for PATTAYA TRADER 150 (C)

DEMOCRACY'S-PEN-SWORD-POWER
Write,write; Write, write.
May our pens be swords to smite
the despots who'd set alight
freedom's words with a Fahrenheit.

AN-UGLY-UNION
Hitler and Stalin made a pact.
Sometimes opposites do attract.
The far-left, the far-right,
in bed together. Bloody ugly sight !

OUT-FOXED-BY-A-MONKEY
The monkeys from the mountains
come to steal folks food
in far-away foreign lands
like foxes that go intrude
on London City's suburbs
and other large-growing towns,
for it is that their jungles -
as our forests - are being cut down.

A FLAPJACK?
A girl played Gooseberry.
He blew her a Raspberry,
sticking out a reddish tongue.
He'd gone on a Date.
The Date brought a mate.
There they were; a threesome.
Yes a rude-man was he
and a Fruit and Nut cake.
They've left him all alone.

for PATTAYA TRADER 150 (B)

THE-POODLE-BLAIR-PIE
She came from South Korea
for to live in old Siam.
She'd a poodle in her bag
only the size of her hand.
"I love him, I could eat him,
but don't want him to die."
She went with a wiggle
and a poodle fit for a pie.
Tony Blair was Bush's poodle,
he sent soldiers out to die
against the wish of his country.
Now THERE'S meat for a pie !

THE TWO STARS
I spy the twin-stars
that peep into your budoir
like eyes on the dark-face
of a feline other than you.
Let my lips and fingers trace
your body's every secret place.
Ah yes girl I'll take you far,
over the twin-stars beyond the moon.

THE-BIRTHDAY-BANANA-GIRL
She said "You are so fruity
although you are no fruit."
She said "You are so juicy
and yet hard like a nut."
She peeled off her pyjamas -
like the skin off a banana -
and lay down in her birthday-suit !

NEED NOT HAVE THROWN
"You don't love me, so I don't love you,"
was the emotional-blackmail she threw.
But I being no needy-sort,
what she threw was not caught.

A-NOBLE-ART-OF-POETRY?
She said "You're full of it !"
but does the cap fit?
I hoped she meant wit,
not a dunce or upward sh..;
am I a vulgar verse-poet?!

JACK'S-OFF-A-JOHN-SO-NAMED
He went into the John
to get a Johnny from the machine.
He was a working-girl's John.
Call him Jack, John sounds obscene !

for PATTAYA TRADER 150 (A)

METROPOLITAN MANIPULATION?
Pen-pusher-poison behind the desk
and propaganda promoters on the net?
A clever conspiracy of big-companies
to keep the workers on their very-knees?
Fact? Fiction? What basis this?
Find it, perhaps, in the book Metropolis.

FORGE-BEYOND-ALL-
WRONGFUL-BOUNDARIES
"Oh to be a sophisticate.
Oh to be articulate.
To be to the Manor born."
Speaking from a council estate
you'd have thought the girl was bound
to the limits of her poor background !

A-SEX-ORGY'S-OGRES
The ogre at the orgy
with a great hunger ate
the famished-fresh-flesh
that needed, too, to satiate.

THE DEAD DODOS
Curiosity kills the cat we know,
yet man made extinct the dodo.

HEAD-TO-HEAD-
IN-FRANCE
Tete-a-tete, on the bed,
"Nice pair of teats," I said !

DRIVEN-TO-MADNESS'S-
VERGE
The man's mad dash
ended in a one-car crash.
In the rush, ill-timed,
he longed to drive a girl out his mind.

MEN-THAT-HE-HAD-
MADE-A-KING
The maker of the kings;
he they came to despise.
They tried forget this man
who helped give them rise.
He placed his trust in them;
poor kings find, and unwise.

YES-A-REGAL-SWAN-GIRL-
YOU-ARE
Today was a swnny sea,
a swanny sea like Swansea.
Just like Swansea's said to be.
Tonight come and lie with me
on a bed that is all feathery
and we'll make love girl, regally.

THE-COOL-CALLED-
NORTHERN-THAI-LADY
One of the Thai-girls I came to know
gave herself the nickname Snow.
On the slopes of her soft-thighs
my fingers slowly skied down-wise.
Upon the peaks of her breasts
my climbing lips came to rest.
She'd chosen the nickname Snow
as it's cooler the more North you go. 

for PATTAYA TRADER 149 (C)

ALL-MALE-ANIMALS
From the bull in the field
to the stag atop the hill.
From the billy upon the mountain
to the boar in his own swill.
When it comes to the tup
they're all happy as pigs in muck !

AN-ICE-RINK-RANKLE
"They've built a new skating-rink
but the tickets are a pretty price,
and money round here is scarce
as now the polar bears on ice !"

DEEP SEEDS
What we sow
do we then reap.
My thoughts best grow
when planted deep.

HIMALAYAN HYMNS
At the foot of the Himalayas
and looking way up ahead,
you've your hymns and your hopes,
got yout Tibetan Book Of The Dead.
Surely best to aim far higher,
to make your mission to the moon.
You'll fall short of the target
but will reach the top real soon.
Beware the Abominable Snowmen
on whose mountains you'll intrude,
and stick to the path of the Buddha
in your spiritual climb and solitude.

INNER STAR
Ever looking outward,
yet seeing none-too-far.
Never looking inward,
blind to our own star.

for PATTAYA TRADER 149 (B)

CONFORMISTS'-DARK-CHRISTMAS
No two snowflakes are the same
and how white they fall.
Flickers the wax candle's flame.
Folk are not like snowflakes at all.

TWILIGHT-TWITTERS
You're into your twittering-twilight
with your lonely-sparrow-fears.
The thieving magpie will leave night,
stealing away all your years.

PUNTER-POEM
I am with Mr Sillitoe
who wrote of punting down river.
Through Blake's greener England to go
in very sunny weather.
To hear a sedge-warbler sound,
see the odd mink or rarer otter.
City boat-racers hear then my song:
"I am punting for Albion".

SHAPELY-CHARMER
Like a camel with an extra hump,
she had three moony-round-breasts;
the tips pointy as are pyramids
or the beak of the phoenix on her flesh
in the form of a fine-tattoo.
Strange snake-charming lady, ooh !

correction:

BRIDE-IN-BLACK should end with 'death kiss' not 'kiss death'.

for PATTAYA TRADER 149 (A)

THE-LEEDS'-PRETTY-DANCELESS-
ESTATE-NAME-PLATE
Where stood a famous dance hall
has grown a huge Leeds estate.
Boys-and-girls rarely take-the-floor
though the disco's name is on the plate.

BRIDE-IN-BLACK
It is your funeral
now you are tied
to the girl who is
your black-gowned bride.

You think the gown white,
white as virgin snow,
but dark the heart
of the black-widow.

It is your funeral,
her veil now lift.
Kiss the bride
and yes, kiss death.

THE-REBEL-WITH-NO-
NOBLE-CAUSE? (for Woody Allen)
Until all will speak free,
start the revolution without me!
Until there'll be equal individuality,
start the revolution without me!
Until it's death to every tyranny,
then do not include me.
Start the revolution with out me!

TUMBLE-A-TYRANT
Tumble the tyrant
we don't deliberately elect
and let us hope for
the domino effect.

Yes tumble the tyrant,
break down the wall;
fell every despots statue
with the demolition-ball?

HUNTING-THE-HUN
The U2, the V1,
spy-plane and spitfire gun.
The rat-a-tat-tat
of our victorious flying bat
saw the Hun go on the mousy run.

MOONTIDES
They say the moon effects the tides
like a magnet; holds the reins.
And Dylan T. sang of being a singer
like the sea in his chains.

KNOW NOT YOU
Wisdom, as Socrates knew,
is knowing you know nothing.
You don't know that, know-it-all  you !

for PATTAYA TRADER 148 (E)

NEVER A TAIWANESE?
West is West, East is East,
on her naked body did my eyes feast.
Who says never the twain shall meet?!

A-REAL-BAD-DREAM
When the poet spoke
it sounded like a croak.
Laughed aloud the folk,
said he'd a frog in his thoat.
A Mudfog frog, a Mudfog frog,
with a croaky dialogue.
"Go on, get back to your bog"
they sang to the Mudfog frog.
Awoke he from the dream's spell.
No poet the frog from the well !

for PATTAYA TRADER 148 (D)

MRS SHERLOCK HOLMES
Mrs Holmes spied on me,
or on her daughter's bedsheets.
To her love is not free.
Mrs Holmes found it a crime.
It was with a magnifying-glass
she sought stains for some time.
Mrs Holmes isn't quite her name,
but she put Sherlock and us to shame.

for PATTAYA TRADER 148 (C)

TIME-AND-TIDE-MAIDEN-
NO-MORE
Under the star-shiny-night
that is her only roof,
she goes take a bath
in the fountain-of-youth.
Snakes out her tail
to flap on the ground.
Ah maid-of-the-sea,
from its cycle unbound !

LIFE OR A LIE?
Live by the lie
and by the lie die.
Be it better said:
Live by the lie, you're already dead.

for PATTAYA TRADER 148 (B)

A LADY LIBERTINE
The libertine lady,
she pats her pet.
She has him in
her web, her net.
There are some
who only feel free
when somebody else
is down on bent-knee.

JUST-A-COOPER'S-FEZ-ON-HEAD-
MAGIC-FIND
Comedian Tommy Cooper knocked
boxer Henry Cooper flat.
Find he did it with a joke.
He did it "Just like that !"

OLD HOLBORN
Old Mr Holborn, your life's a drag.
Roll-up yourself a further fag.
At the Strand awaits a dear friend
who has also come to a dog-end.

IT'S-A-LONDON-ROUGH-TRADE-FLAUTIST-
DO-SOME-MEN-SEEK
Around Piccadilly men seek Pete,
to spend time with him in Greek street.
By the Eros mount he'll find him there
in the ruffs-and-frills Pete likes to wear.
Then off he'll go, across to Soho,
with Picadilly Pete and his piccolo !

for PATTAYA TRADER 148 (A)

A-GIRL-GOES-RABBITING-TO-BOW
You're going to a party
where you are going to rave?
It's a knees-up to the sound
of musicians Chas And Dave?
You'll here all the Cockney talk,
you'll here all the rabbit-and-pork,
and like a Bow Beller you'll behave?

A-TEASE-SHIRTED-VENUS
-IS-SHE
With moon-round breasts
beneath her black-as-night vest,
into her tight-jeans she squeezes.
The girl slides her toes
into her well-honed stilettos.
A rock 'n' roll Venus, how she now teases.

NO-RIGHT-TO-WRITE-
HUMANELY-THOMAS
William Blake cried to Thomas Paine,
"Awaits you prison's ball and chain !
Get out of England while you sure can !
They'll wrong you for your 'Rights-Of-Man' !"

WELL-HONED-SATIRIST-
WILLIAM
Willy Hone, oh Willy Hone,
to the top-dogs threw his funny-bone.
For his satires he'd to atone.
They put him in jail all alone.

for PATTAYA TRADER 147 (H)

BEDROCK CITY AIRWAVES
Yabba-dabba-doo, yes yabba-dabba-doo
Fred and Wilma are a-rocking too
Terry Dactyl And The Dinosaurs.
Overhead the Jetson family soars
and looks down upon the very-far-off-past.
"Man, that rock 'n' roll's just a real rocket-blast !" 

for PATTAYA TRADER 147 (G)

SUB ROSA
I'll let you into a secret.
Yes a secret I'll disclose.
I was on top of the world
when I was under the rose.

I wasn't under her thumb.
I was right up in the sky.
I've let you into a secret
when under the rose was I.

HOME-AND-HEART
If home is where the heart is
then mine's inside this man
who goes around adventurous
as can a gypsy caravan.

for PATTAYA TRADER 147 (F)

THE-CREW-RAISERS-OF-
NO-LOST-ART?
Lara Croft
and Indiana Jones;
tomb-raiders who could
jump eachother's bones.
Should play mummy and daddy the two,
the pair might raise a bone-jumping crew !

