for PATTAYA TRADER 244 (E)

THE-NEW-LORDS-OF-MISRULE
What is freedom to me
may not be freedom to you,
and there are those libertines
for which nothing's ever taboo.
A land with no laws, no rules,
would suit these fiends fine.
The mad Marquis de Sade
they sure worship as a divine.

for PATTAYA TRADER 244 (D)

BURIED TREASURE
Contrarian Christopher Hitchens,
his points of view enrichened.
Not every word was found a treasure,
his burial brought some critics pleasure.

THE-BRAWLERS-AND-THE-JUNKIE-
CRAWLERS-NIGHT-OUT
He's a Saturday night brawler
and not a backstreet crawler.
Gets high on the andrenelin
of a fight and not on heroin.
He's not the sort of a guy
you should look in the eye.
Barred from many a bar,
he's given bouncers, by far,
a hiding, a hammering.
He's out front, never let him in !

IT'S-NON-STOP-PARTYING-FOR-
SOME-PEOPLE-WE-WILL-FIND
Many party-people -
liking to have fun -
turn up the music
and get drunk.

They dance around
and tread on toes,
get so damn hot
they take off clothes.

Out every night
on a bender,
they're very much not
a weekender !

for PATTAYA TRADER 244 (C)

FAR-OUT-SEX-WITH-A-MATURE-
FILM-ACTRESS-LOOKALIKE-A-YOUTH-HAD
Like the Hinderburg
the youth was aloft
when he came across
the Anne Bancroft
who - older than he -
schooled him in sex.
The young guy graduated
without reading any texts !

for PATTAYA TRADER 244 (B)

THE-FICTICIOUS-FACTS
"We're all the same,"
we do declare.
"We're all different,"
we'll just later swear.
And, "Like attracts like."
Then later "Opposites attract."
We all enjoy fiction
that's surely a fact !

HOT EDWINA CURRIE?
Edwina's spicy books?
I hear that they cook.
She is a topical MP.
She may be topical
or even be tropical,
but curries no favour with me !

WESTON'S-WARRIORS
Yes it was England's plus,
Argentina's damn sure minus,
Falklands from fascism free,
due to Simon Weston's company.

MID-WINTER-MIRAGES
Hairy-mammoths, snowy-mountains,
tusky-beasts, icy-mountain-peaks,
the cold, cold winter starts to bite
like long ago tigers with sabre-teeth.

for PATTAYA TRADER 244 (A)

TEENAGE-STARRY-WHITE-BRIDE-YES-
AND-HER-BOY-GROOM
The pair ran away
to Gretna Green.
There they got married.
Hitched was this team
to wedlock's shiny-white-star.
From eachother they now run, and far.

THE-OTHERWORLDLY-MADAM-
MINE-IS
The mystic madam,
the mysterious rose,
the magic woman
in my heart grows.

for PATTAYA TRADER (coorection)

'I'll grant you that' not 'I'll give you that'. Correction to verse-poem below. 'Correction' to 'coorection' as above too !

GRANTED-HUGH-THE-HOOKER-DIVINE
Actor Hugh Grant -
with Divine Brown -
was caught with pants,
yes trousers down.

With the Hollywood Hooker
in his car he sat.
He voiced "You're a looker,
I'll grant you that"?!

for PATTAYA TRADER 243 (E)

SARA-THE-SKELETON-KEY
Wed Cecil Parkinson's
Victorian policy
was duly-exposed
as damn hypocrisy
via having a mistress,
young Sara Keays.
Tory MP Parkinson,
in his closet a skeleton !

GRANTED-HUGH-THE-HOOKER-DIVINE
Actor Hugh Grant -
with Divine Brown -
was caught with pants,
yes trousers down.

With the Hollywood Hooker
in his car he sat.
He voiced "You're a looker,
I'll give you that"?!

