PARLIAMENTRY PANTALOONS
There's divide-and-conquer,
but no divide-and-rule.
You cannot rule division, find,
as now sees wise-man and fool !
THE MARCH MADNESS MAN ?
Mad as a March hare,
I'm one of the old-loons
who so-think April showers
shall one day be monsoons !
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
Monday, February 25, 2019
from MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP No. 128 the flyer/circular
From the flyer/circular:- Though Irish, Spike Milligan's parents were living in India when he was born, thus he said he was Indian. The comic became friend to Prince Charles. He voted Labour, though he'd fall out with the party at times, and fall out with the BBC for whom he worked. His manager, Norma Farnes, often visited a friend on Glenside, next door to me, and would sometimes bring Spike along for the ride. The comic was much concerned with pollution and overpopulation. He wrote both funny and serious verses, having a big fan in Joanna Lumley. Known for his collaboration with Peter Sellers in The Goon Show, he went onto his own tv series and wrote comical novels about his part in the war. He was an inspiration to the Monty Python's Flying Circus team whom I also met when there was a celebrity/star gig in Teesside, which I've mentioned more than once before. Eric Idle was over from where he was living in Bangkok. I was back from teaching English Language there, and in Pattaya, Thailand. The celebs arrived - from Middlesbrough in taxis, mini-buses, coaches - on Albion Terrace, throughout the day, and the next, filing down the alley at the rear, past my side-door on Glenside, some to go through the nearby wood to the seafront pubs, some to take the S-bank route. Cate Blanchet asked to use my toilet, but then decided most everyone else might want to! So she didn't. Later, in a tv interview, she joked the English live in alleyways! I'd earlier informed Tom Fletcher of McFly and Pete Doherty of The Libertines/Babyshambles that they, and any of their friends wishing to visit Saltburn, could use the alleyway, to avoid the town centre. Paul McCartney was already aware of my magazine Saltburn Scene. He'd received a copy on the Mull of Kintyre. David Bowie, Paul Simon and Clint Eastwood were amongst the last to arrive. Richard Branson, Simon Cowell and the Oasis brothers were amongst the first. Pere Waterman was surprised to learn from me that his old pal, Trev Teasdel, had lived for a time in Saltburn. I understand the landlady of The Queen public house has many photos of visiting celebs. Cheers mateys, Captain Mark
Thursday, February 21, 2019
for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 287 (G)
CHOOSED TO BE
NO NEW MUSE SHE
She could have been
my Angel of the North,
or the Valkyrie
on a heaven-high horse.
My angel, my goddess,
my latest verse-muse
the girl might have been.
She chose yesterday's news !
NO NEW MUSE SHE
She could have been
my Angel of the North,
or the Valkyrie
on a heaven-high horse.
My angel, my goddess,
my latest verse-muse
the girl might have been.
She chose yesterday's news !
Saturday, February 16, 2019
for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 287 (F)
LOVERS UNLINKED
He found her stocking
in his bottom drawer.
She found his cufflink
on her bedroom floor.
There is no knocking
at each-other's door.
Stockings and cufflinks
are from a world before.
He found her stocking
in his bottom drawer.
She found his cufflink
on her bedroom floor.
There is no knocking
at each-other's door.
Stockings and cufflinks
are from a world before.
Thursday, February 14, 2019
for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 287 (E)
A-GIRL'S-DAMN-ANGRY-DAD'S-
DOUBLE-BARREL-BLAST
Her daddy pointed a big-shotgun.
Said "Marry my daughter or you're dead, son.
In seven months the stork will arrive,
so get over here boy and look-alive !
Two months pregnant is my little girl.
Say your prayers and goodbye to the world,
or come right here and be wedded
to she whom you went and bedded !"
Those were the days before the Pill
way up there on Hillbilly-Hill.
Those were the days when sex was a sin
and not as healthy as a hillside spring.
And so they married, the child kept hush
till the stork left it under the gooseberry-bush.
THE-HONEY-POT-MOON-
DOWNWARD-POURED
My girl and I lay together spooned.
Outside the window the night was mooned.
The stars, like eyes, our bodies ate
with their glare, our bed their plate.
I did not take her for my wife.
We did not pair like fork and knife.
My girl and I lay together in a spoon
while poured-down upon us a honeyed-moon.
VALENTINE-VERSE-MINE
My pen says more
than can I
when we speak
eye to eye.
My heart says more
than can I
when we meet.
I'm too shy.
Convention's surely
not my line,
but hear this:
be my valentine.
DOUBLE-BARREL-BLAST
Her daddy pointed a big-shotgun.
Said "Marry my daughter or you're dead, son.
In seven months the stork will arrive,
so get over here boy and look-alive !
Two months pregnant is my little girl.
Say your prayers and goodbye to the world,
or come right here and be wedded
to she whom you went and bedded !"
Those were the days before the Pill
way up there on Hillbilly-Hill.
