for PATTAYA TRADER 253 (C)

ONLY-THE-MATERIAL-MATTERS-
WITH-YOU-WOMAN
At the heart of the matter
are you spiritually aware ?
At the centre of the matter
are you spiritually there ?
You fawn, you fake, you flatter.
It's only you seems to matter !

for PATTAYA TRADER 253 (B)

THE BLUE SEA BANDITS
The underbelly of the whale
is an ocean of drugs and sex for sale.
Yes your underbelly, Ship of State,
is a sea of anger and of hate.
A huge beast of burden are you.
A big boat with a bandit crew.

for PATTAYA TRADER 253 (A)

HOLES-IN-HOLY-ROME-DISROBED
There are children outside
the Vatican walls
who make their home
where dark-shadows fall.
Within these walls
are the businessmen
who have so very-little
to do with poor them
though some, we find,
being far too familiar
with the children beyond
the holy basilica.
In priestly robes
go these businessmen
who dare call themselves
faithful Christians
while beggarly children
are abused by them.
Let them call themselves
damn beasts, barbarians.

GUNLAW
One of these days
America's going to choke,
swallowing bullets
and gun-smoke.

UP-AND-DOWN-WITH-MR.-SLOANE
Caught, the depraved-resident
in Sloane Square,
living-it-up with deprived
low-entertainment there.

DEADENED-TO-GOOD-JUDGEMENT-
BY-YOUR-HARD-HITTING-TELEVISION-
ADVERTS
You mixed-company-vultures,
such a motley hard crew
who feed off dead-heads,
I shout 'Cannon balls to you !'

for PATTAYA TRADER 252 (H)

A-FAIRGROUND-GIRL-FOUND-LOVE ?
Her locks in a pony-tail
she rode the carousel.
The music of the fair
filled the afternoon air.
Who knows ? Can you tell ?
Was the boy staring yearningly
riding as high as rode she ?

DOING ROUNDS
The postman knocked twice
and went back to his course.
But she thought best the milkman,
a tail sure like his old horse !

A-NAGA-GIRL-NOT !
Not far from Pattaya
is a place called Chonburi
famed for its ladyboys,
and one guy has told me
he'd taken home a bar-girl,
but what he sure didn't know:
the bar-girl was a boy...
a snake down below !

for PATTAYA TRADER 252 (G)

BLISSFUL-IGNORANCE-
IN-A-FLOWERY-GARDEN-YES ?
You dropped out of school.
You dropped out of work.
You became hippy freeloaders
sure happy to be just shirks.
Dropped acid in the gardens,
dropped pants in the flowers.
Laid down in the sunshine
for hour after long hour.
It all seemed so good
but where the equation
with now demanding jobs
as well as an education ?

THE-READ-ALL-AROUND-
YOUNG-MAN-WURTHER
Wurther died young.
His death was a romance.
Doom, doom, doom,
a kind of Gothic-gloom
was also to enhance
the youths who hung
around the Reading Rooms.

for PATTAYA TRADER 252 (F)

THE-HEAD-HOLE
He put a bullet
in his own damn head
because her love
for him was dead.

Dead because of love ?
A bullet of lead ?
In a hole in the ground
find a hole in the guy's head !

for PATTAYA TRADER 252 (E)

A THONG SONG !
Cheeky, yes cheeky,
but not of lip,
only in letting
her slip go slip !
Ah the girl did
the briefest strip.
Briefer than the thong
about her hips.

OF-SERVICE-TO-POVERTY-NO ?
A prostitute's become
the defrocked-nun ?
A little paradise
for a cheap price
down in the slum ?
Her missionary position
underwent material transition ?

HEAVENS ABOVE !
Heaven's within
and not without,
but men's sky-gods
cast grave-doubt !

YES-IT-WAS-REAL-DEVILISH-HUMOUR-
DAVE-HAD-TO-BE-SURE
Dave Allen -
funny ironist -
thanked God
he was an atheist.
I thanked Dave
for his pluck,
wished the guy
best of Irish-luck.