EVER-IN-THE-PINK
Let us come together,
oh let us come together;
the two of us, girl,
in a pink forever.
Whiteskin-and-red. Cap-and-feather.
Yes the two of us in a pink forever.

CLEOPATRA'S NEEDLE
She used to be so beautiful
and regal like a queen.
Now she walks the streets
in a daze and not a dream.
The girl walks the streets
in a daze and not a dream
to pay for the evil-habit
that leaves her heated though serene.

for PATTAYA TRADER 147 (E)

LOVE'S-GLOVE-PUPPETS-WERE-
TRULY-WE-GIRL
We sure were hand-in-glove.
Girl, we sure were hand-in-glove.
Yet we pair put on a show
when it turned to puppet-love.

THE CUT-OUT HEART
The girl takes your money
and even worse...
severs your gold-heart's strings,
the Moll-Cutpurse !

for PATTAYA TRADER 147 (D)

MISS MITTY
Wallace Mitty
you descend from Walt,
your downright lies
must come to a halt.
Wallace Mitty's not your real name,
yet you'd fool us, girl, just the same.

DIFFERENT-DESTINIES-FIND-
FOR-TWO
Their eyes met across
the busy railway station.
He on one platform, she the other.
Both to go in the opposite direction.
They might have shared a journey
had a train not come between them
to take him to his destination.

for PATTAYA TRADER 147 (C)

IN-MINT-CONDITION-WAS-
NOW-YONDER-MADAM
La Belle Stuart, chaste-dutchess,
there on the coinage of the nation.
The girl modelled as Britannia.
Cost a pretty-penny to gain intimation?

A-SUNNY-BUTTERFLY-FIND
Butterfly in the sun
and star of dance,
find that Mata Hari
held men in a trance.

IT-IS-THE-FOOL'S-FINAL-LAUGH-
RIGHT-HERE-YOU'LL-FIND
Archie Armstrong, King's Jester,
was followed by Tom Killigrew
after being forcibly retired.
And yes - ye all - it's true,
he was buried on April Fool's Day.
"The last laugh his," some folk might say !

SEXUAL-OLYMICS
Claudius's wife Melissa
was a sort of Olympian.
Not the kind of a woman
fit for an emperor-Roman.
A female find of excess.
Greek-goddess-sporting-with-the-opposite-sex?

for PATTAYA TRADER 147 (B)

DRY-CANADIAN-LABEL-DRINKER
With his whisky and ginger-ale
he just wants to go die.
His girl was a fiery-redhead
he later found in a Mountie's bed.
He's going to drink Canada dry.

A-MIDDLE-EASTERN-
BELLY-MUSCLE-DANCE
Exotic-and-very-erotic,
she is surely the answer
to my midway travel blues.
Bring on the belly-dancer.

SUN-AND-SHADOW
Doctors and drug-dealers.
Saints and pure-sinners.
Heroes and damn-cowards.
Real-losers and big-winners.
Not all is black, not all is white,
but much darkness obscures the light.

Errors:

There are over 300 verses thus far, and several minor errors. In a verse I have typed De Guiles instead of De Rais (as to Gilles De Rais) which is, of course, a mistake. There is also a gap between the verses some way down, which was not intentional. Scroll right down to find actual pages from the Trader.

For PATTAYA TRADER 147 (A)

THE-CARIBBEAN-KIND'S-
SO-HUMANE-KINDNESS
Mary Seacole,
now there's a tale
of a Creole
who - like Nightingale -
nursed the wounded
brought from battle
where men were slaughtered
just like sheep and cattle.

Mary Seacole,
yes there's a tale
of a Creole
who aided the pale
shell-shocked sick,
prayed for the dying,
with a solemn duty
that was so death-defying.

YES-THE-REAL-RHYMER-
TOM-IT-IS
Thomas Spence of Tyne-and-Wear
spoke of Fairyland being right here.
If only we'd start with better pay
for the working folk he was to say.
Daughters-of-Faery, sons-of-Ocean,
to you he sang songs of devotion.
What seems reality's only a pretence.
Give-up on dreams at your own expence.

MAIN-LINER LENNY
Go try laying-off the monkey juice.
Maybe you'll stop swearing like-comedian-Lenny-Bruce !

SOL'S-OLD-AND-WISE-
SON-SONG?
The son of a son
of a son of Solomon?
You think that you are wise.
Wed in a song of songs
to Sophia with the knowing eyes.
Yet wisdom and knowledge you confuse.
Wisdom's how the latter you use.

for PATTAYA TRADER 146 (D)

A-DARK-DEMON-DRUG-
DON'T-YOU-GO-TAKE
(On A. Crowley's 'Diary of A
Drug-Fiend')
Should you look up into the sun
then find that your time has come
as creature-of-the-living-strange.
Yes as a drug-fiend you'll change -
as even the vampires surely must -
into particles of pure-dust.
Blinded by the heavenly light
will you be, creature-of-the-night.

ALONG GET I
"The far-left is dead,"
the Tory Party had said,
goose-stepping with arrogant pride.
I'm very much in the middle,
but didn't Nero fiddle
while Rome burnt, the-Devil-on-his-right-hand-side?
You might think me wrong
yet I get along
as I sing my song
caught between the great divide.

for PATTAYA TRADER 146 (C)

THE GEM JOANNA
The lovely Joanna Lumley
enjoys the verses of John Betjeman.
She thinks they are fine-diamonds.
He'd have thought her an Asolutely Fabulous gem.

YES-OLD-KNITTING-NEEDLE-
LADY-DID-IT-BOYS-IN-BLUE
Miss Marple makes the cops look woolly-brained
while she sits there with her knitting.
Yes there's murder where ever she goes.
Is it the old-girl thrusts the needle in?
From butcher to baker to candlestick-maker,
of tv's detectives we've had our share.
Find I reach for the switch to turn them off,
but turn my back on Miss Marple wouldn't dare !

A-GIRL'S-MONKEY-HANG-UP
The girl came from Birmingham,
she said "We call it Brum.
I lived there with my boyfriend
but he was very much a baboon's bum.
Well, I had to leave the ape,
play no more the poor fool.
I hear that they hang monkeys
up here in Hartlepool?"

SO-HAPPY-JUMPS-JACK
Yes spring-heeled Jack,
he was seen out-back.
Went over the wall,
sprang-down the track
this May morn, at dawn's crack.
I bet come June
he'll be over the moon.

AN-OLD-POLICE-SQUAD'S-
DARN-QUICK-PAIR
Sweeney Todd, yes Sweeney Todd;
Cockney rhyming slang for the Flying Squad.
They busted a big-narcotics ring
and were well and truly flying.
One looked like Denny Waterman.
One looked like John Thaw.
"You're nicked, you're nicked, you're nicked,
because we are the law."
They used to celebrate a bust
with drink, with booze, with beer.
But now they'd both a warehouse
piled up with packets of new gear !

YES-DOWN-THE-MUCKY-DOCKS
WITH-NOT-SO-DUMB-DAISY
Don't step on the concrete-cracks,
you just never know your luck.
Ah, here comes Dockside-Daisy,
the cute-girl with the hook.
She has a speech-impediment
but lets her fingers talk.
Yes she has a speech-impediment
yet a most-telling walk.

No don't step on the concrete-cracks,
you just never know your luck,
but lie down with Dockside-Daisy
and-through-the-cracks-the-flowers-push-up.

for PATTAYA TRADER 146 (B)

BLINDED-BY-BENIGN-BEAUTY
They said that Mata Hari
was a foreign spy.
Before a firing-squad
she had to die.
She'd brought-down the wrath
of the Valkyrie,
fired-up the evil-warlord's
teutonic fury.
For the soldier-boys
blindfold her eyes,
such prettiness there
is known to mesmerise.
One last cigarette
for the girl condemned.
Vanish in smoke
beauty without end.

for PATTAYA TRADER 146 (A)

WITHOUT-THE-CONDITIONED-
BRAIN-BOX
The Thai girl wears my shirt
and also wears my socks.
She's turning into a Western male.
I'm thinking outside the box.

Not yet wearing my trousers,
her culture no longer shocks.
She pretty-well adapts to my ways.
She's thinking outside the box.

We stand face to face,
Eastern and Western clocks.
Both our minds in different times
though thinking outside the box.

And so it is I kiss her,
but where is her Eastern frock?
She'll soon wear the trousers !
I think outside the box.

OPENS-UP-WIDE-HER-EYES-
THE-DREAMY-SLEEPER
Your eyes now wide-open
after so long a sleep,
look around you, girl;
look around you and go weep.

A twelve-month for each
and every one of your tears,
you've finally awoken, girl;
yes you've been sleeping for years.

You were sold the dreams
that were never to come true.
Like Rip-Van-Winkle, girl;
you see the world anew.

THE-DANDY-IS-DANNY
Find the male-newt bears the crest
and the male-robin the red-breast.
Danny is a dandy, a peacock at best;
but his feathers pluck the dreary rest.

MEAN-TEEN-TIMES-IN-
BLUE-BRITAIN
There is a campaign of hate
just outside the school gate
where evil drug-pushers lie in wait.
Poor-kids dress up, rich-kids down,
a white-girl speaks as if brown.
She tells a guy she isn't free.
The price is a ride in his JIV.
Yes there's a campaign of hate,
and it's right across the State.

for PATTAYA TRADER 145 (G)

FORCED-SUICIDE-OF
PHILOSOPHER-SOCRATES
"Socrates, you think too much.
Now must end your time.
Celebrate this hour of your death
with this cup of hemlock-wine.
You poison the minds of men
and so by poison meet your end.
To death you have been condemned.
Free-thinking find is your crime."

A-DEVILISH-VICAR-FOR-SURE !
At the vicars-and-tarts party
there entered a real vicar.
He'd a taste for all the tarts
and a thirst for all the liquor.
He drank, he came-and-went,
on his arm was the hired stripper.
Tomorrow, at the church-ladies-picnic,
shall it be "Another tart with your tea, Vicar?"?!

for PATTAYA TRADER 145 (F)

THE WESTERN WITS
Poets Dorothy Parker
and Ogden Nash.
Witty versifiers in
a land of cash, cash, cash.
Now Oscar Wilde,
he journeyed there
and only his genius
was he to declare.
A very great wit,
should have left some where
Dotty and Oggy never
got their views to share.

for PATTAYA TRADER 145 (E)

IT'S-SALTBURN'S-
SHADY-ANDREW-RIDES-ON?
There was a Yorkshire lass
with John Andrew the night would pass.
That's John Andrew the smuggler king.
And it was the smuggler king, yes,
who'd made the super-fast ride Black Bess
is said to have made for Dick Turpin.

Yes there was a Yorkshire lass
who was as sharp as any cutlass
and as fast as the smuggler could ride.
She was his alibi for the night, yes,
quick came her idea; she was as quick to undress !
But on the smuggler king would turn the tide.

What became of the Yorkshire lass
while in York Prison his nights he passed
there was no one who really knew.
But I hear on a moonlit night, yes,
you might hear a horse as fast as Black Bess
and see go riding a ghostly two.

SISTER GEORGE
When females weren't supposed to think,
let alone sit down and write,
she dressed as would a man,
called herself George Sand.
She cigar-smoked her hat off.
Put up a good and justly fight.

BETWIXT-INNOCENCE-AND-
EXPERIENCE-LIES-POETIC-
BLAKEAN-WISDOM
With their daisy-chains,
their schoolyard games
and no regards as to tomorrow,
60s youth-movement innocence
surely led to 70s youth experience
of tenement-block-needle sorrow.

for PATTAYA TRADER 145 (D)

A-REAL-EXPENSIVE-PEARL-DIVER
She is pretty and from Pattaya.
She is pretty as a pearl
formed by the diseased oyster.
Yet priceless isn't the girl.
Go swim with the turtle.
Swim with the cute-dolphin too.
But take a dive with Lek
and ye gods, it will cost you !

