for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (E)

ALL I REALLY NEED
Three meals a day.
That's what I said.
Give me a girl too
and a sturdy bed !
Top it off with
a roof over my head.

IS-IT-LIVINGSTONE-AND-CARR-
BY-MONEY-ARE-DRIVEN?
An alternative comedian Jimmy Carr?
He's as alternative as Red Ken !
Carr and Livingstone have tax-dodged.
Capitalists are the two of them !

DEVIL-RED DOUBLE-TALK VERSE
Don't speak of sisters and brothers
when you'd make some more equal than others.
Your communist party's not on the level.
It's a cunning underworld devil !

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (D)

AN EVOLUTIONARY VERSE
Come the 'Evolution'.
Better 'Head' than dead.
Cosmic-consciousness,
universal-harmony it's said.

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (C)

PARADOX
Why do I write
and my QUICK-words display?
Perhaps it is I have
MORE than some to say?
QUIET man
that I am !

YES-FAT-PUPPETS-ON-
THE-CHAIN-FIND
Fast-foods for slow-thought
cause indigestion of the brain.
Don't be a right-mindless puppet
on a fatty-fast-foods chain.

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (B)

ON-BOARD-ROCKERS'-CASH-
IS-OFFSHORE-SURE-FIND
Rock 'n' rollers sell we fans dreams.
They like the fame, the drugs and girls.
The record-industry is a big-ship
in a shallow money-grubbing world.

Some sing of revolution and anarchy
but keep their cash in banks off our shore.
Of course, I can't speak for them all,
yet it's very capitalistic, that is for sure.

SURE-STANDING-OUT-IN-A-
CROWDED-INSTITUTION
I'd very long-hair
and wore denims blue.
That wasn't good enough
for the teachers at school.

Now I'm a teacher
my fellows all cry
"Why is it you wear
a suit and even a tie?!"

NOT-SINGLED-OUT-TO-LOOK-
THE-RIGHT-MICKY-DOUGLAS !
The title of the film
do I now forget,
starring Jack Nicholson
and Ann Margaret.
It was about carnal knowledge
(all the sex you can get).
It's what I wanted back then,
and I have no regret
that I got it. Oh boy, oh yes,
it has been no spoiler
as with a Michael Douglas
and his Glen Close pet-bunny-boiler !

for PATTAYA TRADER 162 (A)

CONDOM DON
I think that it is damn-silly
for John-Thomas, Dick and Willy
just never to use a condom.
It is clever, find, to don one.

THE-RED-LANTERN-LIGHT-LADY
The lady of the lantern's red light
slays the Western dragon in its flight.
Hers is the light of blue love,
but she a softly-cooing dove.
Soothes she with mystical charms
they who lie in this lady's arms.
Men go their eyes to feast
on this woman of the Far-South-East.

COST-FREE PEACE
Find freedom I'd not sacrifice
for the slavery of peace-at-any-price.

A-LYING-DOWN-LADY-DANCER
To the needle in the groove
how the lady likes to move.
Ah the needle in the groove,
the music of making love.
Not the needle of the record-deck,
nor the needle of the junkie-wreck.

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (J)

THE LADYLIKE-BOYS-SEEK-ATTENTION-
IN-SUNSHINE-CITY
You don't need the third
all-seeing eye
for the third-sex
found here to spy.
That is what they call
the loud ladyboys
who in many bars
make a big noise.
Each to his own?
How this perplexes.
I've seen them with
the two opposite sexes !

for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (I)

A GINNY-GRIN
She was old and ugly.
Yes as ugly as sin.
Empty bottle in her cold-hand
and a toothless grin.

She was old and ugly,
on a booze-soaked-bed.
Empty bottle in her cold-hand.
Not dead drunk, just dead.

BOBTAIL BOBBIT
There was a guy called Bobbit
who'd been going like a rabbit
with someone other than his wife.
The wife cured him of his habit
by cutting off his tail-bit ...
with a bunny-skinning knife?

TIFFANY-THE-TIGHTROPE-WALKER
Tiffany is a high-wire act,
her skirt is a silk-parachute.
When she sails to the ground
the waves of applause are accute.
There is no holding them back
(her ancestor was King Canute).
Yes when she sails to the ground,
having fallen from the high-wire
(which is very often find),
the male audience spies no under-attire !