YES-TWINS-OF-TOTAL-EVIL-
NO-LESS
One extreme leads to the other
for are they not sister-and-brother ?
Mother Russia, Fatherland Germany,
yours sure was a goddamn-extremity.

GAMBLING-BIG-IN-THE-EYE-
OF-THE-REVOLVER-NO ?
"Life is one big game,
a huge gamble," she so said,
"and I need Russian Roulette
like a hole in my head !"

SUPERNATURAL SERVANTS ?
Gurus collecting Rolls-Royces ?
Ah such-spiritual voices !
And did their gods, avatars,
visit us in supercars ?

for PATTAYA TRADER 252 (D)

YES-THE-SO-LOUD-CALLING-ASSHOLED-YOUTH-ON-
HYDE-PARK-CORNER
"Mayfair ? It's not fair !
Office-blocks are everywhere."
Go turn into Hyde
after Hangover Square.
Park Your ass, Dr. Jekyll,
on the dark grass there ?

for PATTAYA TRADER 252 (C)

A TSUNAMI
"Run to your hills,
climb your mountains, hide !
I am the sea,
I am the tide.
I am the ocean,
I am the flood,
I rise and seek
the colour of blood.
I come for you
who sure don't learn
but poison me.
See how I turn !"

for PATTAYA TRADER 252 (B)

IT'S-THE-LOST-WINDBLOWN-WANDERERS-THEY
Blowing in the wind like a tumbleweed,
meeting up with others of that seed,
there is a need, a need, a need,
within this cruel world of great greed.
The heart may or may not bleed
for old yard-birds, nomads after a free feed,
but not all roads to success lead.
 

for PATTAYA TRADER 252 (A)

UNFAITHFUL-ON-A-FOOTHILL-
THE-TWO
Not proper, not prim,
was lying-low Roslyn
with Sam's friend Jim
on the primrose hill.
And he the best man
in the wedding plan
of hers and naïve-Sam's,
Sam footing the bill.
If only Sam had left his holiday-chalet
and footed the cheats down into the valley !

BEING BETTER
You can't love the unlovable,
you can't tolerate the intolerable,
but you can do your very best
when the world's at its damn-worst...
now that is honourable.

A-GREAT-MAGIC-MASTER-CREATIVE-
ARTIST-VERSE ?
Imagine an intelligence in empty space
that endure forever must.
To lose itself in creativeness
the master forms of magic dust
a universe; planets, stars,
and beings of all kinds.
We lose ourselves in television,
the master's lost in our minds ?

PICTURE-FRAME-FOR-SO-FAR-OFF-
CLEAR-SEER-MUSE-SHE
She saw it coming,
ah she saw when
I'd paint pictures
with my pen.

She saw it clear,
yes she saw it all,
without the aid
of a crystal-ball.

Into my blue eyes
she was to stare,
"You'll be a poet,
so shines your star."

And there I stood
at our family door
on which she'd knocked
when I was but four.

Gypsy, oh gypsy,
first muse mine,
I shall frame you
with this rhyme.

DIVINE-WINE-VERSE
To be entertained
by the literary-Muse
I don't need a drink
as a damn excuse,

but I will go on
drinking sweet wine
until the gods call
"Closing time !"

DOOMED-HERO-ON-THE-MOTORBIKE
So a camel could not kill him
yet with Death would collide
hero Lawrence of Arabia
on a motorcycle ride.

for PATTAYA TRADER 251 (H)

A PUNK-TURE ?
The punky-band within the laser-light
cut through with a razor-light.

VERY-CURVY-FEATHERWEIGHT-
FEMALE-CLOUT
Ah girl, just to see you nude !
What ? You think me crude ?
For my familiarity, my nerve,
throw me your best curve !

ICECREAM-MAY-QUEEN-DAYDREAMS-MINE
On this sunny spring day
she eats 'Royal's Raspberry Ripple'
while I settle on warm thoughts
of her sure royal raspberry nipples !

