NAUGHTY-NYMPHO
She'll be really-bad
for her sugar-dad
with his white candy-floss-hair.
Both are being had.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Saturday, June 9, 2012
for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (G)
TYPES-AND-ALIKES
Geordie chap
Andy Cap
and his missus, Flo.
Not all the likes
and stereotypes
hang up their hats, y'know.
PATTAY-LADYBOY
Is she running from poverty
or here to get rich quick?
Maybe it's to earn money
to feed a bad drug-habit?
She sports several tatoos
but looks to you real slick.
Better watch-out young fella,
I hear she's got a big-dick !
Geordie chap
Andy Cap
and his missus, Flo.
Not all the likes
and stereotypes
hang up their hats, y'know.
PATTAY-LADYBOY
Is she running from poverty
or here to get rich quick?
Maybe it's to earn money
to feed a bad drug-habit?
She sports several tatoos
but looks to you real slick.
Better watch-out young fella,
I hear she's got a big-dick !
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (F)
DICTATING-A-DIET-TO-LOOK-
SHAPELY-FASHINABLE-FIND
The people all eat little
for the state has big-money spent
on spiralling architecture.
Brick, steel, concrete and cement.
The ruler is so hungry for style.
It's a half-starve-the-populace government.
SHAPELY-FASHINABLE-FIND
The people all eat little
for the state has big-money spent
on spiralling architecture.
Brick, steel, concrete and cement.
The ruler is so hungry for style.
It's a half-starve-the-populace government.
for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (E)
WEIGHTY-REACTION-WAITS-IN-
THE-THEATRE-OF-ACTION'S-WINGS
Follow in the Buddha's footsteps
to where his spirit had set
having first risen in India.
Now Red China is in Tibet.
Yes Red China is in Tibet
his philosophy there to stamp-out
with their booted-footprints.
Thus does heavy-karma come about.
PARTNERS
Part-time love?
Is it so bad
when full-time love
can not be had?
A-RED-RUSSIAN'S-SHARP-REPLY
"No criminals in Russia,"
the communist soldier had said.
That is surely because they sent them
to colder Siberia instead !
SEVERELY-SEVERED
"Find no criminals here,"
the religion's leader had said.
Well it is hard to kill or steal
missing hands, arms, feet or legs !
POSTCARD-FROM-THE-
FAIRWEATHERED-PATTAYA-SEASCAPE
I'm surrounded by Thai girls
before an oceanic view.
The sandy sun and beach of dun
now the evening has closer drew.
Yes I've surrounded myself with beauty,
as you know poets are wont to do.
THE-THEATRE-OF-ACTION'S-WINGS
Follow in the Buddha's footsteps
to where his spirit had set
having first risen in India.
Now Red China is in Tibet.
Yes Red China is in Tibet
his philosophy there to stamp-out
with their booted-footprints.
Thus does heavy-karma come about.
PARTNERS
Part-time love?
Is it so bad
when full-time love
can not be had?
A-RED-RUSSIAN'S-SHARP-REPLY
"No criminals in Russia,"
the communist soldier had said.
That is surely because they sent them
to colder Siberia instead !
SEVERELY-SEVERED
"Find no criminals here,"
the religion's leader had said.
Well it is hard to kill or steal
missing hands, arms, feet or legs !
POSTCARD-FROM-THE-
FAIRWEATHERED-PATTAYA-SEASCAPE
I'm surrounded by Thai girls
before an oceanic view.
The sandy sun and beach of dun
now the evening has closer drew.
Yes I've surrounded myself with beauty,
as you know poets are wont to do.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (D)
MAKE-NO-CLEAR-SONG-AND-
DANCE-ABOUT-BULLDOZERS
In a country where
they bulldoze the homes
of their own people
to make a host-zone
for the singers from
many other proud-nations
to sing in a Eurovision
Contest stadium,
everyone is brought down
to the very-level
of dirt and dust,
of grit and gravel.
Only the contest-singers
may sound-out vocal,
and merely about love.
Kept quiet are the locals.
COME UNSTUCK?
Yes you knob,
you penis point,
head hung low,
did she disappoint?
