for PATTAYA TRADER 160 (B)

FAIRY-FOOD-FOR-THOUGHT
"Thank you for calling
but I'm not home,
though I stand here
in flesh and bone.
I am out to lunch
as you must see,
away with the fairies
accompanying me.
So thank you again
but I'm not here,
my vacant stare
surely makes that clear."
She shuts the door
in her doctor's face.
Given up on people,
Fairyland she'll grace.

LANA TURNER
Turn round the name 'Lana',
you get 'Alan' and 'anal'.
She gave birth to Kathleen.
To call her male I shall
be saying something absurd,
so these lines are banal !

A-RAILWAY-STATION'S-
CROSS-DRESSING-QUEEN
His hair is long, his nails are clean.
He likes to pose and loves to preen.
They call him the King's Cross queen.
He'll offer every guy a fag,
ask them if their life's a drag.
Thinks he has them in the bag.
His lines are full of expectation,
but not of a train coming to the station !

for PATTAYA TRADER 160 (A)

ANXIOUS-AGEING-ACTRESS-SHE
She's there on Sunset Boulevard
and awaiting the night-time stars.
The young men in fast motorcars
for her, find, no longer slow.
She'd caught the film-camera's eye
and those of youths she strolled-by,
but now it is she gives a sigh:
"Starry-eyes come see this show."

DEAD-OLD-MEAT-WAS-A-MAN
Sandwhiched 'tween two matresses,
find the keen-as-mustard cold
still left the man dead meat.
Ah yes, he sure was old.

PUPPET-ON-A-STRING
How he used lady Ling.
Just his dancing puppet
with a G-string.

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (G)

THE-PASSING-NIGHT-SHIPS?
You on one side
and I on the other,
going in opposite directions.
Each in search of a lover?
There's an irony that is bitter-sweet
when boy and girl pass on the street:
ships in the night never to meet.

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (F)

A-PARTY-POLITICS-POEM
Politics is a loopy loop.
Call me the out-looper.
Can't wave a flag for anyone.
I'm no follow-the-leader trooper.
I try to point to a better way
by being a political party pooper !

THE-FAIRY-GREEN-FROG-PRINCES-
PERHAPS-NOT
She chose her cheese at the dairy.
Ate it with absinthe, saw the green fairy.
Gobbling cheese and drinking grog
can get a girl to kiss many an ugly frog !

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (E)

A-MATTERY-WORLD'S-
REBEL-SPIRITS
The free spirit
is a rebel born.
Not to any conventions
does he conform.

The very idea sure
does a slave betray,
on the planet earth
with its material way.

THE WISE-WOLF-OWLS?
The wild wolf in the wood
has a face like the owl.
Gold-moon on white-snow.
A hoot or a growl?
Both a beast-and-wise-bird-of-prey.
So an owling-wolf? Does it bay?

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (D)

CROW-DED?
Find two crows perch.
The close-pair are united.
Ovehead another hovers,
on their branch soon alighted.
"Oh for crowing out loud,
don't you know three is a crow - d !!"

for PATTAYA TRADER 159 (C)

THE-HAPPY-MEDIUM?
"Live your life in moderation,"
said the lady-spiritualist,
as gathered round her the congregation,
"you can't go wrong by this."

MEET-WILL-DUO'S-TWO-
SOULLESS-ENDS
He's a militant socialist,
though he does play the Lottery.
He envies the big-capitalist.
So-selfish find, and damn-greedy,
like the boss for whom he slaves.
Both will be equal in their graves.