SHIP-CAPTAIN'S LOG: 292 (B)

Editor of Saltburn Scene, various flyers in the city of York, contributor to Pattaya Trader (Thailand), published in various booklets and magazines, broadcast on regional radio and published in local press, appearance on BBC 2 television (among other Teesside poets), postcard from pop poet Brian Patten and letter of gratitude from Prince Charles as to climate change (1989), my invite to two musicians on their way to being celebs to visit Saltburn by-the-sea, with any of their future celeb friends, led to Hollywood stars and pop/rock stars visiting after a Teesside all-star gig, using the alleyway by my then home, and which could do with a plaque stating 'Stardust Alley'. Will this come about? Read on for more information between sets of my verse-poems. A couple more SHIP-CAPTAIN'S LOGS before the informative pieces that were published in MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP flyers that - like all my publications - carry verse-poems too and other writings, apart from a publication that carries my playlets/satirical sketches, which were first published in some of my 33 poetry booklets, from 1988 to 1992 (when I founded Saltburn Scene).

A WORD-WIZARD WALTZ
She waltzes with the wizard of words,
dances to the slow as well as the quick,
but the girl breaks into a tango
at the sudden sorcery of the man's stick.

With the wizard of words she waltzes
to the witching hour's magic tick,
prances to the power of the man's pen
and his bedroom talk just so bardic.

A CONVERSATION PIECE
"The art of conversation is not dead,
but the conversation about art is," I said.

A SHIP CAPTAIN
we are each the captain
of our own little ship.
The storms that grow
and the waves which whip
are for us to brave
on the vast sea we ride
as we come but must go
with life's push-and-pull tide.

KIDS PAY A DEAD PIPER'S PRICE
The people hired a sniper
to take care of the piper
who led the children astray.
They hired a sniper
to take care of the piper
who'd many a tune to play.

The people hired a sniper
to take care of the piper
and marched to the one drum that day.
They hired a sniper
to take care of the piper
but the children had the bill to pay.

TELL AGAIN TALE
There sits the starry-eyed girl
by the wishing well,
while dances the dark world's dwarf
in the dusky dell.

The broken-hearted boy
grieves for she, his bygone belle,
while cackles the cunning crone
inside her cosmic cell.

But comes a conquering king
the laughing fiends to fell,
while yearns the noble-hearted hermit
young love's dream again to tell.

PASS THE PROZAC
There's a survey on the service,
so the train'll be on time.
We'll meet in half an hour,
the sun is bound to shine.

Yes the sun is bound to shine
because the weatherman said it won't.
I'll try to say I love you
though you know I don't.

We'll plod around the shops,
wait for ever in a queue.
If only love could last as long,
but it's too damn late for me and you.

DISTANCE
She was over the moon.
They'd romance and fun.
She let him down badly.
Why so damn dumb ?

Awaits she now no letter
her ex-lover from.
Awaits she now no post
her mat to fall upon.

Awaits she now no message.
No poem nor no song.
Awaits the lady's inbox
no rocketmail.com.

(The 'nor no' double negative is intentional. Double negatives still exist in songs. But it shows the distance we have come since the double negative, with technology as well as the distance between ex-lovers, plus there was alliteration considered.)

COLOURLESS DEATH ?
Is death a darkness
or bright-light ?
Is death a blackness
or is it white ?
White as a ghost
or black as night ?
Beyond earthly colour
could just be right.

DRUNK
A tail swish, yes a tail swish.
Half woman and half fish.
What a dish, yes what a dish.
Half woman and half fish.

Sailor beware, sailor beware !
see that long net of hair.
Sailor have care, sailor have care !
You are legless, just like her !!

NAME GEMINI
She blows hot, she blows cold,
in the wink of an eye.
She is two girls in the one.
Call the lady Gemini.

Sometimes she is narrow.
Sometimes she is wide.
She is a Doctor Jekyll
and she is a Miss Hyde.

She blows hot, she blows cold.
She's a golden sun in the sky
when she's not an icy storm.
Yes call the lady Gemini.

AN OUT OF THIS WORLD WIT
Sit down and dine
by candlelight,
we'll talk and climb
to dizzy heights
and circle the world
as do satellites.

A woman of wit,
a lady with looks.
A beauty before me
versed in books.
Your flavour's sweet.
The evening cooks.