IT'S-HARD-KNOCKS-DOWN-IN-
THE-WIDE-CONCRETE-CITY
He has a bad drug-habit
and the guy tries to kick it,
lost in the bruising city
like a wounded roebuck in the thicket.

YORK MINSTER MINSTRELSY
Ancient capital of political power
Yorkshire, Yorkshire may your rose-flower
once more be like a Hilda in bloom
and Edwin spin no more in his tomb

Edwin was the old power wielder
and his great-niece was Saint Hilda
The seat of power was in the North
and King Edwin was a mighty force

Ancient etc (repeat)

Britain's divided kingdoms he'd bind
when out of his exile he returned
with an army that was on his side
He'd a wizard too who'd counsel wise

Ancient etc (repeat)

Edwin etc (repeat)

Ancient etc (repeat three times)

for PATTAYA TRADER 251 (G)

SURE-FAKE-BUTTERFLY-COLLECTION
Your lies I'll catch out
there is little doubt.
I have got my net.
Not one butterfly
of a downright lie
has escaped me yet.
Never damn dull,
ever colourful,
your lies take wing.
But I'm the netter.
Girl I'm the collector.
Your lies do I pin.

A-LOOSE-BIND-NOOSE
You wanted to tie
yourself to me.
But I gave enough rope
for you to wander free.
You hanged yourself, girl.
You were contradictory.
Found in a bind
with a guy your own kind.

for PATTAYA TRADER 251 (F)

CHARLIE'S-BLUE-ANGELS-BAR-
SURE-IS-GOING-BUST
Charlie runs his bar on a shoestring,
find no laces in his shoes.
Three angels here get to sing,
and they just sing the blues.
Charlie plays a one cord guitar
to accompany their tired voices.
Nobody else comes into this bar.
I guess they have better choices.
Some folk are down on their luck
while some hold all the aces.
No gamblers will ever show up
where Charlie is always wasted.

KRAX
Crack cocaine,
cracks in the wall
and on the ceiling
down to the hall.

Crackshot, crackpot,
what's the latest crack ?
You pay for drugs, girl,
by lying on your back ?!

THE DIRECT ONE
We took a direction,
find no going back.
Too many changes.
Just stay on track.
The one direction
we sure now take
is the one learnt
by big-mistake ?

for PATTAYA TRADER 251 (E)

BANANA-PAJAMAS
She wore silk pajamas
with pics of bananas.
The girl was just so fruity.
She peeled them off
with a giddy Thai laugh
but called me the cheeky-monkey !

THE-GUYS-TRULY-LIKE-GIRLS'-
'COME-HERE'-SMILES,-FORGET-THE-FLOWERS !
You did not smile
when I passed by,
nor me flowers
kindly buy,
or chocolates
after we met.
But then I'm a man
and you're sure not !

A-HEAD-SWIMMING-MAN-
WAS-DRY-HUMOURED-HE
A lady in pink
at the Pink Dolphin
drank a pinkish wine
then went for a swim.
Her head swam swam swam
with he, a pick-me-up man.

JACKASS
I don't know Jack Shit?
well Joe this is true.
With a name like that
I sure wouldn't want to !

for PATTAYA TRADER 251 (D)

THE-SNARING-CROOK-AND-
DARK-DEATH'S-SCYTHE
No more a gamboling lamb
beyond the shepherd's crook,
Death is on the stairs,
and he's halfway up.

Yes he is on the stairs,
and he's halfway up.
The Grim Reaper sure comes
with his scythe to cut.

for PATTAYA TRADER 251 (C)

BOY-BAND
"You do not play
guitar or drum
but you look good
as well as young.
You do not write
your own stuff.
We'll shape your voice,
it's a little rough.
Against a rock song
throw in the towel.
Sign up with manufacturer
Simon Cowell."

CRAFTY ?
An unmade bed
that is called art
makes the artist look to some
a lazy tart ?

for PATTAYA TRADER 251 (B)

A-WEATHERCOCK-WOMAN
A stuffed cock bore
the hat she wore
where may have been a feather.
It tickled some -
to see her come -
who were under the weather.
Fanny Murray was she find,
courtesan not concubine.