IT'S-MOLL-FLANDERS-OR-
A-DUNGEON-BORN-GIRL'S-
DESTINY-FIND
To be born in prison-Newgate
was the poor girl's infant fate.
Oh Moll, it's so mollifying !
Never to go straight,
but ever to relate
to whoring, thieving, lying.
Flanders no longer poor,
no role-model for an honest whore !

for PATTAYA TRADER 145 (C)

A SACRED  SEX?
Was the Magdalene
a sacred-whore?
Was she a priestess
at the temple door?
Might the words "Come-in"
have been mantric?
And could the sex
have been tantric?

THE-WORM-THAT'S-INSIDE-
THE-HEART'S-DYING-ROSE
Wrapped within a rose
the Blakean-type-worm
eats away at your heart.
Cruel-jealousy is the germ.

Yes cruel-jealousy's the germ
that eats away within.
Find it grows fatter girl
while you are fast-fading.

THE-WOLF-MYTH-OF-ROMA?
Raised by a she-wolf
were Romulus and Remus;
the she-wolf a 'lady of amor'?
The twins founded Roma, legend tells us.
Go read Roma backwards and find
Rome was created by a whore?!

THE-COSMIC-CHORDS
He charmed the gods
with his lyre.
He charmed the Earth
in her green attire.

He charmed the divines.
He charmed Nature.
Upper and Underworld
Orpheus set afire.

correction:

Loud with laughter :  THE-COCKNEY-AUNT'S etc

for PATTAYA TRADER 145 (B)

SAX AGE
The young black saxaphonist
has got her swinging so.
She's the ageing white woman
and he's her gigolo.

Lift that sax young-guy
and blow, blow, blow.
She's the ageing white woman
and he's her gigolo.
Black-and-white," hear her say,
"becomes a lady who's going grey."

A DIETRICH DITTY
Sell me a Shanghai Lil.
Sell me a Marlene.
Sell me a Blue Angel.
I'll buy a cool screen queen.

Yes sell me a Shanghai Lil.
Sell me a Marlene.
Sell me a Blue Angel.
I'll buy a hot heady dream.

I'LL-CALL-YOU-VERY-
CRUEL-DEVIL
I want one-hundred-and-one answers
in this questionnaire-to-fill.
You see black-spots where are white-spaces.
You try on various puppydog faces
but I'm not licked Cruella Deville.
I want one-hundred-and-one answers.
Girl, I am ever given nil.
There's many ways to skin a cat
who has nine lives in one. In fact
I'm not so cruel you devil.

THE-COCKNEY-AUNT'S-
PORK-PIE-HAT
I'd a Londoner-aunt through marriage,
born within the sound of Bow Bells.
That's how you tell a Cockney.
Yes that's how a Cockney you tell.
She'd ring out with loud laughter.
With loud laughter she'd ring out.
Hers was the sense of humour
that Tony Hancock's was all about.

for PATTAYA TRADER 145 (A)

IT-IS-A-HARI-KARI-BEAUTY'S-
HEARTBREAK-YES
Cio-Cio-San;
a butterfly-madam.
On painted wings you glide,
then down into death you slide.
Pinkerton is not the man
for whom to commit suicide.

YES-WILD-WEST-KITTY'S-
LONESOME-DEADWOOD-GRAVE
Kitty Le Roy met her end
at the Lone Star Saloon.
In bed with a 'friend'
she danced to his tune.
Sam Hurley, gun in hand,
crept into the room.

Kitty the jig-dancer
was a well-known whore.
Sam, her furious romancer,
left two bodies on the floor.
Jealousy creeps like a cancer
whether sex is free or paid-for.

ZOLA'S NANA
In a bordello very Parisian
Nana dresses as a man
and on her colleagues spies.
Nana with alluring smiles.
Nana whom a client beguiles.
Nana with the snow-white thighs.
Nana with the icy-heart
and who leaves a taste that's tart.

FANNY-FUN
Fanny Hill
or Venus Mound?
Fanny By Gaslight?
I have found
Fanny by starlight
to be more sound.

VICTORIOUS VERONICA?
Veronica Guerin,
she went all-out to win
with her sure-fire journalism.
Against the drug-gang-jism -
shot dead on a Dublin street -
might martyrdom rise-over-cruel-defeat?

DRINK-AND-DRUGS
Drunkards don't die
as young as do drug addicts.
If you want to age quick
then the former's your fix.

correction:

SKYRAIL-TRAIN-TO-SURAWONG













































































S

for PATTAYA TRADER 144 (E)

SKYRAIL-TRAIN-TO-SUWONG
I am in Bangkok
and not Hong Kong,
though folk back home
often get it wrong.
I board the skytrain
that heads for Suwong.

I am on Thai soil
and not part-of-China.
I'm by Siam Square.
I have a visa
and a round-trip ticket.
I'm a verse-poet and teacher.

Ys I'm in Bangkok
and not Hong Kong.
I'm on the skytrain
as it flies along
above the vast city
with its fans and gongs.

for PATTAYA TRADER 144 (D)

A-POET'S-TRANSPARENCY
He's the spider in the corner,
the fly on the far wall.
He clearly observes, overhears.
He sees through one and all.
Listen to his transparent poems,
food for thought find they recall.

DEALING-WITH-THE-UNDERHANDED-
DELUSION-MISS-DICKINSON?
By sleight of the poet's hand, dear Emily,
perhaps the greater truth do we get to see.

for PATTAYA TRADER 144 (E)

A SORCERY SAUCE
Of all the sauce, the sauce !
Oh of all the Chaucer !
He was a poet-king, of course.
You could have been his sorcerer,
or rather his sorceress.
Of all the sauce ! Quick, undress !

TURNING-HIS-HANDS-TO-
DIRTY-BUSINESS-AND-TO-
BEERY-DRINK
His right-hand is called Andrew,
or even Andy for short.
Sure is handy having Andrew
who's a wanker of a sort.
His left-hand is called Felix,
or even Feely for short.
On the bottoms of young-ladies
Often Felix has been caught.
And the guy himself is touchy;
touchy, Feely and Andy.
Andy pours beer, Feely lemonade,
for their person Twisthand Shandy.

Correction:

'the invisible musicians' sweet-instuments.' ends
IT'S-THE-NO-MORE-HEARD-
HEART-MUSIC

for PATTAYA TRADER 144 (D)

SWAN-ON-IN-SILENCE-
DO-LADDA
Farewell Da, our moment's sure gone.
Ah be as the swimming-white-mute-swan
though you're brown as is the cool-fish-pond
the rust-red sun now descends upon.
Farewell Da, our moment's sure done.
Legs slender like swans' necks;  move on.

IT'S-THE-NO-MORE-HEARD
HEART-MUSIC
We no longer hear the music.
No more the sound of violins.
You and I are no longer bows
on each other's heart-strings.
Oh pretty-girl, our new selves prevent
the invisible musicians' instruments.

Correction:

IT-SURE-IS-A-LOT-OF-MONEY-
DOWN-THE-LAVATORY-TUBE-
YOU-RIGHT-CHARLIE

or PATTAYA TRADER 144 (C)

IT-SURE-IS-A-LOT-OF-LOST-MONEY-
DOWN-THE-LAVATORY-TUBE-CHARLIE
Champagne-Charlie placed a big-bet
at Redcar Races. A horse named No Sweat.
Hooray-Henry laid down his money
on a working girl nicknamed Brown Honey.
Charlie went and lost his bet.
Henry came up all flushed and wet !

BIG-AND-BUSTY-BELLE-WEARS-NO-DRAWS !
Big-chest without drawers for sale.
Now there's a tale, oh there's a tale.
The telephone number contacts Soho.
Ring up first and then round go
(meet the girl with a lot to show).
Not every man is very alert
to what she means in her advert.
The girl gives French-Lessons as well.
Yes ring first and ask for big-Belle.

for PATTAYA TRADER 144 (B)

YES-LONDON'S-SWING-ALONG-CITY
When actress Eleanor Bron
talked with the Beatle John
way into the late-bar's night.
When the big-party was on
for many of the 60s young
under London City's bright-lights.
When Peter Cook, the Goons, Ken Dodd
gave a nudge, a wink and a nod,
the place was swinging all right.

for PATTAYA TRADER 144 (A)

A-WRONG-WRITER-FOR-SAINTLINESS-
YOU-WILL-FIND
Jean Genet hoped to be a saint
though of the criminal class.
If there's a classy kind of criminal
maybe that was he, but let sainthood by-pass.

THE-NAUGHTY-NIN-TIE-UP
Anais Nin.
Erotic writing.
So sexy thing
or wishful thinking?

for PATTAYA TRADER 143 (D)

PAUL-HOGAN-HAMMERS-NAIL-
WITH-SUDDEN-RECOGNITION
Out on the Brown Ale
was Newcastle's Jimmy Nail
who was seeing Blue Stars.
It was then he saw red
when he was hit on the head
in one of the city's posh-bars.
"Am a-gonna get you
with my crocodile shoe
aimed right at your jacksy !"
"Hey, hey pal, it's me,
Aussie's Crocodile Dundee,
it was only a slight pat, see?"

QUICKIE-POET-CUTLER-PIECE
'Truthful if nothing else,'
so you wrote of my verse.
Ah Mr Ivor Cutler,
without truth can anything be worse?

BOUNCY-COOPER-BREAKFAST-
LINES-FIND
John Cooper-Clarke
Bob Dylan caricature,
or Jeremy-the-Sugar-Puffs-bear?
"The guy's sold out for sure,"
said the first thought in my head -
and fans of punk-poetry -
when with the Honey-Monster
Johnny appeared on tv.
Never mind, he'll bounce back,
if-only-with-another-golden-honey-snack !

for PATTAYA TRADER 143 (C)

RODDERS
I've a friend named Sarah
who worked on a ship at sea.
She met the singer Rod Stewart
when he was footloose-and-fancy-free.
On that non-Atlantic-crossing
it was to her he said
"Blondes have more fun,"
where he lay upon his bed.
Now my friend named Sarah,
she was a blonde masseuse.
"Baby you've got hot-legs.
Glad I took this very-cruise.
Do ya think I'm sexy?
I know I am getting on,
but I can wield a mike
just ask my old pal Ron.
Yes I can wield a mike,
no not over is my day.
I'm still a kinda schoolkid,
ask that old bird Maggie May !"

WAXING-LYRICAL-MARIE?
"Let them eat bread."
She got no applause.
Off came the girl's head.
She's now in Tussaud's
(who'd been Lady-in-Waiting
and later made death-masks).
Am I wrong in stating
Marie was always wax?

A-DEMONIC-GUILES
In the army of Joan-of-Arc
he led soldiers on the march.
But they served no holy lord
for he loved to wield his sword.
Over tortured bodies he smiled,
the cruel, the wicked, lustful De Guiles.
Children begging at his home
were just stripped to the bone.
On flesh and blood and pain he'd feast.
Showed no mercy this hellish-beast.
A priest his king's company may bless,
though who's he to bestow holiness?

for PATTAYA TRADER 143 (B)

THE-THORN-THRUSH
She picked the berries
of the bramble bush
when sang out loud
a song-thrush
as if to say
"Stop right there.
Don't pick so fast
and of thorns beware."

Looking at her hands
with their purple stain
she said "They bleed
but they bleed in vain.
I have a bagful
and that will do,
though my hands
are a reddish-blue."

You've been pricked
by a bramble-thorn
and your royal blood
is being pourn
I joked - like a jester
with his queen -
as the sun's last rays
began to stream.

