for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (D)

FRANKENSTEIN
I wrote you a poem,
off the top-of-my-head,
and away with you
my verse then sped
(my imagination ran away with you).
You didn't like poetry,
or so you had said.
What a monster this
to steal you from your bed,
take you where wild-flowers grew.
While birds in the trees
sang above your head,
behind the verse-lines
you then read
with the morning shining through.
Now you are back,
very-safe in bed,
my poem in your hand -
find its monstosity fled -
saying you now like poetry too.

I-HAVE-A-HANGOVER-GIRL
I can't recall your face.
The features are without hope,
while it is my mind's eye
peers down the wrong-end of a telescope.
All I have is your first name
that slipped from my tongue
when I awoke this morning
under a cloud and over-hung.
We met in a bar last night,
spent time in your bed.
I've a sickness in my stomach
and a pain inside my head.
I'd like to say it was good
but I can hardly recall a thing
other than your first name, girl.
Mine the last you'll be remembering !

for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (C)

TOO-BIG-TO-BE-A-
DODDY-DIDDY-GUY
He went for a job as a diddyman.
They said he was far too tall.
So much for equal opportunities,
sure no equality at all !

Even down on his very knees -
in his attempt to beg
for a job with Ken Dodd's show -
he was taller by a leg !

Oh what did he diddy,
oh what did he diddy-do?
He's now face-to-face with giraffes
as a keeper in a zoo !

for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (B)

A DEEP-RED-SUN'S-
SLEEPY-EYE
Pinkened are the clouds
by the sun's red-eye.
Soft and free they sail
across the crimson sky,
the sinking sun about to close
on sand-and-sea, like-a-rose.

CALL-HER-THE-DRUNKEN-
CLOWN
Talk about crazy, ah talk about crazy,
the whole episode was bananas.
The girl looked just like a zebra,
a piss-pot pony in striped pyjamas.
Drunk and down on all fours
she was giddying-up round the room
and circling a single pound coin
that she though was the glistening moon
being reflected in a watery-pool -
and not a small spilt beery-pool
there on the kitchen's lino-floor.
Oh yes she appeared a circus-fool.
And she doubless felt a circus-fool
when finally waking to the morn.
Place a dunce's-cap on her head.
See girl? Now you're a unicorn !

A-DOWN-LOW-TONE-
IT-IS
They're lowering the Tone,
oh they're lowering the Tone.
The priest in his collar
is giving a dog a bone,
and the widow in her weeds
is letting it be known -
now her husband is gone -
she'd like callers at her home.
The chap wasn't up to much,
and he's being lowered down.
Ah yes her husband Tony
is being buried in the ground.
When the funeral is over
to her house will be bound
the priest, the male-mourners,
and that sure-frisky hound !

for PATTAYA TRADER 167 (A)

TRY-HIGH-FLY-
LADYFRIEND-LET-US
I'm the minstrel, I'm the jester,
I play the poet and the fool.
I'm the tragic, I'm the comic,
I'm the wise-owl and the mule.

Spend time with me young-lady
and maybe laugh and cry.
Lie down with me young-lady,
do let's both try-fly-high.

INFINITE-FLOW-SAY-
SOME-FOLK
Alone we enter the world,
the world we exit alone.
Under us lies the cradle,
above us - later - it's the headstone.

And when it comes to later,
from our graves where then we go?
Some say Heaven, some say nowhere,
some say tomb-to-womb again we flow.

THE-DEATH-BOX-
JACKS-AND-JILLS
Have fun while you can,
there's no turning back the clocks.
Life becomes most-serious find
when you're a Jill or Jack in the box !

A-MALT-WHISKY-MARINE'S-
HIGH-SEA-WOMAN
A marinated-mariner,
he's on the malt.
Leave alone the whisky
old soak, old salt.
it's the only female till port.
There you'll find a pretty-solid-sort !

A-SHAGPILE-RUG-BUG-SURE
I'm bitten by the love-bug;
girl join me for a while.
Come over to the rug;
come lie on the shagpile !