GRAPE-WINE GIRL
I'm sure I knew you once,
in an ancient time.
The earth a green grape
way back on the vine.

I'm sure I knew you once,
handmaiden to a queen,
and I the key-master
in a palace that had been.

I'm sure I knew you once,
serving the queen wine.
Do I, the key-master,
now unlock your mind ?

GETTING AWAY
I saw an orangey-red sphere
as did many a Siamese.
Out there in Thailand
seen are lots of these.
If from another planet
I wonder what they'd say:
"Only came for a visit,
it is good to get away."

I taught in Bangkok and Pattaya.
Went for a job in Phetchaburi.
Down from the hilly jungle
came for folks food the monkeys.
If the monkeys could speak
I wonder what they'd say:
"Only came for a visit,
it is good to get away."

We apes in this world
are called the human race.
It is we who sent monkeys
into dark outer-space.
Up there with the stars
I wonder what they'd say:
Only came for a visit,
it is good to get away."

I did not take the jungle job,
was only there for a day.
Very much liked the visit,
it was good to get away."

PAT IS NOT FAT SHE IS PREGNANT
She sought a sugar daddy,
so did her friends,
to see her through college
by making meet ends.

She sought a sugar daddy
to make ends meet,
and see her through college.
To make life sweet.

She sought a sugar daddy
and found a real treat.
Far too much sugar later
she can't see her feet !

DEEP SLUMBER SEABIRDS
PLUS A SAIL-SHIP TELLS PRETTY SHE
Awoken from your dream
my name upon your lips,
two gulls you'd seen
above a sailing ship.
What did this mean
for you who thus awoke
from such a deep dream
as my name you spoke ?
Our twin souls soaring ?
We as one body sailing ?

FOUND YOU OUT
The genie is out the bottle.
Out the bag is the cat.
Go find a flying carpet.
Flee on this magic mat.
The cat is out the bag, yes.
Go flee, you lady-rat !

for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 292 (A)

UP THE WRONG TREE BARK
The group was seated
at the sit-in,
awaited the studious poet
to start, to begin,
or the stony silence to break
with the drop of a pin.

He stood there quiet
as the bark on a tree,
might have stood longer
than is my memory
of the man who cried "Timber,"
loud and suddenly.

THE WHITE HOUSE BUILT JACK
There in the huge-garden
all his flowers wilt,
and the rooms are empty
in the house that Jack built.
"It is his white elephant,"
village folk are heard to say,
"it is the guy's own folly,
the man's money-throwaway.
But it is no use him crying
over white milk spilt,
though white as a ghost
Jack who the house built."

AN UNDERGROUND POETRY PIECE
The magician was to put his hand
in the upturned top-hat,
while the jumpy rabbit inside
wouldn't have any of that.
It bolted along the lengthy tunnel
that was the big hat's top,
down to a poetry underworld
the rabbit was then to hop.
"Welcome to our Wonderland,"
said the magic poetry lines
that were written on the walls
of that shiny diamond mine.
But almost an eternity later
the rabbit just had to go,
and headed for the spotlight
like that in the stage-magician's show.
Yet the grand circle of light
was the tunnel's very end come,
and the rabbit was to exit
to the loud applause of everyone.
The people were now fluffy bunnies...
what conjurer's trick ? What scheming ?
The rabbit had to pinch itself,
but the child Alice woke from her dreaming.

for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 291 (E)

ROMEO AND JULIET
Romeo seeks love on the Internet,
"Where are you my Juliet ?
Why have I not found you yet ?"
Juliet seeks love with a dating ad,
life is lonely, cruel and sad,
all the girl's boyfriends turn out bad.
"Where are you, my Romeo ?"
But a fairy story is long ago."

A PANTOMIME PYRATE
Lady I's a Long-John,
a Long-John-Silver ooh.
Yes lady I's a Long-John,
a Long-John just fo' you.

Girl I's a Long-John,
member of a motley-crew.
Pieces-of-eight, pieces-of-eight,
pieces-of-eight I got fo' you.

Yo ho ho and yo ho ho,
beach brown eyes 'ave you.
Arr lady I's a Long-John
whose eyes are ocean-blue.

Girl I's a Long-John,
come 'n' cruise wi me.
I'll be your sailor-boy,
you m' pretty-sailor-lady."