Yes I joked -  like a jester
with his queen -
as the sun's last rays
began to stream,
then we made our way
back to the town
that sat on the hill
like a heavy crown.

for PATTAYA TRADER 143 (A)

YES-IT'S-NOT-JUST-JOSEPHINE-
OCCUPIES-EMPEROR-NAPOLEON-
YOU'LL-FIND
Occupied with thoughts of occupation,
with his back to her stands Napoleon.
She tries to gain his attention.
Lo, it is not to be done.
He is far too busy Josephine.
How many times have her ears rung
with these words of her emperor,
the earthly all-poweful one:
"No not tonight my dear Josephine.
No my dear Josephine not tonight.
I have that much upon my mind.
I bid you a very good night."
There's many a woman gets in a rage
out her own sheer jealousy
of that which fills her man's mind
if it's anything other than damn she.
So emperors launch your warships,
send your soldiers to sea.
But sail with them sure do
or stay and face a lover's fury.

A RAILWAY-ROMANCE
It's a swift, if long, journey.
We will soon be there.
Wave goodbye to the station
and the home of Paddington Bear.
The sun peers through the window
with its golden-eyed stare
dazzled by the girl
with the equally golden hair.
Crosing the Thames Valley -
as in the age-of-steam -
we're like travelling gypsies
in a caravan all a-gleam
as we venture just like the river
and on to Land's End stream
now the train's bolted the station
like a carriage-and-horse-team.
From Paddington to Penzance,
we're on a journey of romance.

YES-FLAUBERT'S-GREEN-PARROTY-GIRL-
FIND
Girl, you are shattering my nut.
Why not try keep your beak shut?
You are wisecrack-squawking,
your parrot-green eyes are gawking
and your ruffled-feathers stay out-put !

IT-WAS-THE-PEACOCK-AND-
RAINBOW-PAINTED-PRINCESS
The man was a painter
and she a princess who
had him paint her body
like some folk wear tatoos.
He found her extravagant,
she found him expensive,
and when she asked why
he replied most pensive
"It's the people's taxes
pay for your colourful style.
You're a peacock, a rainbow.
I'm returner of the money-pile.
I come to you like a lover.
Your very body I caress
with the tips of my brushes
yet I bring a little happiness
and paint smiles on the faces
of the folk whose money I redress."

for PATTAYA TRADER 142 (B)

YES-THE-REALLY-COMICAL-
COUPLE'S-HORSE-PLAY-ANTICS
The theatre asked for a pantomime-horse
but they got a pantomime-pony.
Up-front was big-mouthed Bill,
at the rear was bottom-out Tony.
Tony's sure known to bottom out
when it comes down to the grand-idea,
while big-mouth-Bill talks with a shout
except when it comes to his round for beer.
Yes the theatre asked for a pantomime-horse
but they got a pantomime-pony.
A pair of midgets who are, of couse,
up-front Bill and bottom-out Tony.

for PATTAYA TRADER 142 (A)

BE-SURE-TO-CAST-MY-ASHES-
TO-THE-BREEZE-THEN-BLOWING
You can dance on my grave
when I am gone,
when I'm deathly cold
as the wintry pond
that is now a mirror
for the preening-swan.
You can dance on my grave,
I will not be there.
I've asked that my ashes
dance in the windy air.

DOCKSIDE-SIREN
His name was Tommy Taylor.
He went to sea as a sailor.
"Hi, they call me Joy.
I just love a sailor-boy,"
sang out a husky-voice.
Since he was hard-up for choice
they fumbled in the dark,
a right old Navy lark.
If the pair had been spied
Tommy Taylor should have died.
You guessed it all along,
no girl had sung the song !

A-ROSE-ROUNDED-DOOR
I'm not for settling down.
Did that when much too young.
I want to get about
and have singular fun.
Won't be glib with you.
I will not be obscure.
I don't want a cottage
with roses round the door
(until I reach the age
of the Beatles 'Sixty-four').


 A-SANDSHIFT-SAMUEL
There on the shifting sand
ancient Samuel makes his home.
Like a biblical prophet,
he squats down by the foam.
Tangled as seaweed his long-hair,
only the beach does he comb.

I'LL BE BEGGARED
There are beggars everywhere
and do I have the money to spare?
Were I to give to everyone
a beggar myself I might become !

A-SURE-SHOOTING-CALAMITY
She's a Crackshot Annie
and a Calamity Jane.
But I'm not talking bullets.
I'm talking about cocaine.
Speak of the Wild West
and I'll give you a name:
Calamity Jane, Calamity Jane.

Now what's the girl up to?
What's that in her vein?
Want to be a Wild West hero?
Then just battle with the pain
and throw away the needle
Calamity Jane, Calamity Jane.

NOISOME-NEWGATE-NUISANCES
You could bribe the prison-guard
to make your last hours less hard.
He'd bring you a mug of beer.
This you could down
in the hope that you'd drown
the haunting feeling of fear,
where the shadows stood tall
over one and all,
the gallows just beyond
their very last nightfall.

There'd be dancing and singing,
and to prison-bars clinging,
lost on the drunken regaling
or the banging of a head
on the prison-wall instead
or the lying-down-low and wailing,
where the shadows stood tall
over one and all,
the gallows just beyond
their very last nightfall.

But the gentry would voice
they were sick of the noise
that came from this beggarly lot.
Only happy that the din
would end with the swing
that followed the hangman's knot,
where the gallows stood tall
over one and all
and the shadows vanished
with the crimson morning's call.

A-TROLL-GUARDED-TREASURE
Here on these hills
don't you go loll
and make an enemy
of the hillside troll.
A witch or a warlock
can make it clear:
put a spell on yourself
and disappear.
There are giant trolls
and there are pygmy-sized.
Now you've their measure
let it be no surprise
that they guard a treasure
that dazzles the eyes.
What the treasure
you may very-well ask.
The sun is the gold
in which they bask.
Emeralds the leaves
of grass and trees.
Rubies the red-berries
about such hills as these;
yes rubies the wild-berries
around such hills as these.

for PATTAYA TR|ADER 141 (C)

TIMELY-FREE-LOVE-FIND
When Rebecca West met H.G. Wells
the latter had long before heard wedding bells.
Yet free love was in lovely Rebecca's air
and H.G. - though married - was breathing there.
How novel, how novel, his time-machine.
It might have taken them back to what could have been.
But what could have been sure was to be.
Never mind the wife, for love was free !

THE-REALLY-NASTY-NARCOTIC-
HABIT
You are a Faustian Mephistopheles.
A servant of the Lord of the Flies no less.
And you are a purely evil disease.
You are a contact for soul-selling contractees.
Each poor man an island of self-savageries
when the habit brings him to his very knees
and he pines for the cruel needle-point's firm press.

for PATTAYA TRADER 141 (B)

A-BOVARY-BUTTERFLY
She is a Madame Bovary,
in a ravishing lover's arms let her die;
end her life as a caterpillar,
for a day be a butterfly.

NEW WAY TODAY
The house was left a ruin
with bullet-holes in the door;
a fatally wounded grandad
and a dead baby on the floor.
A home-made hand-bomb
was meant to even a score.
A community gathered round
and heavy was their load.
No more turning a blind-eye
the folk who lined New Road.
The scared, the weak, the weary;
the drug-pushers, pimps and gangs;
all came with their empathy
and everyone held hands.
Today there'd be no burying
of heads in the sand.

for PATTAYA TRADER 141 (A)

THE-ALBION-ROAD-LIES-AHEAD?
When Britain was Albion
and May Day was Beltaine,
was all a white-magic?
Will it come around again?
Will Albion then justifiably
be an ark against dark rain?
Comes the storm, comes the flood,
comes the prophecy of pain
by the druids who were undone.
Will follow the road-to-Albion?

EDWIN-AND-AFTERWARDS-
EASTER-CONFLICT-YOU'LL-FIND
In Port-Mulgrave and Saltburn-by-the-sea
Hermitages-of-St-Hilda came to be
A princess and Abbess-of-Whitby she -
who challenged Rome's supreme-authority -
a Celtic-Christian from Hartlepool.
Grand-niece of the great Edwin,
he who was a York-Castle king
with most of England under his wing,
a pagan who turned Churchling,
but like Hilda was no pope's fool.

SPOUTING SEX
Sex? I can spout it:
Pretty-girl don't doubt it,
nobody gets here without it !

DISEASED-OYSTER'S-RESULT-
IN-PURE-PEARLS
I am sitting here
penning this song,
I am sitting close
to a cottage with a pond.
A mermaid, she sheds a tear.
It's a pretty pearly one.
Yes it's a pretty pearly one,
cause of an oyster's disease;
but she is sick with love
and far away from the sea.

A-SALMON-OF-WISDOM
The hazel-nuts of Truth
and of Wisdom fall
and Fintan the salmon
eats them all.
Would that we catch
Fintans by the tail
and taste of Wisdom
as did Fionn Mac Cumhail.

THE-PRETTY-THORNY-TALE
My oh my, woman,
now can you talk !
and grows your nose
like a rose-stalk.
My oh my, woman,
you can lie, I know.
Pure-truth does not go
with a female Pinocchio.

for PATTAYA TRADER 140 (D)

RUIN-AND-SPOIL
Ah Qinnevere !!
Yes, books I read them.
You brought-down Camelot
as Eve did Eden.
Women, oh women.
Still men need them,
though ruined the castle,
though spoilt the Garden.

CLEAVE TO THE LAND
The currents, cascades
of our rivers,
the sheer force and fall
of our waters
that are drink, are fluid,
for bank and dockside flowers,
while the sun spies
through the trees and towers.

Green sheep graze
on greener hills,
innocent of industry,
of man's mills,
where blind as bats
and bloody wills
is green, green nature
in her frocks and frills.

Green as the pound notes
that have gone,
green as the green-grocer
to the butcher's song
of sweet salad days
and the heart he had won
now tied to the string
of a new lover's apron.

Green as the children
in the chimeless fun-park
yet to be charmed
by the linnet and the lark.
Green to the lights
after dark
but not the star's inspiring spark.

Blind as drunkards
hell-bent on brawling,
innocent as infants
to the deviant's calling,
while prone as prostitutes
to men's mauling,
forced is the virgin
into her falling.

Forced is the virgin
into her falling
by old professions
and a new blood's roaring
just like lions at lambs,
proud and pawing,
rude as the rose
to real men's knowing.

for PATTAYA TRADER 140 (C)

CRUISE-LIKE-A-CAPTAIN-DO-I
Yo ho ho, yes yo ho ho,
round the islands off Pattaya I go.
With my naga-like-girl I surely want to swim
in the cool deep-blue-ocean below.

Yo ho ho, yes yo ho ho,
round the fleshy-beer-bars of Port-Pattaya we go.
From the Jolly Jack Tar to the Highway-Star,
while a shiny-red-eye-sun is sinking slow.

REAL-REFLECTION
The girl perches on the edge of the metallic-bath,
shaves her legs that are very-slender and long
with the so-sharp-men's-razor
which was a present to her dreary-brother.
Fells a forest of dark-hairs this rare-bird-of-joyous-song.
But rising from the edge of the metallic-bath
to admire her strange-beauty in the huge-wall-mirror,
she slips upon a soapy-damp-tiled-floor.
The now vain-and-wigless-girl looks just like her wet brother.

for PATTAYA TRADER 140 (B)

SOMETIMES-CENTAUR
Black sheep sometimes have good reason to be,
while this dark-horse, girl-rider, as you shall see,
will teach, that underneath, a stud is he !

SIAMESE-LADY-SEDUCTION
Casanova?
Romeo?
Valentino?
Duan Juan?
it's the ladies seduce
in Pattaya, old-Siam !

NAKED-EYE-VIEWS-JUST-NOT-
QUITE-NAKED-SAVAGES
Hawkeye, wrapped in his buckskins,
pinpoints Mohicans without moccasins.
Running barefoot through the trees,
hunt down the shoe-shod these.