THE-STAR-THRUST-TERRESTRIALS
Ashes to ashes,
stardust to stardust.
That from which we spring
return to we must.
Again and again
into a planet-lifer thrust ?

for PATTAYA TRADER 251 (A)

A-SNAPPING-CITY
Crocodiles of cars
on road and street
within this jungle
of steel and concrete.
Filled space, filled gap.
Drivers just like crocodiles snap !

SWINGTIME-SPRINGTIME
The girl swings out,
toes point to the sun.
Her knees then bend,
she returns to the one
who is her lover
pushing heavenward she
who is his lover
and giddy lady.

A-SUNNY-SMILE(-GET-IT?)
Some tell me I'm a dry wit.
Woe be the day I'm dried of it.
A wit dry or a wit wet
brings a smile to they who get.

I'VE-GROWN-OUT-OF-TEENAGE-ANGER-VERSE
Whatever you think I am I'm not.
No, I'm not what you think I am.
Whichever way I might say it,
I'm no more an angry-young-man !

for PATTAYA TRADER 250 (H)

BURNING-WOOD-WAS-A-NEAR-
SIRING-SIR ?
Sir Francis Dashwood,
by Hell-Fire !
Was it really Sir,
not truly Sire ?
A king of debauchery,
out their attire
the lovely females at his club.
A dashing devil this Dashwood ?

THE-HOT-HOTEL-TUPPER-SUPPER !
Mutton dressed as lamb,
but the wool in his eyes
as with many a young tup
as to her daring guise,
she was young as she felt,
later she was to feel
the young buck against her,
hotter than the hotel meal !

SOME-LIVE-FOR-DREADFUL-VIOLENCE-
AND-FEAR
Your home was a fish-tank
and rumble-fish you two,
out to kill each other
until came to the rescue
an angel-fish. An angel-fish
to spirit one away,
and leave a rumble-fish
to die from peace that day.

WHO-DARES-WINS ?
"You can't judge a book by the cover
though very often you can,
and a bird in the bush isn't always
worth two in the hand."

So said a guy in a Siamese bar
eyeing the bar-girl twins.
He judged these books less by cover
than lack of it. Find he was in !

for PATTAYA TRADER 250 (G)

WOW-KID-HEARD-THE-BLUE-KEYED-DOORS ?!
Howled wild as a coyote
on spiky cactus peyote
did Jim Morrison
of The Doors; band of song.
Sang Howlin' Wolf blues all night long ?!

for PATTAYA TRADER 250 (F)

ALL-ROUND-TRADER-JACK
"Jack of all trades
and master at every one.
Batman, ah yes Batman,
you shall be undone !
I'll hold the aces,
each a black spade.
Batman, oh yes Batman,
I shall dig your grave !
Call me the hangman,
call me the undertaker.
Batman, ah yes Batman,
I am the Riddler,
I am the Scarecrow,
I am the Penguin too.
I am the Catwoman
and the Joker for you.
I am Poison Ivy,
I am Mr. Freeze.
I, Jack of all trades
shall bring you to your knees !
I am an army
and the Jack-in-the-Box
who'll spring my surprise
like the cuckoo clock !"

for PATTAYA TRADER 250 (E)

YOUR-OWN-STRING-PUPPET-YOU-ARE ?
Are you a lively-love-puppet
or a sad-glove-puppet ? I ask.
By own heartstrings moved
or by the opinions of others shoved
sure like a hand up your very ass ?!

MANY-MEN-MANY-TIMES
Love on the dole
turned into just sex
with one male neighbor
and then the next
when her live-in-lover
became her ponce.
Yes this pimp the man
whom she loved once ?

A-GARLAND-OF-ROSE-FLOWERS-
FOR-A-VAMPY-GIRL
Liza Minnelli
as Sally Bowles
bowled them over
in her role.
Roll, roll, roll on
those stockings Sal.
Life is a cabaret
old chum, old pal !

