also a Teacher of English as a Foreign Language
was born 29/1/55 in England (Aquarius)
Has lived in Saltburn, York, Bangkok, Pattaya, Middlesbrough.
Verses published monthly in Pattaya Trader.com
PATTAYA TRADER'S POET'S CORNER (page number varies)

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (A)

SOLD-DOWN-THE-RIVER-
BY-THE-PRESIDENTAL-PAIR-
FOR-SURE?
When a black man comes to power
things will change for ever.
The world will be much better.
Or when a woman comes to power
things will change for ever.
The world will be much better.
This was the promise of the past.
Now a black male pres and lady vice
are both in the White House
and there is no change in price.

for PATTAYA TRADER 158 (G)

THE-PRIVATE-DETECTIVE-IN-
A-NOW-FAR-OFF-PATTAYA
Once upon a time in Pattaya
there was a Private Dick
who was hired by a farang
to tail his girlfriend Lek.
He followed her to where
two suspect guys she met -
a Tom and a Harry named -
at the bar called The Candlewick.
The bar-girls there burned
the candle at both ends.
She spent the entire night
with her two suspect friends.
Now, all the minor gods
from the fields and forests around
would tell you that the city
had sinful sights and sounds.
And it is not a fairy story
Pattaya's a fantasy for grown men,
or that those who come here
do so again and then again.

SIAMESE-MOSQUITOS-AND-
WHIRLWIND-ROMANCE?
Young land of the free,
offspring of old-Siam.
Thailand hits like a tsunami.
Pattaya's palms, sea and sand.
Here girls swarm like flies,
come from far and wide.
Bangkok and Chiang Mai,
and from the countryside.
Come to Pattaya and Jomtien
their fortunes out to seek.
Many to find a wealthy man
or work in bars on every street.
Some are long-legged mosquitos
who blood wish to drain.
Some are romantic-tornadoes.
You'll never foot the ground again.

for PATTAYA TRADER 158 (F)

FILIPINO-FEMALES-BY-
THE-BUSFUL
A coachload of Filipinos,
my fellow-teacher-pal and me,
headed out of Siam's Bangkok.
White-water-rafting went we.
Yes a coachload of females,
my fellow-teacher-pal and me,
went shooting the rapids.
How my heart raced-rapidly !

CHEAT-SURE-CAUGHT-
ON-A-CAMERA
The camera never lies
but the jealous-girl behind it can.
She arranged the scenario
and her game went as to plan.
Seek and you shall find,
and everyone found there
everything but damn-suspicion
in themselves or even her.

YES-THE-THAI-
KICK-BOXER-BEAUTY
Some men love to watch,
but some men want to touch.
If the showgirl doesn't like it
then a kick in his crutch
is sure going to be the cure.
Keep yopur hands to yourself
or feel her foot for sure !

BROWN-EYED-BEAUTY
She has nut-brown eyes.
Her name I'll disguise.
Hazel I'll choose for her.
But who gives a fig
she might very-well twig.
I'm sure that many adore her.

MALE-SLAPPER-SLAPSTICK
Slap-and-tickle
placed him in a pickle.
It was a knock-around comedy.
His wife found out
that he put it about.
It ended-up a knockout tragedy !

for PATTAYA TRADER 158 (E)

BELLE DENEUVE
Delicious Catherine Deneuve,
she was Belle de Jour
in a juicy French film
that left men asking for more.
They bayed for fleshly loveliness;
wolves outside the cineama door.

HURRIES-HOUSE-CHORES-
DOES-SOAPY-SHE
She is a multi-tasker.
Her share of housework's never done.
Ever a Jill-of-all-trades,
she is the mistress of none.
Just put aside the tv-soaps
and do the tasks one by one !

for PATTAYA TRADER 158 (D)

THE SATYRICAL SCENE-SETTERS
Let we the Chorus set the scene,
'tis the fields, by woods, bright green.
Satyrs, fauns, and the unicorns,
the Greek god Pan complete with horns.
Ah yes all wild things Arcadian,
the mysteries that are surrounding man.
The centaurs, nymphs, naiads, Graces,
the Fates and the half-human faces.
All the half-beasts here at play
you shall behold this very day.
The great God Apollo will shine,
his rays golden and so divine.

for PATTAYA TRADER 158 (C)

THE-LIFE-FOUND-BEYOND-
ALL-EARTHLY-THINGS
What we call nothing
is the No Thing.
The agent from which
emerges everything.
Call it Word-of-God,
call it Life's-Force.
The Driver of  the Big-Bang.
The No Thing that is the source.

for PATTAYA TRADER 158 (B)

PETE BLUES
Take you a woman
and kindly treat her.
She'll be the one
to raise your Blue Peter.
Yes take you a woman,
with kindness defeat her,
for she is the one
will raise your Blue Peter.
She'll up the flag. The flag I say.
To the ocean the girl's a gateway.

for PATTAYA TRADER 158 (A)

SAWADEE-SIAMESE-LADIES
Goodbye ladies Sa and Ping.
Farewell girls Chom and Ling.
Goodbye ladies Soy and Da,
for now goes my journey far.
Farewell girls Tan and Lee.
Goodbye, farewell, ah Sawadee.