A-QUESTING-QUINCEY-IT-IS
Thomas De Quincey
sure was no Tom Thumb,
for - being an eater
of mind-expanding opium
he chased the dragon.
His head grew bigger
till he felt like an ogre
out of Jack-the-Giant-Killer !

for PATTAYA TRADER 140 (A)

PUNTER'S-PAST-ALBION-BOAT-SONG
I am with Mr.Sillitoe
when he writes of a-punting.
Through Blake's greener England to go
where the cruel have gone fox hunting.
To hear the wild birds sound,
see a sedge-warbler or a buntin.
Yes I am with Sillitoe
when he writes of a-punting.

I am with Mr. Sillitoe
when he writes of a-punting down river.
Through Blake's greener England to go
in Britain's far sunnier weather.
To hear the wild beasts sound,
see the odd mink or rarer otter.
Yes I am with Sillitoe
when he writes of punting down river.
City boat-racers hear my song,
I am punting for far-away Albion.

THE-PIPE-SMOKING-PIP-
HE'S-CALLED
He smoked a pipe
when but a kid
and so grew up
he never did.
It stunted his growth
and now is he
not much higher
than is my knee.
He's more of a nettle
than he is a tree,
and folk round here
call him Pippy Pipey.

THE LESBOS ISLE LADY
Was the poetess Sappho
a female homo?
Was she a lesbo?
Her island's name sure says so !

for PATTAYA TRADER 139 (D)

SCOTT-WE-SURE-SCOTCHED
Whatever happened to Walter Scott?
We had loved him a lot
and now we love him not.
Oh whatever happened to Walter Scott?

AMERICAN-COWBOYS
Hiawatha and Poccochantis,
one blew wind, the other a kiss.
Peace came of that, peace came of this.
Find it is cowboys who a fight miss.

ROBBING-ROY
Rob Roy?
Robber boy in fact.
In fiction
a contradiction
and a hero at that !

THE RECORD-PLAYER-NEEDLE-NO
A child of the love-in 60s;
a flower with a record-deck;
chanced her arm with another needle
and became a 70s butterfly-wreck.

UP YOUR BRACKET
"Why not take the bus?
We always see you on foot !"
I've two-legs. What is the fuss?
Stick two-fingers into your butt !

for PATTAYA TRADER 139 (C)

IT'S-PATTAYA-CITY'S-
PROWLING-GIRL-TIGER
I'd a girl from Sri Lanka
among the Thai ladies who
like to party in old Siam,
and I'd a girl China Blue.
Her mamma married a Chinese,
and he was a policeman who
was shot dead, his child very-young;
into a wild-tiger she grew.
She's a stalking crime-of-passion
out to get her claws into you.
Mary Whitehouse spin in your grave,
my back was scratched by China Blue.

ROSY-RED-APPLE-CIDER-
SURE-WAS-LIPPY-SHE
Cider with rude-Rosie on a sunny day.
She and I sure made hay
as together in each-other's arms we lay.
While the farm-cat's away the field-mice will play !

for PATTAYA TRADER 139 (B)

A-SURELY-NOVEL-DIVISION-CHERI
Between the covers of a Colette
sure find a house-of-sin's Cheri.
But I'm in a divided house.
Pattaya's-half-a-den-of-iniquity !

YES-MOZART'S-MUSICAL-MAGIC-IT-IS
Mozart, find, was musically astute;
wowing the ladies with his magic-flute !
With his tunes he also wowed
by being a genius well endowed !

THAI FRUIT
Tell a ladyboy by his Adam's apple, ooer !
Find that I do not eat fruit, however !

IT-IS-THE-NEW-LOVER-
WHEN-A-HONEYMOON-IS-OVER
Now over is the honeymoon
it will be sunny, but not too soon.
Come to terms with being wed,
later taking a lover up to your bed !

HUMPHERY-BOGART-FIND-
I-AM-NOT-GIRL
I might have been Bogart
were I not so tall,
and were you a beauty
you might have been Becall.
No you're no plain-Jane,
but then you aren't Lauren.
Me? I'm no Humphery,
I'm too tall I'll say again.
Find that I won't say
"Here's looking at you kid",
because I just don't love you.
Probably never, not ever, did.

for PATTAYA TRADER 139 (A)

THE-THOUGHTS-ASIDE
A lateral-thinker
by far and wide,
yes-find-me-thinking
on-the-side.

The leaves
Red and gold;
Exits the young-tree,
Enters the old.

JUST-A-ONE-OFF-HORSE-
WAS-JEFFERY
Jeffery Bernard's race is run
and still there is room for just-the-one !

THE-RAKE-RICHELIEU
The Duke-de-Richelieu was a rake,
a man who was forever on the make,
with a wink, a smile and a trouser-snake.
To the wood a young-virgin he'd take,
and there his foul-lust he would slake,
with a wink, a smile and a trouser-snake.

A-PARISIAN-PARTY-PARTING
I found Pigalle in Paris, France,
lost in a city of sweet romance.
The drink and the ladies only grew sour
when I departed wine-glass and  rose-flower.

HI-HO-SILVER-GIRL
All her lovers turn out strangers.
She's a white-mare to these lone-rangers.
Yes they quickly come and quickly go.
Will the girl ever cry "Ride on Tonto !"?

for PATTAYA TRADER 138 (D)

THE-THAI-POET-PHU
'Twas Suthon Phu,
the celebrated poet who
wrote of a crystal isle
beyond the Land of Smiles.
An island that no more is,
like-Eden, Lemuria-and-Atlantis.

HYMNS-FOR-HEROES-HERE-
FIND
Find them on album tracks
or in a book's open pages.
Hymns to heroes for those who lack -
at these later times, these stages -
the courage of their own convictions
and live lives of sad-contradictions.

A-FAMILY-FUN-DAY-TRIP-OUT
Sonny's dire-catapult
and sissy's sugary-radio feature
upon this rare trip.
A day out to bond with nature.

Daddy's got his gun,
mummy her Home magazine.
Granny wants to get back
for Coronation Street to be seen.

FICKLE-FOLK-FIND
It's too cold or too hot
or it is far too wet.
It is much too dull
or much too colourful.
The weather isn't perfect,
and people - too - are not !

ERICA JONG
"Fear-of-Flying," says his wife,
"is-not-the-way-on-How-To-Save-Your-Own-Life."

A POETESS JOOLZ PIECE
"Men just like to buy," we hear you say.
But women sure do like to shop, Joolz, don't they?!

for PATTAYA TRADER 138 (C)

CHILD-ALICE'S-RELATIONS
A piece-of-poetry
is subject-to-relativity,
and through which
only some may pass
just like young-Alice
with the looking glass.

GASTON'S GHOSTS
You made a phantom of me
after I made a rose of you.
We-might-have-been-a-novel
by the author Gaston Leroux.

I'm being too theatrical,
yes I am being all show.
You and I are ghosts, girl,
in the play-palace of long ago.

YES-A-VERY-COLOURFUL-
LIFE'S-VIEW
One a redhead,
one is a blonde.
One a brunette.
With all I bond.

Sure tell me do
O bleached-white bones
why find you fault
come the skin tones?

FAR-OFF-STAR-LOVER-
VERSE-YES
Loved you best
when viewed from afar.
Mine was always
that distant star.

for PATTAYA TRADER 138 (B)

VERY-PERVERSE-VAMPIRE-
VERSE-POEM
She was no kind Marcilla,
almost the reverse was true.
She was a Carmilla Karnstein
by clever Sheridan Le Fanu.
Yes find a cruel vampire she
who'd suck my blood so perversely.

KAISER-MISCHIEFS-YOU-
SURE-NOW-CAN-FIND
It sure was a funny carry on
that led us up into World War One.
Those with no conspirital beliefs,
look to the episode with  Kaiser Chiefs !

PERSIAN-POEM-PIECE
Rhubaiyat of Omar Khayyam?
Beneath a palm with pretty-girls sat
and plenty bottles of plonk.
I can go drink to that !

A-CONVENT-TAKEN-OVER-
BY-SATANIC-DESIRES?
The Loudun nuns
were by devils overrun?
By human-lust overtaken
in a too chaste haven !

for PATTAYA TRADER 138 (A)

AN-ANGLER
I cast before you my verse-lines
because I've got lots of things to say.
Views from-various-angles find.
I will cast the-very-big-one-some-day  !

A-REAL-VOLCANIC-
WOMAN-VERSE
Under the Volcano,
it's a novel I say,
while a television comedy
was Up Pompeii.
Above or below,
up or even under,
should I seek erruptions
lady I've sure your number !

YES-A-PEN-SWORD'S-
DOUBLE-EDGE
I cut this way, I cut  that way, oh-Lord !
I just slice with-a-double-edged-sword.

THE-BARD-BILLY'S-NOW-
DOWNRIGHT-PRETTY-PLAYS
Willy-Shakespeare an upstart crow?
More like a cock putting-on a pretty-show !

A-FADED-ROSE-FLOWER-
VOICE-OF-FRANCE-NOW
Live the Rose, Pief.
Live the Rose !
The-blind-to-beauty
and-to-sound-the-deaf,
let-us-pity-those.

A-MINISTER'S-CONTROVERSIAL-
VERBAL-INTERCOURSE-WITH-
HIS-SHADY-MISTRESS
"Ah yes the Profumo Affair,
the scandal lingered in the air
like perfume or the smell of Pimms,
the cover-up a very flimsy-thing
like lingerie you now discard
and hang on a peg called Ward."

for PATTAYA TRADER 137 (D)

TIDES-AND-TIMES
Dylan Thomas sang, he said,
in his chains like-the-sea.
Don't we come-in-and-out-go,
at times high, at times low,
changing in our chains as does she?

URANUS
Spirit of wisdom upon the water
carried by air-sign Aquarius?
I look to a new-golden-age
and yet I find before us
those who would only let pass
a stinky-stifling-kind of gas !

THE-DYNAMIC-DANCE-
OF-SHIVA
Shiva does the cosmic-dance
and Pythagoras's surely-good-ears
receive the sounds of tapping-feet
and lo ! it is his music of the spheres.

THE MAN'S P. O. MESSAGE
The 'Post-Office' poet's now left his stamp,
not being a one for pigeon-holes.
Read by daylight or nighttime-lamp.
Laugh at the novel's uniformity of roles.

JESTER-DAY
Laugh buffoon; laugh out jester.
All your fears you would drown in tears
now belong to yester.

correction:

NO-ZODIAC-SIGN-READER-CURE

for PATTAYA TRADER 137 (C)

NO-ZODIAC-READER-CURE
Looking at the stars for far-too-long
you spy potatoes walking on the moon.
Your girlfriend the so-pale-ghost
says the-men-in-white-coats will take you soon,
while all my pals the fairy-folk
tell me you are obviously a loon
and that next-door's pet dragon
runs wild at the sounds from your room.
Pick-up your daily newspaper now
and go read your horoscope:
'He who spies potatoes walking on the moon
is beyond all help but beyond all hope' !

SMELLING PISTAKES
Spelling mistakes?
Ah my words I'd chance
even with errors in my verse.
It's surely not ignorance !

A COSMIC CRUSADER
The Way of the Warrior
is found to be your credo.
You're a samurai for sure,
pertaining to the bushido.
But only in the Trantic-field.
A swordsman with a higher wield.

INSIGHT
Look-to-the-oracle-within.
Read-there-your-own-I-Ching
through-your-third-eye-now-opening.
Find-it's-yourself-who's-answering.

for PATTAYA TRADER 137 (B)

SLEEPLESS-OVERWORKED-
POOR-MAN'S-VENGEAFUL-
MORNING-PRAYER
"Now breaks the dawn
and don't I know it !
The colourful cock
is about to crow it !
Later, in the coop -
fed on corn and crumbs -
he'll strut around so-proud,
lord of the  chicken-run.
And there in his harem,
the choice of any she,
I'd cock-a-doodle-doo
had I plenty as he !
No work to do
other than praise the sun
and grow fat on pleasure.
Just wait till Christmas comes !"