CONFUSED ?
Jean Genet,
criminal, gay.
Author was he,
against authority !

BOTH-LIGHTS-GONE-OUT-
SO-WELL-AND-TRULY-NOW-GIRL
She sits on the bed
with lampshade on head,
waiting to be turned on.
The hint he doesn't take,
he is only half-awake,
they've been wed far too long.

There is no electricity
between he and she.
He no more connects.
There is no currency
between he and she.
They shan't have sex.

THE-SO-THICK-AS-A-BRICK-RED-
BUILDING-NO ?
She came from a council estate
and studied in a redbrick.
She was envied, and shown hate
by the neighbours far too thick
to see they'd ever be lower class
for protesting a chance to a pass.

for PATTAYA TRADER 250 (D)

A-ROB-GOBLIN-IN-
GREEN-MAN'S-LAND ?
All of the fairies
had to be called good.
Even the bad ones.
They're now in the wood.

Man built huge cities
and this was a scare
to the fairies gone
from being everywhere

to hiding in the trees.
Say to a hobgoblin "Hello,"
if seen in the deep wood.
"Hello, Robin Goodfellow !"

RAISED TO FALL
She walks the high-wire
without a safety net,
yes she walks the 'tightrope'
as though it is around her neck.
From such a height will she fall
into the arms of Death? Don't we all ?!

for PATTAYA TRADER 250 (C)

BAD-TIMING-NO ?
Young is your mind
but your body is not.
She's a young chimer,
you're now an old-timer.
For you she's no time
find cuckoo-clock !

GAMBLING BIG-TIME ?
You can chance your arm at cards
and chance your arm at being broken
by players who have little regard,
when their money's being lost, taken.
You can chance your life at dares,
have money laid down on you being chicken,
which you can then use to make repairs
for flesh-cuts, bruises; but what the dickens,
the chances are you're not going to take
a chance at making a damn huge mistake !

GIRL-YOU-ARE-EVER-AN-
UP-GRADED-VIRGIN !
When the night descends
on us both Miss Doris Day
no juicy pillow talks
shall get to hold sway,
no vamp as from the Graduate film
will you play.
No teasing, no seduction,
everything about you the virgin !

AN-ASPIRIN-ABUSING-WOMAN
The wedded-woman is prone
to many headaches, if you please.
Pass her the aspirin she'll
grip between her knees.
There'll be no sex tonight
is what she is relating.
No arguments, Mr. So-and-so,
and no debating !

for PATTAYA TRADER 250 (B)

THE-FIRM-ARM'S-FLY-HIGH-SQUAD !
Denis Waterman, John Thaw,
Sweeney Todd,
Flying Squad,
Cockney slang, long arm of the law.
Stretching it
a little bit,
stretching out that arm.
Sweeney Todd,
Flying Squad
after collaring the cannabis farm !

A BLOODSUCKER
You can call her Cruella,
even call her Vampyrella,
she's out to bleed you, bleed !
She is a devilish Deville,
drain you dry she damn well will !
Suck, suck, suck and succeed !

YES-TRIXIE'S-IN-THE-SEX-TRADE
The girl's name is Trixie,
she turns a trick or two.
A trick's a John, a punter,
to me guys and to you.
Hers is the oldest profession,
done for money, sure not for kicks,
and most of her Johns
turn out to be capitalists.

HUG-NOR-HUNT
You should not dare
to hug a polar-bear
should it give you a bear-hug,
and crush you like ice
within a vice
or like an irritable bug.

You should beware
the huge-polar-bear
and do not look so smug.
Don't bother it at all,
leave the cold-snowfall,
hunt not the warm rug.