TOMBSTONE TOWN
When tall and silent
as is Clint Eastwood,
and the noisy-night-town
looks like it's Westward,
you know you walk alone
while the gangs get tombstoned.

A-PARISIAN-PRINCESS-
IS-SHE-IN-PASSING
She is a fleur-de-lis
with a rose-red-kiss.
On cute-dolphins' backs
she finds pure-bliss.
Ah what a royal ride.
Her beauty, steal shall the tide.

THE-CAT-ON-A-HOT-THAI-ROOF?
Patten writes poetry
and so do I.
Brian loves the Greek girls.
For me it's the lovely Thai.
He sent me a postcard
I found on my doormat.
It gets me grinning
like a Siamese tomcat !

PATTAYA PADDOCK
Acting like a stud
in your bachelor pad,
she is the one mare
you are so glad
to have gone had.
She is the one mare
you will have stay
and lie in the hay
till come what may !

THE-VERSE-GODDESS-
OVER-THE-GIRLS?
Find once upon a time it was
that more than once I looked for you.
Now it is I no longer seek
a girl when the Muse will do.
You wend my way of own accord,
this poet open to your call.
With the tide you then go.
Only the goddess holds me in her thrall.
To you lesser-muses I've been true,
but your forms are mortal after all !

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (J)

A-TRANSPORTIVE-MEDITATION-
VERSE
The transporter-bridge
is a steel-wedge
between banks of concrete.
Where the warbler in the sedge?

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (I)

TASTY-THAI-TREATS-FROM-
HOME-OR-AFAR
When in Rome
do as the Romans do.
In Siam's Pattaya City
I take this view.
I've eaten frog,
crocodile and emu.
Venison, ostrich,
octopus, kangaroo.
As to taste, Thai-girl,
find it is true...
that there's none
more tastier than you !

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (H)

THE LOVE-LIONS
I'm a lion of love,
proud and strong-of-jaw.
Ah lovely-lioness
give me, girl, your paw.

A DEE-TYPE
An E-Type-Jag
on Simon Dee tv.
Head grew too big.
Signing on, now he,
down at the dole.
D.J. with his ego
don't you ever be !

HOVERS-OVER-GREAT-ORMOND-
STREET-HOSPITAL-DOES-A-
GLOWING-PETER-PAN
The Whie Bird shimmering like a star,
oh Nurse Wendy, there you are !
Tucking in the poor hospital mites
while Peter shines like a-pure-Christmas-light.

ON-HARDY'S-'IN-THE-CEMETERY'
Nurse-Lizzie-Downton
now-shares-in-Hardy's-fame,
for-upcountry-babe-Thomas
she-rescued-from-the-main-drain.
They-had-thought-him-stillborn.
Her-help-brought-him-life-and-a-name.

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (G)

THE-LUCY-LUCKY-HE
A juicy sort of judo, ooh,
when he's in bed with Lucy Liu !

YES-EMPOWERED-BY-THE-HIGHEST-
HOPES-PERTAINING-TO-PERSONAL-
ENLIGHTENMENT
The girl's studied mysticism
in both the East and West.
She's-read-theIndians'-verse-Gita
and-theArthurian-Knights'-holy-grail-quest.
The girl uses the I Ching,
has studied Freud and Jung.
With a highly-elevated mind
she awaits the flying saucers to come.

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (F)

DIVERSE-VERSE
Stockings with suspenders
are now seen as dirt,
while it is quite common
for girls to wear a mini-skirt !
I do not like to spy
a man in a lady's dress,
but women wear trousers
though went a long-time trouserless.
I'm very-much in favour of diversity.
Find that the uniform is not for me.

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (E)

PROPOSITIONS-A-POSSIBLE-PUNTER-
A-BRASH-PROFESSIONAL-PROSTITUTE-
IN-PATTAYA-FIND
The prostitute and a punter.
Who is exploiting whom
there beneath the palms
while up-above the moon
is looking quietly down
and seems to have got a grin,
and the stars, all around,
seem to be a-winking?
The breeze nudges the leaves,
whispers "Just view these !"