YES-COMEDIAN-TOMMY-
KNOCKED-DOWN-AND-OUT-
POOR-BOXER-HENRY-COOPER
Henry told him "Don't like your fez."
Tommy replied "Don't care what you sez."
But then he knockrd Henry down-flat.
One Cooper gone-out. Just like that !

A-TIMELESS-TEEN-PIECE-
OF-WORK
A Clockwork-Orange?
It's real horrorshow.
Anthony Burgess?
The author, don't y'know.
His-time-was-fruitious
and-the-novel-very-delicious !

ON-THE-MASTER-AND-
MARGARITA
By the feet of the Master
was placed a Margarita.
"The taste of you," he said
"I've got no thought sweeter.
But then this is Russia
and I'm a devil for pure-Vodka !"

for PATTAYA TRADER 137 (A)

THE-PROSPEROUS-PROSPERO'S-
SO-DREAMY-DAUGHTER
Wizard on an island,
Prospero the island-man;
along with Ariel the fairy
and monstrous Caliban.
Miranda, ah Miranda,
daughter of Prospero;
such stuff as dreams are made of:
your father tells us so.

IT'S-NOT-EVEN-ANGELS-
FEEL-FIT-TO-GO-TO-HIGHER-HEAVEN
The nuns borded the plane like penguins
on their way to Rome's much warmer clime.
Black-and-white-robed this flock of virgins
there above the clouds, in the sunshine,
far-nearer to heaven than earthly-things.
Then came a turbulence, now shudderings.
They prayed like hell. Not yet ready for angel-wings !

NO-BALDERDASH-WAS-
ARNOLD'S-SURE
Poet Arnold knew his Norse,
he climbed upon dead Balder's horse
and through-magic-trees-of-ash
the poet was then to dash,
and leave us with the verse-lines
that told of very-old Nordic times.

JOLLY-OLD-ROGER
"Aye lass,
got ye in me spyglass.
Yer beauty do-I-encompass.
I'm yer pistol and yer cutlass !"

for PATTAYA TRADER 136 (C)

YEATS-GAVE-THE-NUMBER-OF-
THE-BEAST-THE-TRULY-GOLD-BOOT
Next to Crowley in a pyramid-hat,
the poet Yeats closely sat
and gave a tired yawn
in the Temple of the Golden Dawn,
"Time to leave us Mr Beast."
It was upon hearing that
666 left. Find he went East.

THE-RUDE-MECHANIC-
WAS-BOTTOM
Ah Bottom, he of the mechanic-class,
was to amuse the Bard's fairy-queen.
Is not a bottom also an ass?
And as an ass was he not seen?
Every royal-court had its clown-fool,
ewven in a midsummer's-dream.
The mechanic was, too, his tool,
titillating Titania it would seem !

IT-IS-A-DRUNK-DIVER'S-MORNING-
AFTER-FIND
The Walking Street Blues Factory blues
after a night out on the booze?
And after a flippery diving in
(pertaining to your pink-dolphin)
with somebody soft-and-feminine
further setting your head aswim?
Then this verse-poem may not amuse !

TO-D.H.L.
Tom foolery
and Tom Thumb.
Tom tit, Tom cat
and tom-tom drum.
John Thomas
has just come.

POTTER-PLAY
Her breasts are Blue Remembered Hills.
Brimstone and Treacle leave a trail.
Bedevilled by the girl's Black Eyes
Singing Detectives are on her tail.

YES-A-LADY'S-CRUELLY-
CODED-MESSAGE
Mysterious as the Gaelic chapel,
this is what she thought he meant.
A priceless treasure it was,
the missive the girl was sent.
If only she knew in Old English
rose-lin's the spelling of horse-serpent !

BEASTLY-COLD-CAN-BE-
BRITAIN-YES
Pelican-crossings, zebra-crossings too;
you'd think that England was an open-zoo.
Especially when we're huddled-up together
in the brrrr... brass-monkey-weather !

for PATTAYA TRADER 136 (B)

A GREEN-NAMES-GAME-NO
Call him the Green Knight
or the wood's Green Man.
Call him Robin Goodfellow
or call him the man-god Bran.
Call him Lord of the May-Games;
after all, what's in a name?

A REAL-ROAD-TO-OZ
A yellowy-brick-road?
The ruby shoes?
An Emerald City?
Ah gold-and-jewels !

Brain and courage?
A human heart?
With all three
you've a rich-start !

A-BOG-KING-FROG-FAGIN-IS
Deep-down in London's Mudfog
Fagin never prince, ever frog,
pickpocketeer and foul-underdog,
utmost-greedy-king of the bog.

POOK-HILL-PUCK-WHY-YES
Pucker-lipped Puck atop your hill,
now you pout over the wand-waving-mite
who, painty-winged below your pinnacle
rises to make you look a fairy-fright !

YES-DIVINE-KALI'S-DARK-DEATH-DANCE-
BEHOLDS-HER-SO-DARING-
MALE-DECEIVER !
A girdle of heads she wears,
the dark goddess of death.
Ah yes the dance of doom is hers,
she'll surely drain the breath
of any-man whom in Kali does belive.
Of any-man who Kali would-dare-so-deceive.

for PATTAYA TRADER 136 (A)

LOVE'S-YOUNG-DREAM-
ISLAND-YES
She had a savage soul
and he a heathen heart,
for-each-their-eyes
the-other-idolized
and from the rest lived
as if love was apart.

YES-A-COMPOSITION-COMPETITOR
Through The Jungle Book you are journeying
as you've done many times before.
You're now The Man who would Be King
and not a small-boy any more.
Shaping-up to the authorship of Kipling
you observe only life's jungle law.

THE-OLDEST-PROFESSION-YOU'LL-FIND-
IN-PATTAYA'S-HOT-CITY-TOO-CHERI
From between the covers of a Colette
every foreign-young-man is a Cheri
whom the pretty-girls are out to get.
A den of sin Pattaya City?
Some will surely live to regret.
Some may die to be here yet !

for PATTAYA TRADER 135 (C)

IT'S-CLEARLY-NOT-SO-MAD-MONK-
RASPUTIN
Did his nose twitch,
and did his eyes gleam
when they fell upon
the country of Russia's queen?
Did his fingers itch,
and did his head dream
of being a royal, if black swan
midst the regal team?
Ah Grigori, how you rose
from your humble beginnings
to influence the State,
to influence Russia's queen-and-king.
Ah Rasputin, in monk's-cothes,
courtly-ladies were your winnings
and death by murder your fate;
poison, pistol-bullet or drowning?
Yet you'd spied - as through a glass -
all that was now coming to pass.

for PATTAYA TRADER 135 (B)

POETIC-CAPTAIN-AND-
PIRATICALLY-DANGEROUS-DEAD-
MAN'S-GHOST?
You may have deduced
that I am tall,
gray-blue eyed
and off-the-wall.
That in my humour
I can be dark
and that - of course -
I am Captain Mark.
You have got this
from my poetry alone.
I will sail now
or-cross-bones-with-Davy-Jones?!

UNDERLINING-POETRY-
TITLES-MINE
"With-often-very-long-titles
to shortish-verse-lines,
this uppity guy turns poems on their head
and damn-well undermines !"

INNUENDO
Guess I am a Silly-Billy-o
but you are no-friend-o.
Find that I tell you to go,
so up with-your-end-o !

THE-NOISOME-HUMAN-ZOO'S-
ATTENDANTS?
Ying said to Yan
"We are one yet two.
You're part of me
and I'm part of you.
I talk to myself
when I talk to you.
Let's make a third
who's noisy as a zoo."

MR-ARTY-FARTY-BOBBY-
SHILLINGS
There was once a mister
who thought himself smart.
He cut himself in two
while calling it art.
Folk said "Hey up Robert,
you're a two bob fart !"

FIND-IT'S-VERY-MALICIOUS-
GUYS-WHO-SHOULD-REALLY-
GO-AND-LAUGH-AT-THEMSELVES
You are malign with a cruel-hook
you use when heavily baiting.
Find I'm benign, with a lighter-look,
and very-self-deprecating !

for PATTAYA TRADER 135 (A)

YES-A-NIGHT-CLUB'S-
HOWLING-HOT-BEAUTIES
Rub-a-dub-scrub
after the Cyote-Club,
wash-off-the-dirty-sweat
with the bar-girl in your tub,
If this is lust, lust's sure the drug.
Pattaya is a howl? Yes, you bet !

YES-A-WELL-KNOWN-ACTOR-
IS-CURRENTLY-NEWS-NO-MORE
You are yesterday's news
and today's fish-and-chip wrapper.
You can go out on the booze
while looking all dapper;
get drunk and hang-loose
with a dirty old-slapper.
It's now the reporters' turn to act shy.
You chased the cameras when an unknown guy.

YES-A-REDDY-DOLPHIN'S-
LADY-RIDER-FIND
She calls it her pink-dolphin.
Her head is pretty much aswim.
It slides out, up-and-in.
She is so attached to him,
and he's sure-a-part of her lover.
Damn, what a fabulous diver !

IT-WAS-QUITE-THE-DREAMY-
STRANGE-POETIC-JUSTICE-OH-YES
First came the sun Verlaine,
but soon to follow was the rain,
The poet Rimbaud was so crass
as to wipe your poems on his ass.
The fired-gun was no fun-game.

Good and bad, the strange dreams come:
two lovers rolling together as one
upon the feathers, upon the stones;
upon rose-petals, upon cruel-thorns.
Two lizards on a rock in the sun.

for PATTAYA TRADER 134 (C)

TREASURED-NOT-IS-COOLED-
YOUNG-DRUNKEN-ISLAND-MAN
Yo ho ho ho, yo ho ho ho,
row rum-boy; rum-boy row.
'No-man-is-and-island'-a-poet's-writ,
till-company-says "Go drunkard, go !!"

BEDAZZLED
A wizard with the joky word
and a master of the comic look;
pure-genius could be seen and heard
when sat before famed Peter Cook !

A-SPACED-OUT, NO-PLACE, GO-GO-GIRL
You're surely a shamanic girl,
I see the way that you dance
as if to the beat of the bongos
while pretty much in a spirit-trance.
Yes you surely are shamanic,
can you hear your ancestors call?
You're dancing on the otherside.
This side is nowhere at all.

THE-SO-VERY-SHY-VIRGIN-
SURE-CAN'T-ASK-AS-TO-WHY
He is no Casanova,
He is no Valentino.
And no, no, no,
he is not a Romeo.
Virginally white as an albino
the boy is much-too-shy
even to ask-himself just "Why?" !

YES-THE-HOUDINI-FREED-
HIMSELF-FROM-WEDLOCK'S-CRUEL-FATE
He sure has to be a Houdini
to break free from his chains.
Yes he sure has to be a Houdini.
Why'd he ever go-to-such-pains
as to bind himself to one;
a light-headed-girl, pretty-heavy-bond !

for PATTAYA TRADER 134 (B)

FRANKENSTEIN'S-GHOST
I wrote you a poem
off the top-of-my-head
and away with you
my verse then sped
(my imagination ran away with you).
You didn't like poetry,
or so you had said.
What a monster this
to steal you from your bed,
take you where wild-flowers grew.
While birds in the trees
sang above your head
behind the verse-lines
you then read
with the morning shining through.
Now you are back,
very-safe in bed,
my poem in your hand -
though the phantom fled -
saying that you like poetry too.

A-VENUS-VIEWING-VOYAGER
I'm on a voyage-of-discovery.
The naked transit of Venus I don't overlook
as she stoops to lie very-close to me.
Call me Captain James, I'm starting-to-cook !

THE-HIGHROADSTER-TREADS-
THOUGHTFULLY-YOU-WILL-FIND
"I have no home, no castle,
though I dwell in a tower
of thought. Nature's my garden.
Come the gold-sun or silver-shower
more than enough's sure been my lot.
With a king's heavy crown burden me not.

for PATTAYA TRADER 134 (A)

TURNING-TURTLE
I'm of the opinion
of the-wise-old-race
who said that we travel
through the sea of space
on the back of a turtle.
Yes so very wise !
Don't we - in turn - carry it
when all our hopes capsize?