CYNTHIA'S-HOUSE-OF-SIN-SLAVES !
Cyn Cyn Cyn.
Come again?
Of course guys did
with Cynthia Pain !

for PATTAYA TRADER 243 (D)

SILLITOE SUNDAY
You're out all Saturday night
with a girl named Ginny,
only to awake Sunday morning
an overhung Albert Finney,
and find her lying in your bed.
You are whatever people said !

for PATTAYA TRADER 243 (C)

A-POLLY-PARROT-IS-MOLLY?
She is his Moll,
she is his Molly.
He likens her
to a squawking Polly.
But it is he
who is parroting
the mobsters
of a crime-ring.
by smuggling
and pirating.
She is in fear
of full-on gangstering.

for PATTAYA TRADER 243 (B)

GOLDDUST GALAXY
We're not yet intergalactic,
but we are interconnected
with the whole universe.
By stardust we're affected.

Yes by stardust we're affected,
particles of a Big Bang
are we and the universe,
down to the minute atom.

THE-MINI-MYTH-NO?
A woman can wear
a sheet over her shape,
but that will not stop
a male hell-bent on rape.

Cry aloud, find some,
about the mini-skirt.
Hang on to your hair,
don't lose your shirt.

It was Eve who had
(let us all be fair)
seduced he, Adam,
even out her underwear.

for PATTAYA TRADER 243 (A)

OF-COURSE-KINGS-ARE-BOXED-IN-
VERSE
The man who would be king
climbed into the ring.
The spectators, like an army,
and the ropes, boxed him in.

for PATTAYA TRADER 242 (H)

OLD-WIVES'-TALES-VERSE?
They say that sharks
don't really kill,
it's fish-wife tales
that linger still,
but then go say
that in the deep
sharks can attack you
while in their sleep !
Oh save us, save us all
from the quacks.
From egghed experts
cuckoo brains shall hatch !!

A-MAN-MADE-MOUNTAIN
Under the volcano
by being over the top?
There's too much greed
and too much need.
The mountain's going to pop !

FIND-THE-NOAH-TALE-DOES-
NOT-FLOAT
The animals went in two by two
but also seven by seven?
Did Noah build his ark
all the way up to heaven?
And how did he gather
all beasts the world around?
Would the ark not be so heavy
that the whole story goes down?

for PATTAYA TRADER 242 (G)

THE-WHITE-PLIMSOLL-WINE-LADY-IT-WAS
Sat across the table
in the Plimsoll Line,
her stiletto-shoed feet
playing footsie with mine,
I was drinking beer
and she drank white-wine.
High-tide-fluids was it,
and a flying-high-time !

for PATTAYA TRADER 242 (F)

HOUSMAN-HOMAGE
The past is a distant country
said the poet Housman.
It is a world away
I too can say.
I am a different man.

From youth we pass to age
and the experience fills
the heart and home
with song or poem
of up and downward hills.

for PATTAYA TRADER 242 (E)

A-ROBIN-REDBREAST-WAS-BRIAN
Jones's guitar's no more throbbing.
The screaming girls just turned to sobbing.
Lowered down to his rest
was Brian the Redbreast.
What was it killed Cock Robin?

for PATTAYA TRADER 242 (D)

COMMANDS
How can I love
what is hard to like?
You would have had me
love the Third Reich?
You would have had me
love Stalin's bloody-Reds?
You'd have me love ISIS
who cut off innocents' heads?

CATTY-CALLER?
Oh that Manx minx
in her girlie pinks
she was just a jinx,
gave men the blues.
Meow ! Meeoow !!

for PATTAYA TRADER 242 (C)

WHAT A JOB !
There are some
who'd their job quit
and contently live
on social benefit.

There are some
who'd rather shirk
than go do a day
of hard work.

And there are those
who carry the lame
or lazy bodies
not playing the game.

"Work's sure no fun,"
the idlers say,
"and I would want
much better pay.

Feed me, cloth me,
and house me too,
while I sit back
and laugh at you

who work for money
that will be taxed
so I and my like
can just relax."

But there are those
not of their kind
for whom it's the job
any work to find.

for PATTAYA TRADER 242 (B)

FORESEEN FUTURE?
The Black Serpent
and the Red Dragon met.
The two together
were to beget
a world-wide-monstosity
known to us as World War III?

for PATTAYA TRADER 242 (A)

THE-WITCH-WITHIN
Under the spell
of her beauty
he was the sword
to her sorcery.

Fight the beauty
and her spell?
Kings and fools -
truth to tell -

have found it hard
to try resist
the skin-deep beauty
of an ugly witch.