A-PUNCH-BAG-LADY-SHE
She knocks herself out
from time to time
(life a shit-sandwich)
on dirt cheap wine.
A homeless old lady
plastic-bag on head,
darkened doorstep
for a kind of bed.
She's wasting away
part-deaf, part-blind,
but more aware than most
is the punch-line.

for PATTAYA TRADER 250 (A)

OH SHIT !!
"Do bears shit in the wood ?"
Don't you go, guy, looking into it.
To scout about down in the wood alone
you might so end up bear-shit !

for PATTAYA TRADER 249 (G)

WE-ARE-ALL-ROUND-UNDER-PRESSURE-TO-BE-
SMASHING-WORLD-CHAMPIONS-TOO !
Step into the ring,
the money's everything
to the man who would be king.

Yes step into the ring,
hear loud-applauding.
The pressure is on to be king.

"SCRATCH-MY-BACK-AND-I'LL-SCRATCH-YOURS"
It was "Who's your mother?"
said the one man to the other
suspecting him a masonic brother.
To a mason's lodge he referred.
A funny handshake then occurred.
Passed was more masonic words.
Down and out in London and Paris
you've no brother and no sis,
but upward in the metropolis
many masons sure help each other
to climb the steps on the ladder
to the point of "Who's their father ?!"

A-METAL-MONSTER-WAS-TO-CONSUME-IT'S-MAKER
For his king built a bull
of metal did a fellow.
Prisoners to be put inside
this thing that was hollow.
Placed above a fire the creature
would roast, yes would torture
the prisoner to a bellow.
Rewarded was he, it's creator,
by being first into the bull-monster !

THOUGHT-FOXED ?
Sylvia Plath to Ted Hughes was drawn
as she was to self-destruction.
And so was his second wife.
What do we make from this deduction ?
We are left with a single male
who some might call singular.
Drawn to what they couldn't really have,
Ted Hughes poet in particular ?
Suicidal tendencies there at the start ?
Or had the poet a very hard heart ?

A-BITING-MUSTARD-WOMAN
You're not worth the candle,
you don't cut the mustard,
and all the fitting clichés
that sure can be mustered.

I'll leave you in the dark
for your non-appreciation
of my offering you sound-advice.
You bite off my tongue in every situation !

NOW-YES-THE-POOR-MUSE-POET'S-OCCUPATIONAL-
HAZARD-IT-SURELY-IS !
Jealous was she of the poet's Muse.
She demanded complete attention.
'Twas hard to compete with a goddess
who inspired him to invention.
She could have been his mortal muse
and was, while the goddess elsewhere.
The goddess isn't loyal to just one.
Neither was she, gone out of there.

ONLY BALONEY
You're playing the big O,
playing 'Only The Lonely'.
You think you are getting to me,
but it is all baloney.

You're not lonely, girl,
you are after moving in
and my placing on your finger
a gold wedding ring.

You spoke of independence,
you spoke of a career,
but want to tie me to you
and retire yourself here.

I settled down once, find,
it was against my nature.
I made a good job of it.
It's past, just not my future.

YES-ON-A-MISSION-TO-MARS-
SURE-WENT-MY-MIND
I have been already
to the planet Mars.
A man's imagination
beats probes to the stars.

But not all things
can by us be done.
We can't place imagination
in heads that don't bear one.

for PATTAYA TRADER 249 (F)

BEGULED-BY-BOTH-GOLD-AND-BEAUTY
Ove hills did the captain rove
till he came across the secret cove
that hid away a treasure trove.
There within, jewels and pearls,
and many of the prettiest girls
who'd been kidnapped and enslaved
by a monster cruel and depraved
whom the captain had come to slay
and free the girls he found this day.
He himself by beauty was slain
and by the treasure there to gain.
Caught off-guard, was he to know
the girls were snakes down below?
Nagas of the very worst kind?
Around him their tails would bind.
Entered the monster with his whip.
He'd now gain the captain's ship.
"By girls and gold be not beeguiled,"
said the depraved monster and smiled.

CONSIDER-I-CONSPIRE-WITH-OTHERS-
TO-WIN-YOUR-TRUST?
There's a place called the Conspiracy Club
where guys get together and shoulders rub.
"Keep the women down, hee hee hee,
and the Martian visitor under lock and key.
Tell Elvis not yet to raise his head
and keep on playing at being dead."
But a conspiracy that I know is true...
by people who'd have you believe a club too !