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (G)

A-LAST-BREATH-DRAW
Sure like gunslingers in the street,
both barrels blazing Death you'll meet;
or you shall face him like a friend,
but Death will get you in THE END.

A PANTOMIME PYRATE
Lady I's a Long-John,
a Long-John-Silver ooh.
Yea lady I's a Long-John,
a Long-John just fo' you.

Girl I's a Long-John,
member of a motley-crew.
Pieces-of-eight, pieces-of-eight,
pieces-of-eight I got fo' you.

Yo ho ho and yo ho ho,
beach-brown eyes 'ave you.
Arrr lady I's a Long-John
whose eyes are ocean-blue.

Girl I's a Long-John,
come 'n' cruise wi' me.
I'll be yer sailor-boy,
you m' pretty-sailor-lady.

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (F)

THE GREEK GODDESS?
I knew her when in York,
she was from across the sea.
Aphrodite from the foam?
She wasn't all Greek to me.

The girl was a student
and an olive-beauty.
A goddess in the sun?
She wasn't all Greek to me.

Yes I knew her in York,
she was at the University.
We talked into the night.
She wasn't all Greek to me.

DANCING-TO-NATURE'S-
BLOWING-TUNE
Far from the cemented walls,
the brick and mortar of cemetries,
cast my dust on the green hills
or on grass 'tween the forest-trees.
Scatter my ashes along the shore
and let lap up the tonguing sea,
or throw them to the whistling wind,
for in tune with nature I am surely.

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (E)

IT's-A-GREAT-LORD-GOOSE'S-
DOWNFALL-YOU-WILL-SOON-FIND
They were a gaggle of geese
who gave their lord-gander no peace.
Their saucy tales went far beyond
the farmstead with its murky pond.
His harem-wives loved to compare -
and to take the lion's greater share -
with spicy talk of private-behaviour
when alone with him their emperor.
The farmstead they though he ruled.
With this thought their chicks they schooled.
But each of them was a so-silly-goose
as not to spy a wily gander on the loose
among a gaggle that was female all,
that soon male-chicks would be as tall,
and thus this harem then devide,
the lord-gander's empire to subside.
They thought that he truly loved them,
and so he had power over the harem.
They thought the farmstead he truly ruled,
were not aware that he had them fooled
claiming the farmer at his command
who came with food in his hand
to feed the gaggle and lord-gander.
Gossip will geese, no fear of slander !

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (D)

HALLOWEEN HOWLS
There is skulduggery,
there are scallywags.
There are warlocks,
crones and hags.
A ghost-pirate-ship,
there is a coven,
magic and mayhem,
webs are woven.
There's a storm whips
sea-foam into cream.
Creamy as some moons.
My oh my, it's Halloween.

THE TIME WAS
There was a time
I might have said
"Pack your bags girl,"
and we'd have fled
like types of swan
to a warmer clime.
There was a time,
ah there was a time.

There was a time
 not low my means
we'd have bid farewell
to local ponds and streams,
like types of swan
to British wintertime.
There was a time,
ah there was a time.

There was a time
when I'd have found
that to some other
you were not bound.
Like types of swan
from here we'd fly.
There was a time
to touch the sky.

CONCRETE-CITIZEN-ON-
THE-OTHERSIDE
She lived her life
only for the discoteheques,
the drink, the drugs
and for sex, sex, sex.
She's crossed over the big-city street
to lie beneath a headstone of concrete.

for PATTAYA TRADER 166 (C)

THE GREAT BIRD
The White Bird
shines like a star
down on Ormond St
from up-afar.
Nurse Wendies aid
hospital mites.
Oh Peter Pan be
their Xmas light.

BOTH BOUND
The girl slips the ring
past her fingertip.
Find she now owns him.
Her man, too, has ownership.
She owns him and he her.
May it not bind them to despair.

A DIZZY-WORLD
History repeats itself,
human nature seldom changes.
The world is a spinning wheel
no direction rearranges.

A-LIST'S-END-LINE
There are 'isms' and 'ists',
the capitalists and communists,
the sadists and masochists
and more that make the list
that ends with the 'cut-wrists'.