A WOMAN IN MY WHISKERS
I am the cat, you are the cream,
I am the sleeper, you are the dream.
I am the moon, you are the sheen.
I am the riverbank, you are the stream.

I am the dancer, you are the waltz,
you are the swoon, I am the salts.
I am the head, you are the hat,
you are the cream, and I the cat.

for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 291 (D)

DIAGNOSIS: A DREAMER
The doctors say I've got it bad,
the nurses cry "how sad, how sad,
he's a romantic, that is for sure,
draw the blind, there is no cure."

My head upon the pillow I lie,
of this disease I am bound to die,
don't bring me fruit or the latest news,
let me wallow in my love-struck blues.

"Who is it did this ?" people ask
as the nurse applies the oxygen mask,
and though my life I'll one day lose,
I will forever love the poet's Muse.

LIVE LILLIPUT
There I was walking tall
here in the land of the small.
I viewed the markets of the mean,
shops and stalls were my every scene.
The little people of Lilliput
tried to bind me hand and foot
for being so big of such thought
as not to buy into and nor be bought.

THUMB TOM A LIFT
Tom thumbs for a ride,
towards him the motors glide,
but he is too small to be spied,
very minute.

Tom thumbs for a ride,
by him the drivers glide,
there is no space inside,
nor will they have him in their boot.

Tom thumbs for a ride,
past him the motors glide,
"Strangers today are just suicide."
The man gets the hoot.

SHIPPING-CAMEL AND
SHADY-OASIS COUPLE
As their ship of the desert
rests in the shade of the palms,
so she rests her head -
free from all harm -
on her lover's breast
and is thirsty no more.
Her man not a mirage
but a dream lover for sure.

WRITE OFF WAGTAIL
Once there were wagtails
but fast they have flown
now that the river
this brown has grown.

Once there were trout
and pike too were known,
a kingfisher perched
on tree-stump or stone.

Once there were fish,
once there were birds,
but all that is left...
these few words.

CASTLE CARLTON
Yonder side of York, between old Drax Abbey
and the cut by Snaith did my star first shine.
The dragonflies above the Carlton lily pond,
and under the sun's hot climb,
flit here, flit there, while fishes dart
here, dart there, in the village pond's slime.

Carlton Castle stood a fairytale far-side the trees,
at the age of four such magic was mine;
hermits, hobgoblins and witches of the wood,
swans that dove for the final time
when I waved my child's last farewell
in that place my star was to shine.

SHIP-CAPTAIN'S LOG

There is another Captain's Log, and another Captain Mark. There is also a footballer called Mark Beevers. I am, of course, neither of these two. This is captainmarkb.blogspot.com (Mark B). The B for Beevers, or Busy Beevers, ha. An anagram of my full name is A Verse Maker Be. Read on to hear about SALTBURN'S STARDUST ALLEY, my letter of thanks from Prince Charles in 1989 too. Writings dispersed among the great many verse-poems from when first published in 1988. Cheers mateys, Captain Mark, or Mark B !!

for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 291 (C)

TWIN SPIRITS
Where the otter swam
with the mermaid and merman,
the trout leapt, the salmon too...
where the dam
had not been a dam
and on his pipes old Pan blew,
and blew like the breeze
through the flowers and trees
his tunes, timeless and true,
which brought centaurs to their knees,
there to swat among the fairies
while on the backs of swallows other fairies flew,
and danced the fauns
by the unicorns
and the nymphs sang. But only the sun now shines through.
It is here, my love,
like the turtle dove,
that we bill and coo.
Yes here, my love,
I the hand to your glove,
where the petals, the leaves, in the glistening dew
stick to our skins,
and we are spirit twins
who roll like the river
once used to.

A WOMAN WATCHES IN THE WOOD
Nor the dipper-bird in its diving
beneath the viaduct by the waterfall,
nor the force of the river in its driving
towards the sea and the sea's call,
nor the lilac that bends in the breeze
farther down at Rushpool Hall,
nor the squirrel that skips in the trees
or the hedgehog in its prickly ball
know the heart of the watchful girl
dives, drives, bends, skips and curls.

WAS A NOBODY ?
They call the man a has-been,
but it does not bother him because,
it is so much better to have been,
than to be a body who never-was.