YES-EVERYBODY-HAS-HER-PRICE?
Lap her up, lap lap lap
but do not touch, you'll get a slap.
This lap-dancer sits not in your lap
unless you pay her, old sport, old chap.
Kath is the girl's name
and big money is her game.

Lap lap laps around the pole.
Eat her up, eat her up whole.
She will eat you too, alive !
You've come across a great dive !!

for PATTAYA TRADER 249 (E)

JUST-NOT-SOLD-ON-WHAT-
JOOLZ-HAD-SAID
We know the ladies
like to shop.
They sure like
to buy non-stop.
So why, why,
just why
did Joolz write
'Men like to buy' ?!

ARTIST-LOVER-IS-JENNIFER-WREN
ooh Jenny Wren,
aah Jenny Wren,
gives a little love
and is gone again,
has love to spare
for arty new friends,
has love to spare
for only them.
Loves an art-form
to Jenny Wren.

for PATTAYA TRADER 249 (D)

DAMN-HARD-LESSON-LEARNT-
IT-WAS-PERHAPS ?
They placed him in a plaster-cast.
His whole body wore that mask.
Both his arms outward spread.
Lucky that he wasn't dead.
He looked like a plaster cross
or even a giant albatross
hovering above the wide sea,
though on a hospital bed lay he.
To end his life he had tried,
now he was almost mummified.
Perhaps he had a spirit guide
who diverted this guy's suicide ?
For when he leapt from his ledge
he landed in a neighbouring hedge
that was to soften his fall,
though his bones, broken almost all !
Some things are just not meant to be
in life or in death. Poor fool is he.

for PATTAYA TRADER 249 (C)

THE-MANY-HEADS-THE-SO-WRONG-WAY-ROUND
God is always a damn excuse
for receiving someone's abuse.
Killers who hear voices.
Folk who say they'd no choices.
Politicians who wish to strike
a country that is to their dislike.
"God is dead" a philosopher said,
but he's there in many a wrong head.

WHERE'S-YOUR-HANGDOG-EXPRESSIONS-
YOU-DAMN-POLITICIANS ?
Kick an underdog when he lies down
and that beast can turn around
and bite. Feed him well do
and he'll often be loyal to you.
An underfed-underdog doesn't hang around !

DO-NOT-SUCK-UP-TO-FILM-EDITORS-
A-GULLIBLE-GIRL !
The girl looked lush
in the film-rush.
They edited her scene,
which she thought mean.
But her role as a hooker
they agreed was a sucker.

A-DRUNKEN-DISPLAY
There's the girl once again
drinking in the bar,
awaiting the imaginary letter
that will come from afar:
'Miss Nobody from Nowhere
we'll go make you a star !'

But fame and fortune
won't come her damn way.
No talent and no grades,
her future's looking grey.
A typecast drunk is
a role she might play !

A-MASTERFUL-LITTLE-MISSY'S-NOT-YOU-
NOW-FIND
You are a red rag to a bull,
you are the red rage in his skull.
He sees red, he smells blood,
taken for granted girl, misunderstood,
he'd now knock you to the floor
were you a man. He can't take more
of being used, of being abused
as to his good nature, see him lose
all control, but you he'll not gore.
Not because you're the master-lady-matador !

for PATTAYA TRADER 249 (B)

BRAZEN YOUTH !
Why is music played so loud ?
He doesn't understand.
He much prefers the sound
of the old big brass band !

WHAT-IS-IT-WITH-A-WHITE-CHAPEL ?
There've been black-skies
above the White-Chapels.
There've been bad guys,
yes downright bad apples
at the bottom of the barrels.

FIRE AND SMOKE
He smokes his pipe
and dwells on peace.
Pipe-dream, peace-pipe,
all wars have ceased;
though in reality they've increased ?

HUNGRY THOUGHTS
"Waitress ! Waitress !!
come sit down do,
let us both pass
a word or two,
and can I ask
are you on the menu ?"