OUR-SHADOWY-WORLD'S-
LEGENDS-YES
Don't we know our legends well.
There is Robin Hood and William Tell.
There's Ned Kelly and Ben Hall.
Such as these sure stand so-tall
where larger shadows are seen to dwell.

LOTUS-GOLD'S-WISE-ONE
Bud, just bud, budding-beauty,
golden-lotus mid pink and blue.
Bud, just bud, for he the Buddha
gentle-flower wet with a dew
like joyous tears from houri eyes
who dance for one-so-greatly-wise.

A-SNOWY-WHITE-
ICY-HEARTED-QUEEN
Here comes the Snow-Queen.
She is a lovely-virgin-white
but with a heart of ice,
her sled pulled by a team
of dog-like men who -
desiring what they can't obtain
place about their necks the chain
that lust would bind-them-to.

A-MONIED-MOBSTER'S-MOLL
The girl is no China-doll,
more a hard-knock gangster's-moll
with a pistol in her stocking-top.
She's the type takes a ride
with charming devils, all called Clyde,
who don't know when to stop.
Poverty's not hers be it understood;
she was high-born with bad-blood.

COLD-HUSBAND'S-DEATH-
GRADUALLY-DAWNS-ON-
DRINK-IN-HAND-GIRL
She is having a stiff-one.
Yes she is having a stiff-gin.
If only on her honeymoon
rigor mortis had set in
a good time in the bedroom
might well have been had.
Now there's her husband
lying cold on a slab.
Drink-up, cheery-girl,
he's dead; find he's gone.
Like Jeffery Bernard
have more than "Just the one" !!

for PATTAYA TRADER 133 (C)

JUST-THE-CHANGELING-
CHILD
He ached to write poetry,
"For surely a poet I am.
I might be just a child
with a pen in his hand,
but words I can transform,
as a boy changes into a man."

THE-PIPE-DREAMING-MAN'S-
PUT-OUT-LADY-DANCER
With her dancing shoes
and a lovely voice to sing
she is very-alive, but damn;
her husband's so-tired from working.
Find he's such-a-pipe-and-slippers-man.

THE-POOR-TEEN-BUYS-INTO-
THE-TOPMOST-DREAMS
Found-reading, in her blue jeans,
rock-journals and music-magazines;
the girl is another one-of-the-teens
sold on super-rich spotlight-dreams;
for she is just a shop-girl
and not a Top-of-the-Pops girl.

for PATTAYA TRADER 133 (B)

HERE'S-TO-A-HOTEL-CHELSEA'S-
CHOSEN-FAMOUS-FEW
The Chelsea Hotel,
Cohen sure met Nico there.
They took the elevator
and climbed-up heaven's stairs.
Lenny didn't meet Dylan
for Thomas was long-before
with his pints and his poetry,
empty-bottles on the floor.
Cohen did meet Joplin
and put her in a song.
Wow, Nico and Janis;
like the hotel dead and gone.

GET-OUT-REAL-QUICK-YOU-
MIND-BLOWING-GIRL
When she and her partner come to blows
the girl inhales a powder-up-her-nose.
A damn-fast high? Get-off-on-speedy-toes !!

THE-WORDSMITH-WORDSWORTH
I hear the-poet-Wordsworth
was a guy-with-an-odd-gait
who skated like a poor cow.
Can't say I've seen a cow skate !

FAME-ABOVE-FORTUNE-IT-IS
She said "You have panache
even-if-strapped-for-cash,
and you are so-prolific.
Everybody has his price
yet you've told me more than twice -
and yes to be specific -
a poet is not worthy of the name
should he seek fortune over fame."

BROOKE-BATTLED-WITH-
CRUEL-WAR'S-DAMN-MISTAKE
Find he'd the handsome-look
of young war-poet Brooke,
and she was as pretty as the flower in her hair.
She might have been an island-girl
from the South Sea part of the world
and the bloody-war for peacetime mistook.

FLYING-IS-FISHY?
"Were men meant to fly
they'd have been born with wings."
So, were men meant to swim
they'd have been born with fins?

THE-WHISTLERING-WIND
Whistling down the ages -
like a wind through the pages
of a book on his work -
Whistler whistled down
as from a tower above a town
into the hardness of the earth.

for PATTAYA TRADER 133 (A)

CLERICAL-ERRORS?
Was there a Pope-Joan?
Was there a Joan-the-Pope?
A woman all alone
disguised-as-a-man-in-the-hope
her clerics could not see clear
and that she was pregnant with fear?

AN-OPEN-UP-EPIGRAM
Best to have a far-too-open-mind,
let your brain out your head fall,
than to have a mind so closed
there appears to be no brain at all !

DEATH-TO-THE-SOLITARY-
DRUMMER-WAS-FEMALE-SPY
Some call them secret agents.
Find some call them spies.
Every country has them.
Carve her name with pride.
There in the Nazi death-camps
Jews, gypsies and others fried
be they very-young or old.
Carve her name with pride.
March to the beat of one-drum
or kneel down side by side.
She knelt and she was shot.
Carve her name with pride.

TAKING-NOT-A-SECOND-LOOK-
AT-DEAR-MOTHER-NATURE
The animated 'Jimini Cricket'.
The literary 'Roebuck-in-the-thicket'.
We've many films, we've many books.
Who - at real nature - takes a further look?

AN-ACT-ALL-TOO-FAMILIAR-
FIND
Birds of a feather
flock together,
but opposites attract.
I sat across from a pretty-girl
and ached for the-familiar-act.

SEXY-SARTRE-PIECE
Simone-Beauvoir
was known as the Beaver.
Busy with a body of work
or-being-Jean-Paul's-receiver?

UNCERTAIN-TIMES-YES
Francis Bacon's New Atlantis?
The Utopia of Thomas More?
The only thing for certain is
that nobody's certain what's in store.

for PATTAYA TRADER 132 (C)

A-DEAD-COLD-SNOWMAN
He used to use 'snow'.
Folk called him the yeti.
I called him the Eskimo.
He-ran-off-with-a-girl-named-Betty.
They lived in an igloo
having married. Life-was-cold.
He ended-up dead; ended-up blue.
Only-drug-free-Betty-will-grow-old.

A-CYCLIC-SEA-AND-
CIRCULAR-SEASONS
Had we A-Gift-of-Wings
like Johnathan Livingston Seagull
we might fly the higher,
fly the straighter,
than we do in life's circle.

We've not A-Gift-of-Wings
but we wheel just like any gull
a food-morsel has spied
there at the low-tide
of the push-and-pull-cycle.

THE-SO-GRIM-REAPER
Death is on the stairs,
he has come to call.
The priest utters a prayer
conscious of the creeping footfall.
The dying-woman gives-up-her-ghost.
The very-grim-guest reaps his host.

A-NATTERJACK-TYPE
You're like the natterjack-toad,
you love giving us voice
hunched there in your corner.
You sure make a lot of noise.
A yellow-line right down your back.
Done nothing, been nowhere, you natterjack.

for PATTAYA TRADER 132 (B)

THE_SUBURBIAN-SMITHS-
CAN'TT-KEEP-UP-WITH-THE-
JONES-FAMILY-FIND
Not pot, but-made-of-plastic,
that's what your poor garden gnome is.
You the artificial Smith family
won't ever outdo the more-upper-Joneses !

A-VERY-DRIVEN-
VAGABOND-VERSE
W.H. Davies, the poet,
was to up and-then-decamp,
take to the veeering road
and become a supertramp.

IN-OR-OUT-AND-UP-OR-DOWN?
Down-and-put-out-in-London-and-Paris,
or up-and-inside-your-towering-metropolis?

ANAGRAM-EPIGRAM
Mark-Beevers. A-Verse-Maker-Be
is the very anagram of me.

IT'S-A-GRIM-FAIRYSTORY
The ugly witch locked you out
and friends won't let you in.
Magically you circle about.
Still your situation sure looks Grimms.

A-SPIRITUAL-MATTER-
FOR-THE-NON-MONKS-FIND
The rich-Christian and fortunate-Buddhist,
what of their wealth do they share?
Do they give-up of their belongings?
The only blessings that they wear
are those of material possessions
for which a proud-Devil may care.

THE-FORWARD-ROAD-
FOREVER
You are at a crossroads,
there is no turning back.
A voice within the wind says
"Choose-one-of-the-three-tracks."
The scarecrow in the field says
"A-man-of-straw's-behind-this-mask.
Do-not-wait-far-too-long,
and-do-not-be-side-tracked."

for PATTAYA TRADER 132 (A)

FIND-LIFE-IS-A-FIRST-
AND-LAST-DAY
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
Today is tomorrow's yesterday.
One day joy; one day sorrow.
One day is all days, anyway.

WHAT-A-CARRY-ON-QUASIMODO
You carry a hump this life-long-day,
and in your head are clappers that clang.
The bells !! The bells !! They have their way.
You feel like the hunchback of Notre-Dame.

TRUTH-AND-THE-LONELY-
LAWMAN
I once knew a lawyer,
a just and honest man,
who when it came to truth
said "Let politics go hang."
My party wrong or right,
my country right or wrong,
was not of his thinking,
though find a thoughtful-one.

A DAYTIME'S ROBBERY
There are the twilight twitters
from the-birds-about-the-eaves,
and there is a lonely sparrow
who for the daylight quietly grieves.
It's as if a thieving magpie
the light had come to thieve.

THE PANDA-EYED-LIKE  PAULA
Like a panda - from China -
bound in her man's zoo;
Paula's dark around the eyes,
he beats her black and blue.
Oh very far away land
of rice and of bamboo
there is an English girl
that over your sunrise chews.

for PATTAYA TRADER 131 (B)

THE-VERSE-POET-AND-THE-
ROSE-FLOWER-OF-PROSE
The Svengali-poet
turned-out the verseful-rose.
The girl would then betray him
when the flower turned to prose.

CINDERELLA'S-LONDON-
TOWN-STORY
The fact she is on the dole
won't bring this Cinders down,
she shall go to the city ball
and wear a borrowed gown.
The disco lights shall shine,
she will twirl, twirl, flop,
high on cheap red wine
from the street corner shop.
How she shall dance,
how she will sing,
find a little romance,
make the world look like a pumpkin.

GO-CRY-SHARK-IN-
SHOWERY-WET-ENGLAND
All tell your sons
and warn your daughters,
shark-infested
are the cruel waters.
The lifeguard goes
without his shotgun,
while the whole beach
lacks a golden sun.
Up to the knees
in a bloody slaughter,
shark-infested
is the cruel water.

GUNPOWDER PETE
The bloody war
was to leave Pete with a scar
and a wooden peg-leg.
A lost look in his eye,
he now has to eat humble pie
on the street where other men also beg.
Not an explosion of laughs
are his war's aftermaths
but they are a potential powder-keg.

HOPPED-A-BUNNY-GIRL-TO-
THE-POETICALLY-SURREAL-
UNDERGROUND-SCENE
The magician was to put his hand
in the upturned top-hat,
while the jumpy rabbit inside
wouldn't have any of that.
It bolted along the lengthy tunnel
that was the big hat's top,
down to the poetry underworld
the rabbit was then to hop.
"Welcome to our Wonderland,"
said the magic poetry lines
that were written on the walls
of that shiny diamond mine.
But almost an eternity later
the rabbit just had to go,
and header for a spotlight
like that in the stage magician's show.
Yet the grand circle of light
was the tunnel's very end come,
and the rabbit was to exit
to the loud applause of everyone.
The people were now fluffy bunnies ...
what conjurer's trick? What scheming?
The rabbit had to pinch itself,
but the child Alice awoke from her dreaming.

for PATTAYA TRADER 131 (A)

THE-TINY-BUG-
ON-THE-BIG-RUG
Like a character
out of a novel by Kafka
you metamorph into a bug.
Trophy heads on the wall
from down in the hall
up to the bearskin rug
there beneath your feet.
You don't kill to eat,
you kill for the fun.
The lion, boar and stag,
the beasts that you bag,
see the insect you've become.