WHAT SAW A BUTLER
Milady in the raw
was what the butler saw,
the nude chauffeur on his knees.
The cook - if you please -
he spied just as clear
where she swung from the chandelier.
Her ladyship cracked her crop
and his lordship would not stop
as he hurried round a track
with a saddle on his very-back.
He would have joined his employer
were the butler not a voyeur.
Now as a storyteller
his book is a best-seller.

A PLUME FOR MY PRINCESS
Perhaps she'll puff with peacock pride
for the prize of the pretty plume -
blue and green as is the sea,
bronze like the sun, gold like the moon,
Hera-honoured and Argus-eyed -
goes to she, yes goes to she,
the girl who brings colour to the room.

GO GOBLIN
There came a curious creature,
a spurious sort of sprite,
who rode on the back of a minute mare
whom he was heard to call Night.
His lies were far from thin,
indeed his fables were fat,
and the horrid little man kept pulling
the tail of the girl's pet cat.
"You are such a cruel creature,"
the young princess said,
"for so small a being
you have a very big head.
You dare to spin tall stories,
weave for me enormous lies,
would even have my cat believe
you are really giant-size.
Were I not fast asleep
I would call my father's guard
to come in and bang your head,
to come in and bang it hard.
But I know I must be dreaming
and that you are just not there,
so begone now, little man,
on Night, your tiny mare."

THE DRINK LONG AND COOL
The
man
stands
tall
and
quiet
so
the
good-
looking
girl
might
think...
he'd
quench
her
thirst
like
a
cool
and
long
drink.

BY THE THREAD A WORLD HANG
Hang
the
world
by
a
fine
thread
because
we've
a
conker
for
a
head.

SET SAIL FOR NOWHERE
Where venture I the voyager
while the wyvern flies
and breath-blows my boat-sails
as sparkle the night's many eyes ?

More eyes than heads the hydra,
more eyes than limbs the octopus,
so the night looks down on me
and the dragon blows me thus,

as I journey from this island
I compare to a giant whale
that falls in a deep slumber
and sleeps too its tail,

and so starts to sink
beneath the waves of the sea.
I sail for a far-off world
of myth, of fancy, of fantasy.

(A wyvern is a type of dragon.
Whales are said to only half-sleep,
their fin-tails still active)

SHIP-CAPTAIN'S LOG (SALTBURN'S STARDUST ALLEY)

A 'Stardust Alley' plaque for the Albion Terrace to Glenside rear lane leading to the woods and seafront, past my then side door ? Yes, why not. My community magazine, Saltburn Scene, did much for Saltburn by-the-sea (1992 - 2000), spawning much later copyists, and helped to bring 'bus-loads' of Hollywood celebs and pop/rock stars, various royals and MPs to the town, using the alleyway, as I suggested long before their visit, to avoid the town centre. More information on this following the next few verse-poems. Cheers mateys, Captain Mark (anagram: A Verse Maker Be).

for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 291 (B)

THE GNOME NEIGHBOURHOOD
"My parents are plastic,"
the girl pens in a poem,
"plastic as the garden pond
and the beastly garden gnome.
Here in this suburb
it is the same each day,
when will the fairy
come fly me away ?"
My parents are plastic
just like our home,
plastic as the Joneses
and their garden gnome."

A MAGIC MORN LEAVE
The girl is sound asleep,
but here I am awake.
Morn just leave the magic
should the rest you take.

My hand in her hair
while her head is on my breast,
morn just leave the magic
but you can take the rest.

Here I am awake,
she sound asleep,
morn just leave the magic,
let me this golden moment keep.

BLEED BEAUTY
A tar-feathered swan
that looked regal in the reeds
now swims like a beggar
… beauty bleeds.

A roadside poppy
drops many pointless seeds,
we race to nowhere
… beauty bleeds.

Here are the signs,
but who is it heeds ?
Nature's surely wounded
… beauty bleeds.


CRY SHARK
All tell your sons
and warn your daughters,
shark-infested
are these cruel waters.

The lifeguard goes
without his shotgun,
while the whole beach
lacks a golden sun.

