for PATTAYA TRADER 160 (B)

FAIRY-FOOD-FOR-THOUGHT
"Thank you for calling
but I'm not home,
though I stand here
in flesh and bone.
I am out to lunch
as you must see,
away with the fairies
accompanying me.
So thank you again
but I'm not here,
my vacant stare
surely makes that clear."
She shuts the door
in her doctor's face.
Given up on people,
Fairyland she'll grace.

LANA TURNER
Turn round the name 'Lana',
you get 'Alan' and 'anal'.
She gave birth to Kathleen.
To call her male I shall
be saying something absurd,
so these lines are banal !

A-RAILWAY-STATION'S-
CROSS-DRESSING-QUEEN
His hair is long, his nails are clean.
He likes to pose and loves to preen.
They call him the King's Cross queen.
He'll offer every guy a fag,
ask them if their life's a drag.
Thinks he has them in the bag.
His lines are full of expectation,
but not of a train coming to the station !

for PATTAYA TRADER 160 (A)

ANXIOUS-AGEING-ACTRESS-SHE
She's there on Sunset Boulevard
and awaiting the night-time stars.
The young men in fast motorcars
for her, find, no longer slow.
She'd caught the film-camera's eye
and those of youths she strolled-by,
but now it is she gives a sigh:
"Starry-eyes come see this show."

DEAD-OLD-MEAT-WAS-A-MAN
Sandwhiched 'tween two matresses,
find the keen-as-mustard cold
still left the man dead meat.
Ah yes, he sure was old.

PUPPET-ON-A-STRING
How he used lady Ling.
Just his dancing puppet
with a G-string.

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (G)

THE-PASSING-NIGHT-SHIPS?
You on one side
and I on the other,
going in opposite directions.
Each in search of a lover?
There's an irony that is bitter-sweet
when boy and girl pass on the street:
ships in the night never to meet.

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (F)

A-PARTY-POLITICS-POEM
Politics is a loopy loop.
Call me the out-looper.
Can't wave a flag for anyone.
I'm no follow-the-leader trooper.
I try to point to a better way
by being a political party pooper !

THE-FAIRY-GREEN-FROG-PRINCES-
PERHAPS-NOT
She chose her cheese at the dairy.
Ate it with absinthe, saw the green fairy.
Gobbling cheese and drinking grog
can get a girl to kiss many an ugly frog !

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (E)

A-MATTERY-WORLD'S-
REBEL-SPIRITS
The free spirit
is a rebel born.
Not to any conventions
does he conform.

The very idea sure
does a slave betray,
on the planet earth
with its material way.

THE WISE-WOLF-OWLS?
The wild wolf in the wood
has a face like the owl.
Gold-moon on white-snow.
A hoot or a growl?
Both a beast-and-wise-bird-of-prey.
So an owling-wolf? Does it bay?

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (D)

CROW-DED?
Find two crows perch.
The close-pair are united.
Ovehead another hovers,
on their branch soon alighted.
"Oh for crowing out loud,
don't you know three is a crow - d !!"

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (C)

THE-HAPPY-MEDIUM?
"Live your life in moderation,"
said the lady-spiritualist,
as gathered round her the congregation,
"you can't go wrong by this."

MEET-WILL-DUO'S-TWO-
SOULLESS-ENDS
He's a militant socialist,
though he does play the Lottery.
He envies the big-capitalist.
So-selfish find, and damn-greedy,
like the boss for whom he slaves.
Both will be equal in their graves.

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (B)

CITY-CENTRE-CITIZENS
A busker in the subway.
A drug-pusher too.
Above, in cold light of day,
no traffic stops for you.
Along her ladyship strolls
in a coat of mink.
She climbs into a Rolls
and it makes you think
of the beggar who is blind;
penniless and unable to see
the posh-lady on your mind.
A woman of such luxury.
Blind to the priest too -
like him on bended knees -
praying for the prostitute
and confessing to impure deeds.
A roof-top sniper fires.
An assassin he's now become.
A foreign diplomat falls.
City shoppers sure do run.

CONTACT THE CAPTAIN (POET OF PATTAYA)

Email: mark_thai2007@hotmail.com (mark_thai)
Captain Mark (Beevers) Is also a Teacher of English as a Foreign Language
was born 29/1/55 in England (Aquarius)
Has lived in Saltburn, York, Bangkok, Pattaya, Middlesbrough.
Verses published monthly in Pattaya Trader.com
PATTAYA TRADER'S POET'S CORNER (page number varies)

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (A)

SOLD-DOWN-THE-RIVER-
BY-THE-PRESIDENTAL-PAIR-
FOR-SURE?
When a black man comes to power
things will change for ever.
The world will be much better.
Or when a woman comes to power
things will change for ever.
The world will be much better.
This was the promise of the past.
Now a black male pres and lady vice
are both in the White House
and there is no change in price.

for PATTAYA TRADER 158 (G)

THE-PRIVATE-DETECTIVE-IN-
A-NOW-FAR-OFF-PATTAYA
Once upon a time in Pattaya
there was a Private Dick
who was hired by a farang
to tail his girlfriend Lek.
He followed her to where
two suspect guys she met -
a Tom and a Harry named -
at the bar called The Candlewick.
The bar-girls there burned
the candle at both ends.
She spent the entire night
with her two suspect friends.
Now, all the minor gods
from the fields and forests around
would tell you that the city
had sinful sights and sounds.
And it is not a fairy story
Pattaya's a fantasy for grown men,
or that those who come here
do so again and then again.

SIAMESE-MOSQUITOS-AND-
WHIRLWIND-ROMANCE?
Young land of the free,
offspring of old-Siam.
Thailand hits like a tsunami.
Pattaya's palms, sea and sand.
Here girls swarm like flies,
come from far and wide.
Bangkok and Chiang Mai,
and from the countryside.
Come to Pattaya and Jomtien
their fortunes out to seek.
Many to find a wealthy man
or work in bars on every street.
Some are long-legged mosquitos
who blood wish to drain.
Some are romantic-tornadoes.
You'll never foot the ground again.

for PATTAYA TRADER 158 (F)

FILIPINO-FEMALES-BY-
THE-BUSFUL
A coachload of Filipinos,
my fellow-teacher-pal and me,
headed out of Siam's Bangkok.
White-water-rafting went we.
Yes a coachload of females,
my fellow-teacher-pal and me,
went shooting the rapids.
How my heart raced-rapidly !

CHEAT-SURE-CAUGHT-
ON-A-CAMERA
The camera never lies
but the jealous-girl behind it can.
She arranged the scenario
and her game went as to plan.
Seek and you shall find,
and everyone found there
everything but damn-suspicion
in themselves or even her.

YES-THE-THAI-
KICK-BOXER-BEAUTY
Some men love to watch,
but some men want to touch.
If the showgirl doesn't like it
then a kick in his crutch
is sure going to be the cure.
Keep yopur hands to yourself
or feel her foot for sure !

BROWN-EYED-BEAUTY
She has nut-brown eyes.
Her name I'll disguise.
Hazel I'll choose for her.
But who gives a fig
she might very-well twig.
I'm sure that many adore her.

MALE-SLAPPER-SLAPSTICK
Slap-and-tickle
placed him in a pickle.
It was a knock-around comedy.
His wife found out
that he put it about.
It ended-up a knockout tragedy !