BRENDA-THE-BOHEMIAN-YES
A boho
in Soho;
strip-artist she.
Wander,
I wonder,
her mind free
of eyes
like flies
stuck on her body?

TRACKING-DOWN-THE-
MUCKY-DEALER-YES
You shoulder a burden
as you pitch your tent,
for have you not purchased
a big white elephant?
You came by money easily
though you speak of working-hard.
I look to the past and see
dirty-dealings in your backyard.
Yes dirty-dealings in your yard out-back.
The debt-hunters are right on track.

THE OLD RHINO
There was an aged-rhinoceros
who was just pompous and preposterous.
Another, yet-unasked-for, horn
was thrust-up his ass by a fabulous unicorn.

THE-BOY-IN-BLUE
The cop took out his truncheon,
were it a sausage for their luncheon,
the crook caught with his trousers down
wouldn't have worn such a frown !

for PATTAYA TRADER 130 (B)

A-WOMAN-WRECKED
She's worn and weary
and old of age;
lonely, going loopy.
Jim perches in his cage.

"Jim lad," he chirps.
The parrot looks around.
Oh the poor old lass,
find her life's ship runs aground.

VINCENT-VAN-GOGH'S-
GHOSTLY-MAD-VOICES
Windmills, tulips
and Dutchmen's cheese,
cut-off-an-ear
with less-than-perfect-ease.
Smell and taste
and eyes to see,
what was one ear?
Vincent heard voices internally.

A MERLIN  MAGIC
The moon goes round
just like a crystal ball
as through the trees
an owl is heard to call.
It takes to the sky
with a brush of wing,
riding on its back
is a hobgoblin.

Let down your hair
my dear sweet child,
kick off your shoes,
the eyes are wild.
Dance, yes dance,
my pretty gypsy queen,
with the very magic
that Merlin has never seen.

SLEEPING BEAUTY
Off she goes to her beauty-sleep.
The shallow girl's vanity find is deep.

BAD-BOY-BILL
A Billy-be-damn?
A Billy-no-good?
Too-young-and-handsome
weren't you, Billy-Budd.

for PATTAYA TRADER 130 (A)

DIVERSE DIRECTIONS
You might be a Genghis Khan
or even a Che Guvera.
Dali the great showman
or Todd the demon-barber.
You might be a hungry-poet
in just the Chatterton mould
or you might be an ugly-threat
to all the forts in gold.
Who is it then now knocks
upon the woman-wombish-door
to lie in death's-closed-box
when life's breath is no more?

RAPUNZEL
Lady I will take my leave,
you can scream from the top of your tower,
fill the moat to the brim with tears,
but I'll be gone within the hour.
You can cry till the dragons come home,
pull out by the roots your long golden hair,
make plaits for a new brave knight to climb,
yet the castle bridge is drawn on our affair.

CLEO CALL
I call you Cleopatra
and kiss your eyelids.
You are a burning desert
as I trace your pyramids.

I call you Cleopatra,
and your sandy thigh caress.
You call me your oasis.
Later I'll watch you dress.

WILLY-BLAKE-AND-
A-KID-BILLY
The kid went for his gun
and Blake for his pen;
the kid was just death,
Blake life to men.
The kid was a killer,
while Blake let live;
the kid was a taker,
Blake had a lot to give.
The kid died from a bullet
and became a legend;
Blake of old age,
wisdom flowed out his pen.

A-SO-TALL-GULLIVER-
GIRL'S-TRAVELS
There by York's Little Shambles -
the baby of the bigger mart -
a Gulliver girl in her ambles
sure upset the apple-cart
when the keepers of a stall -
very-mean and tiny-minded -
could have felled a girl that tall
and her arms and legs have binded
for looking-down on what they sold
as old rope at the price of gold.

FAREWELL-GIRLFRIEND-
GO-NOW-DO-I
Goodbye girl, I am going solo,
I'm an adventurous Marco Polo
out here in the Far-South-East.
Yet I'm something of a boho,
or something of an Edgar Allan Poe
but drunk only at this moveable feast.
Goodbye girl, for time quick passes
while you sit-and-hide-behind-sunglasses.

DESTINY
You missed your stop.
You missed your station.
You travel through life
having missed your vocation.
A vacancy open to verse
was this poet's destination.

for PATTAYA TRADER 129 (B)

IT'S-BARS-AND-BUTTERFLY-
MEN-FIND
You've heard about the Mothman
who flutters around America?
In Siam men are butterflies -
say the ladies in the bar -
who flit from flower to flower
or rather from girl to girl.
Bar ladies do not do that
here in their fantasy world !

JUST-FALLEN-ANGELS-
IN-THE-FLESH?
Britain's Angel of the North
is a tourist attraction,
but the numbers it must pull
are surely only a fraction
to what the Thai ladies pull
with their ready smiles and glances -
in the beer-bars of Pattaya -
and far less steely stances.

KICKED-HIGH-THE-DANCERS-
THEIR-LONG-LEGS
High-kicking girls of the can-can,
under your spell was the-crippled-dwarf-like-man.
Fit ladies dancing on the deck.
Fine frames for the painter Tolouse-Lautrec.

A HOOKER
In her fishnet stockings
by the park gate,
the girl's the hook
and she's the bait,
and if your appetite
has been whetted,
you'll be hooked
as well as netted !

FISHING-FOR-WORD-OF-
A-PAST-AND-FUTURE-KING?
A kingfisher is on the wing
to the home of a Fisher-King
who's the guardian of the holy-grail.
The bird is swift in its flight
to the home of the noble knight
and it carries such a tale.
Of what will the kingfisher speak?
What words come-forth its beak,
bird that is gifted so?
Shall it speak of Arthur woken?
Merlin from his cave out-broken?
Morgan-le-Fay's new heart of icy-snow?

for PATTAYA TRADER 129 (A)

END-OF-BLACK-SLAVERY-
ENFORCED
Throughout the British empire
the slave trade ran its course;
the ship to smash-on-the-rocks
when stormed aWilliam-Wilberforce.

A-CROSSWIND-SKAG-
AND-BONE-MAN
His coat is but a filthy rag
upon a pole of bone,
its tail flapping like a flag
in the gust. The guy's wind-blown.
Blown-away - too - by skag.

GENERALLY-GOING-BELOW-
GROUND-AROUND-LONDON-TOWN
There on a London Underground train
a guy is touching up-close girls again.
A pickpocket, too, has his claw
inside a coat, eye on the door
like a hawk, surely ready to fly
at-the-next-stop, where some will try
to board the coach already full
with passengers who'd gladly pull
an emergency chord so as to bring
a halt to the very-suffocating
idea that they all are bound
never to emerge from the underground.

A-PISSED-PICASSO
You think yourself something,
well let me tell you this:
you're a picture by Picasso who
painted-you-while-on-the-piss !

COMETH-A-MAROONED-
UNEARTHLY-SPACE-CAPTAIN'S-
NON-DESCRIMINATING-CALL
"Like strangers in a strange land
to the earth we were to fall.
The planet from which we came
bears no resemblance to yours at all.
You are white-folk and black,
you are tiny folk and tall,
you have male and female-folk
we are purple hermaphrodites one-size-all,"
is the grounded-cosmic-captain's unbiased call.

THE-LOU-REED-ALBUM-TRACK-
WOMAN-I-CAN-BETTER-DO-
WITHOUT
She was a cryptic song from Dylan.
She was a personal song from Lennon
and a love song from Cohen.
What I surely didn't need
was to find her a street song from Reed !

WITH-A-FAIRY-GREEN-IS-EVER-
AWAY-THE-WANDERING-
ARTISTIC-GUY
Absinthe for breakfast, dinner and tea,
the guy's always away with the green fairy.
I think you might know the man,
he claims to be an arty bohemian.
"Don't bottle up the magic," says he,
"see  the pictures the best way you damn well can."

A-PARADISICAL-PATTAYA'S-
PARASITES
Phantom fiddlers are surely all-around
to fiddle you out of baht, dollar and pound.
Of the phantoms' music best beware
or they're gone with your money, up into thin-air.
I read the Pattaya People Weekly news
and get the Walking Street Blues Factory blues,
sat at the breakfast table with a frothy beer
wishing last night's bar-lady was still here.

EN-ROUTE-IS-A-KEROUAC-KIND
You have hit the road Jack.
To the city lights you show your back.
They shine in the beatnik-black.
You're just a sort of  Kerouac.

for PATTAYA TRADER 128 (B)

A-DEAD-CERTAIN-SAILOR?
My uncle was a sailor
who'd later live in Hull.
Claimed he saw a mermaid.
Drunk and out his skull?
"No, oh no," my mother said,
"and your uncle never lied.
It turned him into a wreck
having drowned in her eyes."

GADFLY-GWYNNE
Naughty naked Nell;
glinty-eyed gadabout Gwynne;
the door was always open
for King Charlie to come in
and your beauty there espy.
You sure were fly. Yes you were fly.

FLAPPER GRANNY-GRUMBLES FIND
(In Society 1920s)
"I don't understand
today's generation-gap !!"
fired their great-gran
in her usual flap.

ALFRED-AND-HIS-GIRL-
FRIENDS-MIGHT-HAVE-BEEN
Alfred de Musset
and his 'priestesses-of-the-night'
hadn't been doing anything holy,
or then again they might.

A PRECIOUS-PRESENTATION
A gold watch offered
now work is done.
Happy retirement,
try to have fun.
Time on your hands
to chase the sun;
not  the girls.
You're sure not young.

ROMANY-RAINBOW
Rain has ended. Time to go
and chase after gipsy-rainbow.

NO-ROGER-BACON-ARE-YOU
You're just a waster, Roger.
You don't bring home the bacon.
You are a work dodger.
Won't rise above your station.
And even idle in your wish
to be a Doctor Merabilis.

NAUGHTY NAKED NATURE
D.H.L. wrote-naughty-stuff,
though-nature's-always-in-the-buff.

for PATTAYA TRADER 128 (A)

A-DARK-DOG'S-DAY
Here comes the black dog again.
The brute's a bulldog off his chain.
Yes here comes deep depression again
like a heavy dark cloud in the brain.
Winston Churchill had his black dog
for want of another name,
and the comic Spike Milligan -
no laughing matter - had the same.
When that dog is on the loose
it runs down the hall of fame
as well as down the city street
and down the country lane.
Who says right as rain?
Who says right as rain?!!

DOTTY-DEAR
I am now older than your age
as I look back to your age when
I was just a teenager
and you the older woman.
But oh we had fun.
Oh yes we had fun.
No you didn't lead me along,
dear Dorothy. Dot on the horizon.

THE-NIGHTMARE-NAVIGATION-YES
He was setting sail to nowhere,
or to nowhere in particular.
He was leaving it to chance
was the strange-navigator.
Or leaving it to the Fates
that one day he'd find her
beyond the seas of octopus.
Perhaps in the land of the hydra?

But oh what monstrous dreams
and oh what a drunken sailor
who struggled with his loss
like the Moby Dick impaler.
The man promised his girl the moon
and so was to fail her.
Now he's out on a limb
like the limb-lost whaler.

HIGH-TIMES FLY
My girl's the shape
of an hour-glass,
and time with her
I love to pass.

Time passes swiftly
you'll understand,
that is the nature
of the shifting sand.

A BEAUTY-BOUNCES-
BEACH-BALL-LIKE
With a wavy-sea-of-hair
she walks along the street.
The men gaze like sharks
at a tasty-treat.

The Thai-girl bounces
down to the beach.
The men's eyes surely follow
till she's far beyond reach.

A-NAGA-GIRL
Her face was wet with tears
and he, being wet behind the ears,
didn't see her tears were fake,
or that from the waist downwards
she sure had the tail of a water-snake.