Did the girl
give you no rise?
It's she likes
less stuck-up guys.
DANCE-ABOUT-BULLDOZERS
In a country where
they bulldoze the homes
of their own people
to make a host-zone
for the singers from
many other proud-nations
to sing in a Eurovision
Contest stadium,
everyone is brought down
to the very-level
of dirt and dust,
of grit and gravel.
Only the contest-singers
may sound-out vocal,
and merely about love.
Kept quiet are the locals.
COME UNSTUCK?
Yes you knob,
you penis point,
head hung low,
did she disappoint?
Did the girl
give you no rise?
It's she likes
less stuck-up guys.
Monday, May 28, 2012
for PATTAYA TRADER 161 (C)
WHY-GIRLS-GET-THE-HUMP?
The Arab said he'd swop a camel
for the English-guy's girlfriend.
It had two humps in the wrong place,
and to bed a camel's surely the world's end !!
Two humps on a female-camel.
Yes you'll find I'm being very rude.
Fathers give away daughters at the altar
in Britain. No swops. Are they devalued?!
THE RESPONSIBLE-CHOICE-POEM
You say no man is born evil.
Because a helpless babe sure hurts not?
What about a latent seed-of-evil
from a previous life that had gone to pot?
Somebody from a good background
has grown-up to be bad.
Somebody from a bad background
has grown-up to be good.
We can't give all the blame to society.
We each have a choice and responsibility.
THE CHEF WORD
Is it Gordon Ramsey
or is it Ramsbottom?
To the end of the gin bottle
has the cooking guy gotten?
Every other word is "eff".
A television series
about a gin-soaked chef ?!
THE WRONG-WINDOW-VIEW
They said she was asking for it,
being out alone at night
in a micro-mini-skirt
and a sweater way-too-tight.
They say that she deserved it,
the rapist she was to over-excite.
But leaving a window open
on a very hot summery night
is an invitation to a burglar,
though it doesn't put the guy in the right !
The Arab said he'd swop a camel
for the English-guy's girlfriend.
It had two humps in the wrong place,
and to bed a camel's surely the world's end !!
Two humps on a female-camel.
Yes you'll find I'm being very rude.
Fathers give away daughters at the altar
in Britain. No swops. Are they devalued?!
THE RESPONSIBLE-CHOICE-POEM
You say no man is born evil.
Because a helpless babe sure hurts not?
What about a latent seed-of-evil
from a previous life that had gone to pot?
Somebody from a good background
has grown-up to be bad.
Somebody from a bad background
has grown-up to be good.
We can't give all the blame to society.
We each have a choice and responsibility.
THE CHEF WORD
Is it Gordon Ramsey
or is it Ramsbottom?
To the end of the gin bottle
has the cooking guy gotten?
Every other word is "eff".
A television series
about a gin-soaked chef ?!
THE WRONG-WINDOW-VIEW
They said she was asking for it,
being out alone at night
in a micro-mini-skirt
and a sweater way-too-tight.
They say that she deserved it,
the rapist she was to over-excite.
But leaving a window open
on a very hot summery night
is an invitation to a burglar,
though it doesn't put the guy in the right !
Saturday, May 26, 2012
WHERE? (repeat)
This is the original lyric I sent plasterer-rapper Zipparah (Zippy) Tafari when he advertised for a suitable lyric for the Britain's Got Talent show on Facebook. I was teaching English in Thailand at the time. It's derived from two much older (naughtier) lyrics of mine. He said he wanted to enter the show as he wasn't getting any younger.
WHERE?
Where'd I put my door-key?
Where'd I put my cellphone?
Where'd I put my car-keys?
Where'd I put them down?
This must happen to everyone
(even the Queen)
I went out Saturday night
and ended up in a fight
Lost my cellphone and my keys
Where did I put down these?
(Rpt. all 3 x)
WHERE?
Where'd I put my door-key?
Where'd I put my cellphone?
Where'd I put my car-keys?
Where'd I put them down?
This must happen to everyone
(even the Queen)
I went out Saturday night
and ended up in a fight
Lost my cellphone and my keys
Where did I put down these?
(Rpt. all 3 x)
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