FLIPPING-HECK-
PETE-TOOK-A-HARD-HIT ?!
Pete Waterman ?
Hit Factory, yeah,
and presenter to
Hit Man and Her.
Jason Donavan,
Kylie Minogue,
Hit Factory pair
caught in the strobe.
Pete Waterman
the hits have dried.
Just flip them over,
play the other sides ?

CHERYL CHASTE ?
Chipmunk Cheryl
had plump-cheeks.
Not of her face
did boys speak.

No. They spoke
of her cute-butt.
Chipmunk Cheryl,
fond of nuts.

SQUARING-RED-CIRCLES ?
They go round in circles
and get nowhere.
They look old fashioned.
The latter why Red Square ? !

 THE BULL-IN-A-CHINA-SHOP ?
Call him an old-goat
but the guy feels like a bull -
a young one at that -
who doesn't have to pull
at the local knocking shop
where the madam is Chinese
and her store of beauties
are all paid to please.
Call it a brothel,
call it a bordello,
or house of ill-repute,
though healthy is the fellow !

UPS-AND-DOWNS
Yes Yin and Yang
formed mortal-mankind,
the sun and the moon,
both sexes to shine
if surely for the briefest time.

WHEN-THE-OWLS-PARLEY
A parliament of owls ?
But are owls really wise ?
You would not think this of them
in the MPs guise !

NO-CAINE-MUTINY-NOW-MICHAEL !
"Not many people know this,"
said Mister Micklewhite,
but I used to be a Red
until I caught the sight
of money with an actor's name.
You know me as Michael Caine !"

for PATTAYA TRADER 249 (A)

DO-CONDONE-A-CONDOM
Mother Teresa
condemned the condom
and so into misery
born more daughters and sons.

KING-TUT'S-MUMMY
Tutankhamun was
mummified but
had weaned too long
on his mum's tut ?!

CHARMED-BY-CHIMES-
AS-A-CHILD
Nursery rhymes. yes nursery rhymes.
How I used to love those chimes.
Sometimes I'm still the child at heart.
Look at my verses for a start !

THAT'S-THE-SPIRIT !
Some are too fat,
some are too thin.
A happy medium's
said to be the thing.

But I met a medium
who'd a stare.
She saw spirits
in thin air !

for PATTAYA TRADER 248 (H)

YES-DOING-AN-UNLAWFUL-
BUSINESS- FIND
The law is a business
claimed Trollope and Dickens.
"It's so true" cried a prostitute
who solicited dick-ends !

for PATTAYA TRADER 248 (G)

GO BACK TO THE CLASSROOM GUY !
We live in a classless society ?
Try saying that again.
I bought a second-class ticket
today on the train,
but also a first-class meal
in a restaurant called Lorraine's.
The music played there was classic.
A classy girl. Are you Jurassic ?

for PATTAYA TRADER 248 (F)

YES-LADY-SHAMROCK-
IS-COLD-SHE
With his shamrock lady
life is no Shangri-La.
Pain, despair, damn grief,
first, second and third leaf,
she drives him to an Irish bar.

Yes to a bar she drives him,
his life no bed of lucky-clover.
When he lies beside her
she turns away, rolls over.
He is now a shambler,
drunk with Shamus and Shawn,
away with fairies, with leprechauns !

VAMPY-VALERIA
Ah Fenella Fielding
as smouldering Valeria
had men dreamily yielding
in their shared hysteria.
Oh to carry on screaming
throughout a long night
entertained by Valeria,
a wolf-man's sheer delight !

KIND-UNCLE-BOB
Kind Robert had a nephew
who was his brother's son.
The nephew was a nut
who purchased a gun,
shot his father's brother.
Bob's your uncle, he was gone !

CAPTURED-BY-YOUR-FISHNET-
STOCKINGS !
Into your shell-like ear
I'm the whispering tide,
"Spring has come, my dear,
and we're at the seaside.
The air here is fresh.
Fresh, salty, spicy, wet;
and girl your legs meshed
in stockings that are fishnet !"