Those were the days when sex was a sin
and not as healthy as a hillside spring.
And so they married, the child kept hush
till the stork left it under the gooseberry-bush.
THE-HONEY-POT-MOON-
DOWNWARD-POURED
My girl and I lay together spooned.
Outside the window the night was mooned.
The stars, like eyes, our bodies ate
with their glare, our bed their plate.
I did not take her for my wife.
We did not pair like fork and knife.
My girl and I lay together in a spoon
while poured-down upon us a honeyed-moon.
VALENTINE-VERSE-MINE
My pen says more
than can I
when we speak
eye to eye.
My heart says more
than can I
when we meet.
I'm too shy.
Convention's surely
not my line,
but hear this:
be my valentine.
for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 287 (D)
DARK DAYS
On the backs of owls with bloody bills
the very cruel little people came,
riding high above the tops of trees and hills,
over pond and lake and old country lane.
On rocks in the sea the mermaids sat and sang
while along the shore the water-nymphs played,
there to be caught by the sharp eye of any young man
who onto the moonlit cliffs had strayed.
And on the pirates' or the smugglers' ship
he might have spied far out beyond the bay
the jolly sailors, after their all-round trip,
through his telescope, drunk and at play.
Yes on the backs of owls with bloody bills
the very cruel little people came.
It's said there is black magic still,
or that such darkness shall come again.
UGLY-THE-WITCH-WITHIN
Under the spell
of her beauty
he was the sword
to her sorcery.
Fight the beauty
and her spell ?
Kings and fools -
truth to tell -
have found it hard
to try to resist
the skin-deep beauty
of a soul-ugly witch.
On the backs of owls with bloody bills
the very cruel little people came,
riding high above the tops of trees and hills,
over pond and lake and old country lane.
On rocks in the sea the mermaids sat and sang
while along the shore the water-nymphs played,
there to be caught by the sharp eye of any young man
who onto the moonlit cliffs had strayed.
And on the pirates' or the smugglers' ship
he might have spied far out beyond the bay
the jolly sailors, after their all-round trip,
through his telescope, drunk and at play.
Yes on the backs of owls with bloody bills
the very cruel little people came.
It's said there is black magic still,
or that such darkness shall come again.
UGLY-THE-WITCH-WITHIN
Under the spell
of her beauty
he was the sword
to her sorcery.
Fight the beauty
and her spell ?
Kings and fools -
truth to tell -
have found it hard
to try to resist
the skin-deep beauty
of a soul-ugly witch.
Saturday, February 2, 2019
for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 287 (C)
A-HOUSE-HAUNT
Down the road that leads to the old mill
the haunted house was standing still
where Tom and Paul used to play
long ago on that fateful day.
The house was not haunted then,
but the two were to pretend
that a ghost went its rounds
and that they both were out of bounds.
There the pair would clown, would fool,
that day they were truant from school,
yet something dreadful was to occur
and set young Tom's mind astir.
Now young Paul has long been dead
for against a beam he struck his head,
though Tom insisted Paul did not die,
were you to ask he'd have told you why.
It was because they'd meet up to play
every year on that fateful day,
while the two together you'd not see
as Paul was the ghost of Tom's memory.
THE SINGER MISS G. MOTH SOARED
War had come around again.
Find the girl had took the name
of the Gypsy Moth aeroplane.
In the bar soldiers thronged
to hear her voice her songs
of lovers and lovers wronged.
All their fears they overcame
with a soaring sing-along.
DRAWING A LINE BETWEEN ?
She was drunk on love
when she phoned.
He was very-drunk
and droned and droned.
She'd not heard him
when this stoned.
She put down the phone,
hung up on him.
He'd be hung over
in the morning.
A landline now drawn
'tween both of them ?
Down the road that leads to the old mill
the haunted house was standing still
where Tom and Paul used to play
long ago on that fateful day.
The house was not haunted then,
but the two were to pretend
that a ghost went its rounds
and that they both were out of bounds.
There the pair would clown, would fool,
that day they were truant from school,
yet something dreadful was to occur
and set young Tom's mind astir.
Now young Paul has long been dead
for against a beam he struck his head,
though Tom insisted Paul did not die,
were you to ask he'd have told you why.
It was because they'd meet up to play
every year on that fateful day,
while the two together you'd not see
as Paul was the ghost of Tom's memory.
THE SINGER MISS G. MOTH SOARED
War had come around again.
Find the girl had took the name
of the Gypsy Moth aeroplane.
In the bar soldiers thronged
to hear her voice her songs
of lovers and lovers wronged.
All their fears they overcame
with a soaring sing-along.
DRAWING A LINE BETWEEN ?
She was drunk on love
when she phoned.
He was very-drunk
and droned and droned.
She'd not heard him
when this stoned.
She put down the phone,
hung up on him.
He'd be hung over
in the morning.