Up to the knees
in a bloody slaughter,
shark-infested
is this cruel water.

for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 291 (A)

A BANK BANDIT MASK
The bus starts with a jerk
and makes Julie spin.
Might she be in time for work ?
Her chances look slim.
"Late again," her boss will say,
"the bank shall have to dock your pay."
Not even time to put on the face-paint
that his girls are told to wear,
like the smile free of restraint
for the customer who stands there.
"Julie you are a disgrace,
do go to the bathroom and fix your face."
Fix her face, fix her face ?
As if it were broken ?
And her hair out of place ?
No truer words are spoken.
Reflected in the bus window see,
"Julie you are a misery."
But it takes such a push
to get up and out of bed,
join the early morning rush
to earn a mere crust of bread.
Julie, Julie, half-asleep.
Julie, Julie, too tired to weep.
Julie, Julie, too late to spy
the masked bandit with his gun.
Julie, Julie, too late to lie
with the frowning face on everyone.
"Julie," a ghost is heard to ask,
"Julie, where have you hidden your mask ?"

THE BARE CUPID CLOUD OVER HUNTCLIFF
A red sun sets on the brown cliff,
tints too the cliff's green hair.
Wide and glazed is the blue-eye sea,
a white cloud turns pink like Cupid bare.

But love's only arrows are the rays
of the crimson sun in its descent.
A red pupil for the glazed blue eye
that is soon to view the starry firmament.

BE NOT
No, my dear,
I am not Shakespeare,
to this I most surely agree.
He has served his time,
done with verse and rhyme,
and now for ever gone has he.
He's served his time,
these poems are mine,
yes truly mine as you can see.
So have no fear,
I'm not Shakespeare,
why should I wish to be ?

MOUTH WATERING
A 'Tequila Sunrise'
with a girl at sunset ?
Yes, my appetite
is greatly whet !

REMEMBRANCE
I pop pennies
inside a tin
carefully designed
to pop pennies in,

buy a poppy
which I then pin
to the front of the coat
that I'm shopping in.

The pin pricks,
breaks my skin,
too shallow is the wound
for remembering.

A CHILD'S PLAY GARDEN
There in the garden were small children
who played with a cork-and-feather shuttlecock.
"So sorry to interrupt your happy game,"
said a strange creature from behind a rock,
"but my friends and I are from a distant land
that your own has surely very much forgot.
Such creatures as we know no tick of time,
in the world of fairy old age exists not.
The hobgoblin, the pixie, the dwarf, the elf,
are but a few of our many various names.
Why don't you both come and join us
in our land's magical fairy games ?
You shall be given no cause to worry
and can bring your cork-and-feather shuttlecock,
while your mother and father are too busy
working like slaves around your country's clock."

CROSS SWEAR WORDS
Seven years the young pair lived together,
four across the street and three down.
Their seventh was a cryptic clue
of what was to call around.

The eighth sees the pair now wed
and both completely square.
Before the two had got married
cross words were very rare.

CHEEKY
My tongue in your cheek,
that would be bliss.
Humour me, lady,
with a French-kiss !

SHIP-CAPTAIN'S LOG

GOOD SHIP ALBION carries verse-poems from my Saltburn Scene, Pattaya Trader, Middlesbrough Magic Ship, and various other publications. A vast ocean of poems are found here, but not all of them, and there are a few selected writings amongst the verses,  as to my editorship of Saltburn's first ever community magazine, to my letter of gratitude from Prince Charles after my supporting his views on climate change in 1989, and the stars/celebs I've met. Some poems may have been repeated. There are also typing errors. I'm too busy a Beevers to correct them all! Ha. Pages from Pattaya Trader, Thailand, can be found by scrolling right to the bottom of this blog, or - far easier - by clicking on the year 2011 BLOG ARCHIVE at the side. There are pages from 2009 scattered amongst these. Most of these verse-poems are from much earlier. I began being published in 1988. Cheers mateys, Captain Mark

For MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 290 (F)

A MEMORY-SHIP MAGIC
My pen quests,
see trickle the tip,
a crow's nest crowns
my magic ship.

Far up the flag flies
and the sail is full
while glitters the gold
down in the hull.

Glistens the sheer gold
of your pretty tress,
and shines your white body
in its nakedness.

Yes the magic ship
of my memory
brings such beauty as yours
back home to me.

THE BOTTLED BOAT
There is a boat in a bottle
with sails set for nowhere,
yes a ship in a bottle
caught as in a snare.