LIFE-AND-THE-DON-BOOKS'-
BALANCING-ACT
They speak of the 'best-books'
in our universities,
and the school of life
they avoid like it's a disease.
Which the 'best-books'
and quite why these?

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (D)

DEBRA ABRACADABRA
Here comes the darkness,
here comes the dark,
and "Abraca-Debra" slips
from the lips of your Magic Mark.
Yes here comes the nightfall,
here comes the night,
and "Abraca-Debra" slips
from my lips, dear-girl, with delight.

SO-FAIR-MUSE-MINE-
YOU'LL-FIND
A woman behind
every man's success?
Only my so fine Muse
I must confess.
The women I lived with
couldn't have cared less !

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (D)

LAY-HEAD-YOURS-ACROSS-
SILVERY-GOLD-HEART-MINE-
OH-SO-VERY-DEAR-GIRL
'X'  marks the very-spot
where lies the silver-and-gold.
My heart, girl, do I cross.
The pirate's map's unscrolled.
Upon my chest your head come to rest.
Yes lay your head on my treasure-chest.

MY-VOICING'S-VIEW
There is no-one ever honest.
There's nobody ever true.
There is no-one ever responsible
for anything that they ever do.
You know I am being honest.
You know I'm being very-true.
You know that I am responsible
for this verse-and-view.

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (C)

THE-LOVELY-WARM-SHOWER-WOMAN-
SHALL-MY-BATHROBE-NEVER-WEAR
I don't wear pyjamas,
a bathrobe I do
when around the home.
I bought one for you.
Now I have found
you are spoken for.
You'll never use the towel
behind my shower door.
Never wear my robe
against your warm skin.
The warmth I get, girl,
from this showering.

THE-BOOBY-PRIZE-WINNER'S-
POEM-PERHAPS?
I like the way you laugh.
I like the way you smile.
Yet girl I am aware
that beauty can beguile.
What's behind the laugh?
What's behind the smile?
What's beneath the beauty
and the pretty-lady's style?
Were I to get under your skin,
what's the prize I might win?

THE-HEROIN-HABIT-NIGHTOWL
A wide-eyed guy
who's on a late-night prowl.
He seeks a drug-peddler
this kind of snowy owl.

YES-AFTER-HONOURING-A-DREAMY-
THAI-GIRL'S-DESIRE-FOR-A-
GENTLE-BODY-MASSAGE
I was to give a massage
to the massage-parlour girl
who lived next door to me
in Pattaya's fantasy world.

Yes I was to give a massage,
from her shoulders to her toes,
then shared the kind of evening
rarely a true-gentleman knows !

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (B)

TOO-DAMN-HIGH-AND-
EVEN-OUT-OF-HAND
There are orange leaves
outside of my window.
The farmer, a Siamese,
has left a buffalo
among the many trees
where tall grasses grow
high above the knees.
The grass is levelled-low
by the horned beast.
Good to see, and know,
life has its levellers
and we reap what we sow.

TASTING-A-MARSHMALLOW
Upon my pillow
a chocolate marshmallow.
She is soft inside.
Windows the girl's eyes.
Through them deep-skies
where no clouds glide.
Body and mind so sweet,
a French-kissing treat.
My heart's-door opens-wide.

for PATTAYA TRADER 157 (A)

ADVENTURES-IN-VERSE-AND-
A-FAR-OFF-NATION
I worked at the Post Office
and for the Steel Company.
I worked down a deep-mine.
It's a teacher you now see.
A teacher and a verse-poet
and a sort of wandering-gypsy.
Are you a free spirit, girl?
Girl, are you a spirit free?
Then go and pack your bags
and come a-wandering with me.
Carlton, Saltburn, York, Pattaya,
Bangkok, Middlesbrough; homes-to-me.
Yes I have lived here and there,
and in a land across the sea.
A gypsy-girl looked in my eyes
when I was on my mother's knee.
She said "One day, dreamy-child,
a venturer, too, you shall be."

AN-UNIDENTIFIED-FLYING-
OBJECT-MADE-ME-GLOW
Orange-spheres in old Siam.
Here we'd call them UFOs.
Monks say they carry the gods.
I'm not much of a holy-Joe,
but journeying from Bangkok
I saw from the transit-bus
a sphere wind through the trees
and yet keep-up speed with us.
What it was I do not know.
Flew an orange-object. All aglow.

A FUNNY-OLD-BUNNY-
YOU-WILL-FIND
Germaine Greer -
as we can see -
has gone from 'equal'
to 'superiority'.
I'd not call the boast
of the old-girl PC.
She feels like a dog -
even a rabbit yet -
whenever a man should
dare to call her 'pet'?

for PATTAYA TRADER 156 (H)

DAMNED-POLITICAL-MADNESS
Blacks and women
in politics are as bad
as is any white man.
They are all so-equally-sad.
They're all damn-power-mad !