A landline now drawn
'tween both of them ?
for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 287 (B)
FREE SPEECH
You can speak of freedom,
you can win applause:
and yet speak freely,
you must die for your cause !
CAREERING TOWARDS
COMPLETE CONTROL ?
There has always been division
due to our individuality.
At our very best
we can agree to disagree.
Who wants to be the same
when we can be unique ?
Most governments don't like that,
it makes their power weak.
You can speak of freedom,
you can win applause:
and yet speak freely,
you must die for your cause !
CAREERING TOWARDS
COMPLETE CONTROL ?
There has always been division
due to our individuality.
At our very best
we can agree to disagree.
Who wants to be the same
when we can be unique ?
Most governments don't like that,
it makes their power weak.
for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 287 (A)
EDWIN-THE-BEHEADED-KING
The ravens perch
upon the headstones
in the graveyard where
lay buried the bones
of York's King Edwin
whom, in battle beheaded,
in Whitby Abbey's grounds
was then bedded.
Hilda of the Abbey
was his great-niece.
Now, like Dracula ?
the King was a peace.
BASKING IN THE BAST-LIKE SMILE
Bast, offspring of Isis,
Bast of the cat or lion-head.
Bast, director of the sun's rays
it once had been said.
Musicians come play, dancers come dance,
time for a Bast festivity.
I bask in the very sunny-smile
of a sure-catlike Siamese lady.
WENT-A-WATER-HORSE-KNIGHT-RIDER
A fairy-knight upon a kelpie rode.
It swam as fast as the river flowed
through the valley 'tween highland hills.
And under an old haggy's spells
her minute minions took up their bows,
and fired, at the pair, poisoned arrows.
But swam the kelpie with such speed
the arrows missed the knight and his steed.
There is magic in thoughts just as fast,
and imaginations that sure do spell-cast.
THE ARTIST-AND-THE-POET
Kate went to live in Newcastle
where had been filmed Get Carter.
I went to live in York City
where'd be filmed some of Harry Potter.
A sort of grim reality or fairy-story
our own dreams we had to pursue.
Cities are often made of both.
Oh katy, have you found that too ?
The ravens perch
upon the headstones
in the graveyard where
lay buried the bones
of York's King Edwin
whom, in battle beheaded,
in Whitby Abbey's grounds
was then bedded.
Hilda of the Abbey
was his great-niece.
Now, like Dracula ?
the King was a peace.
BASKING IN THE BAST-LIKE SMILE
Bast, offspring of Isis,
Bast of the cat or lion-head.
Bast, director of the sun's rays
it once had been said.
Musicians come play, dancers come dance,
time for a Bast festivity.
I bask in the very sunny-smile
of a sure-catlike Siamese lady.
WENT-A-WATER-HORSE-KNIGHT-RIDER
A fairy-knight upon a kelpie rode.
It swam as fast as the river flowed
through the valley 'tween highland hills.
And under an old haggy's spells
her minute minions took up their bows,
and fired, at the pair, poisoned arrows.
But swam the kelpie with such speed
the arrows missed the knight and his steed.
There is magic in thoughts just as fast,
and imaginations that sure do spell-cast.
THE ARTIST-AND-THE-POET
Kate went to live in Newcastle
where had been filmed Get Carter.
I went to live in York City
where'd be filmed some of Harry Potter.
A sort of grim reality or fairy-story
our own dreams we had to pursue.
Cities are often made of both.
Oh katy, have you found that too ?
Friday, February 1, 2019
for MIDDLESBROUGH MAGIC SHIP 286 (E)
GREEN GIANT AHEAD OF THE GAME
A Green Knight, as green as holly,
rode into King Arthur's court, bold as a berry.
Prickly was the Green Knight's boast
to Arthur's guests, and to their very-host
whom to his challenge, would've give way
to the Knight sent by Morgan le Fay,
or Morgan the Fairy, as we English say,
who held the Knight under her sway.
But Gawain, or Gavin, Arthur's nephew,
a fine man of honour and integrity too,
took up the challenge, ah yes Gawain
took up the Knight's Beheading Game.
The Knight's head fell like a berry,
yet still he rode-off, and merry !
Head back on his shoulders he went,
the Knight whom Morgan le Fay had sent.
A Green Knight, as green as holly,
rode into King Arthur's court, bold as a berry.
Prickly was the Green Knight's boast
to Arthur's guests, and to their very-host
whom to his challenge, would've give way
to the Knight sent by Morgan le Fay,
or Morgan the Fairy, as we English say,
who held the Knight under her sway.
But Gawain, or Gavin, Arthur's nephew,
a fine man of honour and integrity too,
took up the challenge, ah yes Gawain
took up the Knight's Beheading Game.
The Knight's head fell like a berry,
yet still he rode-off, and merry !
Head back on his shoulders he went,
the Knight whom Morgan le Fay had sent.
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