There is a captain on the booze
who will set sail no more,
a veteran who awaits the voyage
behind death's door.

The drinker toasts the darlings
in every port he has been.
Lifts his glass to the pretty girls
in every land he has seen.

There is a boat in a bottle,
caught as in a snare,
but the magic ship of memory
takes him just anywhere.

A MUSIC MAKER'S MORTAL MISTAKE
The man was a minstrel,
a make-tracks troubadour.
He strummed on a lute,
banged on a lordship's door.
The personage bid him play
and as a reward
for the man's fine music
offered him a sword.
The player took the weapon.
The lord was at peace,
studied to learn the music
he hoped would never cease.
The troubadour burdened
with the long blade
celebrated war in song.
A short-lived life made.

GURGLE GURGLE GURGLE !
What's happening to democracy ?
It's going down the drain.
The politician, yes the MP,
is sure going down the very same.

What's happening to democracy ?
To the sewer-rat it's plain.
Expenses-fiddlers, crack-heads,
taking over its furry domain !

A SHARP-TONGUED SHE-DEVIL
Her guy sure feels on a rack,
the fellow's found disjointed.
His girl is now a witch in black
to he, so hopelessly disappointed.

That mouth of hers began to hack
he who was by love anointed.
His girl has now a witch's hat
just like her tongue. Sharp pointed !

A MARRIAGE MADE TO LAST ?
I lived with a Thai-girl or two,
marriage not my thing.
I'd lived with an English woman
when it was named a sin.
Thirteen years we lasted
without that wedding ring.
Can't be said of friends.
Marriage did them in !

Thirteen years, thirteen years,
thirteen's lucky for some.
I'm not a bingo player,
but the lasting game we won.

CATHARTIC COUPLING
She sparkled, oh she sparkled,
she sparkled with delight.
Yes her eyes sparkled,
it was a bonfire night.

A bonfire night it was,
bang bang bang bang bang.
Rockets and catharsis wheels
for she and I her man.

THE THAI-GIRL'S GIFT FOR ME
She was Christmas in her stockings
and her red corset.
Although she is a Buddhist
it was a safe bet
this was her gift to me.
Who needed an Xmas tree !

LADY LOTUS MINE
She called me a "white-monkey" in fun
(though it was 'meant' by some),
but I had the year-round sun
of her country and of her smile.
My lotus-lady did so beguile.

A GOLDEN-HOUR GIRL HAS GONE
Hers is an heart
with an open door.
Hers is a mind
to explore
as is her body,
its every contour.

She is a soul
with whom to bond
and sail into
a blue beyond.
She is a girl
of the hour gone.

GIFT OF A POEM
TO A VERY PRETTY GIRL
Into your sweet dreams
did my message come ?
Did I enter your head
through my medium ?
My medium was the poem,
a message was the verse.
Did you invite it
into sleep's warm embrace ?

Yes into your sweet dreams
did my message come ?
Or did you ignore it,
give a downwards thumb ?

for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 290 (E)

PAPER BOATS
The girl never knew she held him
in the palm of her hand
till he slipped through her fingers
like fine grains of sand,

while he never knew how lucky
he was to escape her,
for her temper was a tempest
but the poet's boats were paper.

YOU'RE-A-PERSON-INCLINED-
TO-CORRECT-MISSPELT-WORDS
I have an inkling
that you are the type
who seeks out errors
in the words men write.

I have an inkling
that you come awake
over a verse-poet's
or a printer's mistake.

I have an inkling
you're under a spelling
of what the poet
or publisher's selling.

A-DAWN-DAISY
If only to awake
to a day that's new,
fresh as a daisy
in the morning dew,

and see the world
on such a morn
as though I'd died
and been reborn

and did not know
how it would pain
my very soul
to live again

when in time
this thought I'd find
does not ease
a troubled mind.

GENTLEMAN GIANT
Size twelve shoes
upon my big-feet,
my foot in mouth
wouldn't be a treat,
but with the ladies
I am always sweet,
even with the ones
not good enough to eat !

NEED AND GREED
Money's not the root
of all evil,
it is damn greed
that can bedevil.

I used to have money
to throw away
on the young ladies
who came my way.

But for beauty, too,
I'd not a greed,
though money fetch more
than you need !