NO-FLIES-ON-A-
FEMALE'S-TROUSERS?
Feminism gave-way to the Ladettes,
as to the former gave-way the Suffragettes.
With the ladies I do empathize,
and Thatcher who tried mens' trousers for size !

for PATTAYA TRADER 156 (G)

INCURABLY-ROMANTIC
I bought the girl roses.
I bought her chocolates too.
The flowers were to fade,
the sweets turn to sticky-goo.
She didn't keep the date
because of teeming rain.
The girl forgot to phone.
With someone-else go try again.

A DULL-DINNER-DUO-NOT
I cooked a meal for two.
We sat down to dine.
I uncorked the bottle
and poured us some wine.
Her glass was half-empty.
My glass was half-full.
I drank hers, she drank mine.
Find the night sure wasn't dull !

for PATTAYA TRADER 156 (F)

YES-UNDER-FINGERS-MINE-
MELT-DEAR-GIRL
Snowflakes and fingerprints.
Alike are not a two.
Snowflakes will melt on your body.
Will my fingers, girl, melt you?
Fingerprints are not alike.
Some say that is not true.
Snowflakes a-whiten the night.
My fingers, girl, now alight on you.

IN-THE-PALM-OF-YOUR-
VERY-PRETTY-HAND
Against my would-be rulers
I have to make a stand,
but, for one-night-only,
your wish is my command.
Girl I am all yours.
Do with me as you will.
Let your eyes eat your lover,
let your mouth drink its fill.
Yes against would-be rulers
I have to make a stand,
but, for one-night-only,
you've-got-me-in-your-hand.

for PATTAYA TRADER 156 (E)

THE-WIDE-AWAKE-DEATH-KIND
We think of death
as dark as night.
A blackness, not a white
or a bright-light.
As a very-long sleep we take
and not a sort-of-coming-awake.

THE-HARNESSED-TO-HOUSE-AND-
TO-LAZY-HUSBAND-WOMAN
She is religiously routine.
The girl's just a cog-in-a-machine.
Lifts a finger her man never.
Bound to home and he forever?

for PATTAYA TRADER 156 (D)

FAREWELL-SO-LOVELY-
FLOWER-OF-SIAM
Goodbye, lotus-flower,
it is time for me to go;
head back to my homeland
where the English-roses grow.
The taste is sweet-and-sour;
the feeling high-and-low.
From here in Port Pattaya
to my homeland I will go.
Goodbye, lotus-flower,
with your gold-brown glow.
I leave for the land
where the English-roses grow.

THE-LATE-EVENING-VAMP'S-
HIGH-SOCIETY-APPETITE
By Le Caprice,
in St James Place,
she waits to dine
on a 'famous face'.
The lady is a vamp
with a rich taste.
Not a drop of blood
will go to waste.
Yes by Le Caprice,
in St James place,
the vamp has drained
His-Lordship-and-His-Grace.

YES-A-DOWNTOWN-GOER'S-
LESSON-IN-WIDE-GUN-LAW
The town's beset with cowboys,
with bunches of drunk-yahoos
out to rope in drunk-women
with their invisible lassos.
When the evening is over -
in the sober light of day -
there'll be the cowpoke builders
and the hustlers all at play.
The law is just a business
and justice on the wane.
Everyone's an under-handed-gun.
Go cry "Come back Shane !"

for PATTAYA TRADER 156 (C)

DOWN-DYING-DEATH
It's not that I'm a pacifist
that you will hear me say
"Making peace is fine
as war is not the way."

It's not that I'm a coward
that I now say to you
"All put down your weapons
and Death will die-down too."

OH-IT-IS-THE-BUTTERCUP'S-
DEW-DROP-LADY
On a leaf-of-grass
she left a hair
and a bead of sweat
in a buttercup.
of these such-things
I am aware
when with a lover
whom my eyes eat-up.
Soon will the cows
come to graze.
They'll chew the grass
and the hair.
Soon will the cattle
come to erase
the buttercup
and dew from her.

A-DIVINE-VISION-OF-
A-DUO-NOW-DIVIDED?
I had a vision.
I told it to you.
I made you aware,
thus it didn't come true.
Maybe the vision
was wrong anyway.
Maybe your actions
kept it at bay?
No warning find,
but a prophecy
that came not true
for you and me.

COCOON
Some call it the death.
Some a sort of sleep.
Some a celebration,
sure not a time to weep.
No not a time to weep;
like birth, death's a norm.
Perfect caterpillars
into butterflies transform.