LIFE AFLOAT NOTE
Not much a man
for materiality,
possessions pin me down,
I like to be free,
I like to feel a sort
of spirituality...

to consider my body
is but a boat
for the soul inside.
It keeps me afloat.
Yes, take note,
it keeps me afloat.

A-FOOL'S-CAP-OR-
THE-WIZARD'S-HAT ?
She couldn't believe the age of me
and thought I was the vanished Doctor Dee
or surely some wizard at longevity !
Though she may have been a sorceress
using magic words just to impress
a perfect fool. The girl did, I guess !

HUMPHREY BOGART-FIND-
I-AM-NOT-GIRL
I might have been Humphrey Bogart
were I not so tall,
and were you a beauty
you might have been Bacall.
No you're no plain-Jane,
but then you weren't Lauren.
Me ? I'm no Humphrey,
I'm too tall I'll say again.
Find that I won't say
"Here's looking at you kid",
because I just don't love you.
Probably never, not ever, did.

for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 290 (D)

INSOMNIAC'S-XMAS-COCK-DINNER
"Now breaks the dawn
and don't I know it !
The colourful cock
is about to crow it !
Later, in the coop -
fed on corn and crumbs -
he'll strut around so-proud,
lord of the chicken run.
And there in his harem,
the choice of any she,
I'd cock-a-doodle-doo
had I plenty as he !
No work to do
other than praise the sun
and grow fat on pleasure.
Just wait till Christmas comes !"

for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 290 (C)

A BLOODBATH BATHORY
Evil Elizabeth Bathory
was the bloody baroness.
Some called her "Werewolf."
Some called her "Vampiress."

In the blood of virgins
bathed the ageing bat.
Vanity drove to their veins
the very-cruel aristocrat.

Evil Elizabeth Bathory
thought youth could regain
in every drop of blood
an old-wolf can go drain.

CONFUSING NORMAL
WITH NATURAL
Normal is concrete.
Natural is grass.
Yet there're folk can't tell
their elbow from their ass !

SAX AGE
The young black saxophonist
has got her swinging so,
she's the ageing white woman
and he's her gigolo.
Lift that sax young-guy
and blow, blow, blow.
She's the ageing white woman
and he's her gigolo.
"Black-and-white," hear her say,
"becomes a lady who's going grey.

THE FEATHERED FRIENDS
I repeat you're too pretty,
you repeat I'm too clever.
We could go on, girl,
like this for ever.
You'd think us both parrots,
but birds of a feather ?
Are we not opposites
attracted by the other ?

for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 290 (B)

THE BRIEF WINTERLUDE THEIRS FIND
Theirs was a long summery love,
but came a short winterlude
when a stranger, the jealous kind,
was to turn up and intrude.

He could not get a girl of his own
and would try to come between,
or break up the young couples
that made the guy envy-green.

Theirs was a long summery love,
but came a short winterlude.
Try to make jealousy a stranger,
avoid a bitter fight or feud.

AN ARTWORK WOMAN
She is a colourful character,
with a body beautiful.
Both funny and serious.
Who can call her dull.
The girl is a painting.
The girl is a sculpture.
She is a work of art.
Fine-tuned by Nature.

DISCUSSING NEW APPLIANCE
"It's not the size that counts,"
said his new girl,
"it's how you use it."

"Both quantity and quality,"
replied her new guy.
She did not refuse it !

WORK FOR FREE !
Due to the unemployed
he has a job behind a desk.
If most were to find work
he might be on the dole next.
Not very many paid-jobs around,
though voluntary work is easily found !

TIGHT SCHEDULES ?
London, Oxford,
Edinburgh, Blackpool,
Paris, Amsterdam.
Feed me more fuel.

Bangkok, Pattaya.
Feed me to fly.
I like to get around.
Not the round you buy !

CURIOUS TOURIST ATTRACTION
Tourists' cameras snapped
as the pigeons crapped.
I stood in Trafalgar Square
like a cross, or a scarecrow
that did not seem to scare.

My hands held out pigeon beans,
pigeon crap on my jeans
and pigeon crap in my hair.
Scratches on my leather jacket...
birds settled on my arm wear.

Yes tourists' cameras snapped
as the pigeons crapped.
In Trafalgar Square I stood
like a cross, or a scarecrow,
or like a clown stuck in more than mud !